Afterglow Pt. 03

"Now me," Olivia said with a smile. She undressed quickly, even taking off her underwear, before burrowing beneath the covers with me. "Brrrrr. So cold."

I nuzzled into her shoulder and rested my arm against her chest, thrilling in the sensation of her cold, hard nipples pressing into my skin. My body felt simultaneously heavy but light, and I felt like I couldn't keep my vision straight.

Olivia kissed my neck. "My princess."

"What am I going to do?"

Olivia stroked the arm on top of her. "About?"

"Rose. Felicity. I just feel so bad that we made this connection and I have to abandon them to that asshole."

"Be content that he has at least the desire to win."

I heard someone honking passionately outside.

"What was it like when you found out you had breast cancer? I know it's a stupid question. I mean, obviously it sucked but we never really-"

Olivia inhaled deeply, and exhaled loudly. "At first, I didn't really believe it. Not that I didn't believe it, I mean... I saw the test results. I went to more than one doctor. I knew they weren't lying to me. But I still didn't believe it. This body of mine that I dragged around the world was betraying me. I couldn't make sense of it."

A fire truck wailed passed by my building.

"When it hit me, it was hard. I had a lot of supportive friends. They were a big part of why I made it, of that I have no doubt. But it was lonely, too. And eye-opening. I wanted to do everything, go everywhere. I went to every new play that opened. I went to every restaurant and spent a fortune trying the best dishes, the most supreme champagnes. I wanted to kiss attractive strangers on the streets, I wanted a million love affairs. Staring death in the face is quite different than having it hover unpleasantly in the background."

She sighed and stretched out. "And there was that loneliness again, because I spent a great deal of time alone, too. Some nights it felt like there was no one else living but me. Which was funny, considering my body was failing."

I played with her hair. "And then what settled you? Because you're settled now, believe it or not."

"Painting, as always," she said with a smile in her voice. "It grounds me. Makes me see things in this almost magical way. But sometimes my head is too far up in the clouds and I can't see the ground below me. Do you know what I mean?"

"I think I have a problem seeing anything above the skyline."

We were quiet for a long time. I listened to the sounds outside and watched the shadows on the ceiling. It wasn't until she turned to me that I realized Olivia was awake.

"I'm so glad I found you." She kissed me.

"Why?"

"Many reasons. You fight for goodness."

"It's my job."

"Shut up! And you may have had your qualms about our relationship, but you were never a coward. You're a good person."

I took her hand and carried it up to my heart. "Why do you like me so much?"

I saw her smile in the dim light. "Because you loved my painting. Because you seem so innocent and new; I love shocking you. Because you let Toronto sleep on the bed. Because you sing Madonna songs under your breath when you're not paying attention." She kissed my shoulder. "Because you're up at 4am worrying about your poor clients."

I squeezed her hand. "I like you because—"

"Another night, when I'm more awake to appreciate it. Goodnight, sweetheart.

"Goodnight."

She reached over to kiss me, and only after that was I able to sleep.