Haunted

I knew that if I wanted it, he would give himself to me completely. And I did want it. I wanted it so badly that I couldn't think straight, could hardly even enjoy his touch, because I knew I'd crave it again once it was over.

"I should get a condom," he panted, his greedy cock nudging against my thigh. One hand reached for my breast and massaged it. "I can't get you pregnant."

"We can't do this," I moaned, but there was no conviction behind the words.

Beau knew I wasn't really protesting, but he stopped moving. His breath was hot against my neck. "Addison, it's not over for us. Can't you see that? There will never be anyone but you for me, and I'm the only person in the world who is ever going to understand you. Please stop fighting. Take me into you, baby. We both need it."

My hand moved down to touch him against my will. Our eyes met, and I could just make out their shine through the shadows. He let out a desperate sound when I rubbed his hardness through his boxers. He continued to grasp my breast over my shirt and tickled my nipple with his lips. He sucked my cloth-covered nipple into his mouth, then moved hungrily on to the next one.

"Beau," I whispered, careening toward complete submission. He bared a breast to the cool air, then to his mouth.

Suddenly the wind tore through the room, rattling everything, including myself. Awareness came rushing back. I bolted up and pushed my brother back.

"No. We can't. The world will never understand and..."

Beau dropped his forehead onto mine. "Please," he panted.

But I was stone, and I could see from his expression that he knew it. He tenderly readjusted my shirt so that I was covered.

"I'll love you forever, Addison." He got up and shuffled toward the door. Before he closed it behind him, he made one last vow. "This isn't over between us. It will never be."

*****

Beau and I crossed paths the next morning when we were both out doing various errands. I had been searching for an apartment, needing to get away from my brother as soon as possible, and he was coming out of the hardware store. We ran into each other on the main thoroughfare, and even with dozens of people close by us, I had the urge to pounce on him.

I tried to smile, but my lips wouldn't work. "Hey, you."

"Are we playing this game?"

"What game?"

He shifted the bag he was carrying to his other arm and let out a mirthless laugh. "Where we pretend to be normal, like nothing happened. Like I didn't have your nipple in my mouth last night."

I grabbed onto Beau's arm and tugged him into a nearby alleyway. "Are you kidding me? Anyone could have heard you just now."

He made a frustrated noise. "Don't you get it by now? I don't care." He dropped the bag he was carrying and took three giant steps toward me. He was nose to nose with me. "I saw the way you were just looking at me. Don't pretend you don't want me."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Stop making this so difficult."

"You're the one making this difficult. To me, it's the simplest thing ever." And with that, my brother yanked me toward him and kissed me. The kiss was punishing and cruel; my lips hurt under his as he bit and sucked. It didn't matter. It was one of the best kisses of my life.

When he pulled away, I involuntarily tried to bring him back. Beau only shook his head and picked his bag up. He turned his back on me and went back out on the busy street, disappearing in the crowd.

*****

After my run-in with Beau, I went for coffee. I spotted Gavin at a table near the door, his face alert and his body tense as if he were ready to strike. He was waiting for me. I was sure of it.

"Come sit with me," he said by way of greeting.

"Oh, I'm kind of in a rush and..."

"Just for a few minutes." His tone was firm but pleasant.

Feeling as though I had no alternative, I sat on the chair opposite him and waited for him to speak. He took his time, needlessly swirling his spoon in his cup.

"You know, I used to have a big crush on you in high school."

"Did you?" I asked flatly. I looked around the coffee shop, trying to think of a way to escape. I didn't like where this was heading.

Something brushed against my knee. His hand. I jerked my leg back and stood. "Don't touch me, Gavin."

"Sit down."

I picked up my drink and bag, ignoring him.

He called me back, this time with a threat. "I have pictures, Addison."

I lowered myself back on the seat, searching his face. "Pictures?"

His smile was disgusting and predatory. He scrolled through his phone and held up the screen so I could see. It was of Beau and me, our bodies entwined in the alley. You could definitely make out that we were kissing. My hand went up to my mouth and I knew I went pale. Gavin's vile grin widened. "Are you willing to listen now?"

My voice was barely audible. "What do you want?"

He crossed his leg and did a little bounce in his seat like a child finally getting his way. "So, as I said before, I always had a crush on you. You never seemed to reciprocate those feelings. I only dated Victoria to be close to you. Surely, you know that."

"I had no idea."

He laughed. "What a liar you are!" His eyes flickered over to his phone, the picture still illuminated. My hands flexed with the desire to reach out and grab it. "I guess you had to be. I always suspected, you know. You never wanted to date anyone. You only wanted to spend time with," he leaned forward, "your brother. And that night when you came out of the bathroom? It was all over your pretty little face."

"What do you want?" I asked again, trying to sound stronger. I failed.

Gavin inhaled through his nose, his eyes traveling over my body. "What do you think?"

"No. I refuse."

Something evil glinted in his eyes. "You'll fuck your brother but not me?"

I flinched. There had to be a way out of this. "I'll tell your wife."

His laughter turned my stomach. "Sweetheart, if you think she'd care, by all means. And if you think I wouldn't tell everyone, you're delusional. You have much more to lose than I do. Much." His hand touched my knee again. This time, I was too frozen to pull it away. "We're going to have fun together." Grimacing, I finally found the strength to separate my skin from his. His faux mirth faded and something cold took its place. "Don't act like you're not a whore, Addison. That becomes very boring."

I heard my mother's honied voice calling me a whore. "Fuck you."

Gavin got up and tossed his business card on the table. "My number is on there. Call me when you're ready." He put his hand on my shoulder with gentle pressure as he walked past. "Don't wait too long."

*****

By the time I got home, my shaking stopped. I was tired, so tired.

So, Gavin knew. No matter what I did, he would tell. I knew that in my core. I would never be safe from him. He would use my body, degrade me, humiliate me, then expose me. It wouldn't be enough until I was dust crushed beneath his feet.

My brother came home that evening in a bad mood. He threw things around and muttered under his breath. When he came into the living room, he looked between me and the bottle and shook his head.

"Rough day? Couldn't find an apartment?" He took the bottle from me and drank.

"Gavin Holmes knows," I said.

Beau carefully placed the bottle down and sat beside me. He took a while to speak. "How do you know?"

"He confronted me in the coffee shop. Has a picture of us kissing in the alley."

He rubbed his face and let out a great sigh. "I'm sorry, baby." He put his arm around me. "It's my fault."

I jumped up, tired of talking about blame and guilt, and paced the floor. "You know what? I'm not. I've been resisting and resisting, and for what? You've been right all along."

"That's not you talking. That's this." Beau held up the bottle and shook it. "You don't want me."

"Damn it, Beau, I want you so bad that it hurts, and I don't even care because it's the best kind of hurt I've felt in my entire life. I've only been drinking for the courage to say this to you. I'm not even that upset he knows, except that I know it'll hurt people we care about."

My brother wasn't listening. He stared at a spot above my right shoulder and tuned out my words. "I can guess what he wants. I'm going to beat the shit out of him."

"Beau, you aren't listening to me." His eyes drifted to mine. "I am not fighting this anymore. I'm giving in to you. I don't care if you're my brother. You're everything I care about in this whole miserable fucking world."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Don't patronize me. Not now."

He grasped the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "I refuse to let you do this and then hate me for the rest of our lives. Where would we go? What would we do?"

"Sell the house to Daddy. Let him rot here. Let the whole place rot."

My brother stared into my eyes for a few heartbeats. Then the lust drained from his face, and resignation softened his lust. "No. Not like this, Addison."

Rational thought flooded back into my head, and I just felt embarrassed. I didn't dare reach for him again.

"Thank you," I eventually murmured. I didn't have to say for what.

Beau nodded once. Then he sighed. "We're going to have to leave town. Gavin is a nasty fucker. He's never going to let this go."

"I know."

"Everyone is probably going to find out."

"I know that, too."

He took my hand. "Okay." He kissed my fingers and shut his eyes. "Okay."

*****

Victoria's wedding was to be our last goodbye. We had packed up most of the important things we wanted to keep from the mansion, and Daddy's fat check sat in Beau's bank account. We didn't know what would happen to us once we left our town, and I knew that Beau feared I'd go back to not speaking to him again. I didn't know what I was going to do with my brother, but I couldn't contemplate that yet.

We planned on slipping away in the night, maybe even turning into some kind of legend if Gavin opened his mouth. In reality, we figured our absence would render Gavin impotent and he'd find a new target.

We had no idea what was in store.

*****

Victoria looked beautiful. "You are absolutely glowing," I told her, adjusting her veil before she made her grand entrance in the church. "My beautiful best friend."

The ceremony made me tear up a bit. It was just like Victoria: understated but elegant.

Beau watched me from the pew, and I felt his presence acutely. I wanted to run away with him right then and there, but it was too soon. I owed Victoria this. She had always been so good to me.

The reception started off innocently enough. Glasses of champagne were passed around, toasts were made, tears were shed. Then I felt cold all of a sudden, like something beastly had entered the room.

My eyes connected with Gavin's and I froze. I hadn't realized he'd been invited, but I should have guessed it. Though Victoria now despised him, she always referred to him as the "mayor". It would have looked odd if he wasn't in attendance. I was so stupid in not preparing for it.

I knew from the way he walked toward me he intended on doing me harm. My head spun around, desperately looking for Beau, but it was too late. Gavin's cold fist encircled my wrist and squeezed. He dragged me into the dark corner as the music pulsed around us.

"Did you honestly think I was going to let it go?"

"No," I whispered.

"I heard you two are selling the mansion. How fucking quaint. I wanted that mansion, by the way. That was going to be the next thing I asked from you."

"You were never going to quit. I knew that."

Alexandra, Victoria's mother, spotted us in the corner. Her smile faded when she saw the obvious tension between us. She made her way through the dancers.

"Everyone is going to find out about you. How filthy you are, you bitch." The stench of alcohol rolled off of him. He was wasted.

"Let me go." I elbowed his ribs, but his hold only became tighter.

"Gavin?" Alexandra called over the music. "What's going on over here?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Everyone will." He let me go and disappeared into the crowd.

"Sweetie, what is going on?" Alexandra asked, her hand wiping away my tears. She said more, but I couldn't hear her. She left me, presumably to track down Gavin.

The whispers started, then grew across the room like an approaching wave. People stared.

I was left adrift. I turned toward Victoria. She whispered something to her new husband, then glanced at me like I was a stranger. She looked sick. Beau appeared from wherever he was, shadows darkening his face. His eyes found me and burned from across the room. They knew. Everyone knew. In seconds, Gavin had destroyed our lives.

Alexandra was suddenly before me, snapping her fingers to get my attention. She was frantic. "It's not true, tell me it's not true."

My heart plummeted to my feet. Everything stopped, even the music, as the crowd on the dance floor parted for Gavin. The people sitting at tables stood, and their whispering grew. Beau collided with him and the two rolled around on the floor, punching each other. Beau was stronger and furious; Gavin didn't have a chance. Eventually, groomsmen pulled them apart. The two men heaved and glared at one another.

"What's the matter, Beau?" Gavin laughed before erupting into a series of coughs. When he caught his breath, he laughed again. He was a bloody mess. "Afraid I might spill some more secrets?"

"Shut the fuck up." Beau's gaze found me. He looked terrified.

"Like how you used to fuck Victoria all the time while Addison was gone?" Gavin hiccuped and then looked over at Victoria, whose horrified mouth was wide open. "Not so innocent, either, Vic." He freed himself from the men holding him and adjusted his suit. Then he approached me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You could have been special, Addison. I always thought you might be, but I was dead wrong and now everybody knows it. I'd rather be wrong that fuck my own brother."

*****

I would never learn how I got back to the mansion that night. Someone must have called me a cab. Beau never came home, and I didn't even notice. I was lost in my own world, tumbling down my own nightmare version of a rabbit hole.

The sun rose, but I didn't.

Eventually, Beau returned, slinking into the room like I might not notice. The vodka I held spilled over my shaking hand.

"Is it true?" My voice sounded horrible, even to me.

Beau grimaced, but answered. "Yes. I've... slept with her before. Only twice."

"Why?"

I could tell by the way his eyes lit up that he was encouraged I was asking questions. "Because it was the closest I could get to you."

I drank deeply at my vodka, then shakily reached for the bottle and poured more. "That's sick."

"I know. I'm sorry." He slowly sat on the chair across from me. "Do you hate me?"

"I've always wished I could. It would make things a lot easier." I finished the glass. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I?" He drank straight from the bottle. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," I said. Of course I forgave him. I knew the throbbing loneliness and emptiness that plagued me while I was apart from Beau. I, too, sought to fill it with other people. I used them, but it was never the same. I couldn't begrudge Beau his own method for dealing with the grief of my absence.

He took me into his arms, letting the vodka fall to the floor. "I love you. Only you. It's only ever been you."

"I know," I whispered.

We packed the last little things and piled them into the car. When we finished, the sky was burnt orange and shadows draped themselves over everything around us. It drizzled lightly over us, but the clouds rolling in promised a heavier downpour soon. I was anxious to leave; I felt that our nightmare wasn't over yet.

"That's it," Beau said when the last box was in his car. He touched my face. "I just need to run in and get my phone and then we can get the hell out of here."

"Hurry," I pleaded. That horrible, gnawing fear gripped me and wouldn't let go.

He ran back inside the mansion. Cold wind swirled around me and I rubbed my shoulders, looking around me. I was positive something was watching me.

A car drove up the lane, speeding and swerving. I jumped back and spun around to get Beau, but I tripped over a rock and landed on my knees. Little pebbles embedded themselves in my skin and blood poured from my wrist. I was immobilized, but I tried to drag myself to the door.

It was too late for me.

Someone grabbed my hair and twisted it painfully until my neck was stretched backward. Gavin's leering face peered down at me.

"Still here? I'm surprised."

"Leave us alone," I tried to say, but I couldn't form the words. What was taking Beau so long?

"Mm, I love when you beg, Addison. I thought I might." He pulled me up with one arm, laughing when I tried to resist. "Sweetheart, give it up. We're going to have some fun tonight and then it'll all be over. Don't you want that?"

"F-fuck you."

Gavin's nose touched mine. "Oh, you will. You will." I opened my mouth to scream for Beau. Gavin lifted his other arm and let me see the gun in his hand. "I'll use it and no one will care. I'm the most important person in this town. People love me. They see you for the trash you are now."

He dragged me to the house, whispering about all the things he was going to do to me.

Beau was running down the stairs when we entered the great hallway. I'll never forget his expression until the day I die: utter devastation, smeared with fear. Gavin lifted his arm and pulled the trigger, but I didn't hear the gun go off. I didn't hear anything over my screams. Beau sank onto the steps, his mouth opened to say something. Then he tumbled down the last few stairs, falling into a bloody puddle at the bottom. I tried to run to him but Gavin yanked me back.

"As I was saying, you and I are going to have some fun and that doesn't include your brother, sadly for you." He forced me past Beau, who appeared to still be breathing, and up the staircase. He laughed again at my whimpering. I could feel blood trickling down my legs from my cuts, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but saving my brother.

He found my bedroom first and shoved me onto the bed. It was black outside now, so Gavin reached for the light. "Let me show you what it's like to fuck a real man," he said. Then he was on top of me, his slippery mouth dragging itself all over my body. I kicked and punched, but he was stronger and determined to finally own me. He ground his hardness against me, spreading my legs with one hand. He put the trigger of the gun against my forehead. "Enough fighting."

"Please don't do this, Gavin!"

Gavin's hand snaked over my body and squeezed a breast. "I always knew it would end up this way: you under me, begging." His teeth flashed white between his lips and he pushed against me with his hips. "I'm going to tear you apart, Addy, until you're nothing but a broken fuck toy."

I stared at the blue walls as Gavin fondled me, promising all other kinds of horrors. I prayed to Beau, to Daddy, to God. I even prayed to Mama.

The wind knocked open the windows, startling Gavin. He nearly fell off the bed. Loud gusts blew in, blowing everything that wasn't heavy enough around.

Gavin nudged the gun against my temple. "I'm getting up to close that fucking window. Do not make me chase you. Understood?"

I nodded. He got up, casting one suspicious glare over his shoulder, and then secured the window. I bolted up and for the door, but he was too fast.

"Damn it! I really don't want to shoot you before I fuck you," he panted, propelling me toward the bed once again. "You're making this difficult. I'll tie you up if I have to, Addy. Don't doubt it."

Tears covered my face. No one was going to save me, and Beau was downstairs likely bleeding to death. I had to find a way to get us out.