Lie Easy

"Thank you!" called out the old man through his open driver's seat window, having never left the car.

"You okay to drive, sir?" Jack asked him.

"I am if I don't have to swerve to avoid any more deer! Thanks again!" As soon as they had the strap undone, he roared off, not even pausing to roll his window up.

"Have you seen any deer?" Jack asked the two women as the oncoming traffic picked up, several of the drivers honking their thanks.

"Not a single one," said one of them. "I hope he isn't going far."

"I'd better call the cops, just in case," Jack said. As Mr. Chandler was stumbling to his feet and looking like a real risk to wander into the traffic on the other side of the road, Jack looked to him and then to the women. "I hate to ask you this..."

"We'll help you," one of them said.

"Least we can do!" agreed the other.

Within a minute or so, they had Mr. Chandler -- his clothes now caked with snow -- settled again in the passenger seat. As Jack waved his thanks to the women and put the SUV back in gear, he said, "If you need to throw up again, open the window, okay? I don't mind the snow, but you'll never get that smell out."

"Yes drill sergeant!" Mr. Chandler snapped.

He didn't get sick again, but he also kept up his rude babbling for the rest of the ride. Fortunately, it was only another two miles or so before Jack gratefully pulled up to the old ranch house he knew so very well. "Please tell me you've got your keys with you, Bob," he said.

"What d'you think I am, a drunk?" Mr. Chandler pulled the keys out of his pocket and waved them in Jack's face. "Now I'll ask again, how do I get back to my car tomorrow?"

"I'll cross that bridge when it collapses," Jack said. "Merry Christmas, Bob."

"I sure wish you'd learn how to have one, Jack!" Mr. Chandler stumbled out into the snow, his keys clutched in one hand, and promptly fell down three steps onto his front yard.

It was all Jack could do not to roar off without waiting to see if he got inside, but he managed to cool his heels and watch as Mr. Chandler managed to get to his feet and stagger the fifteen feet or so to his front door and fumble with the keys and finally get the right one in the lock and turned. Satisfied at last that no one was going to freeze to death on his account, Jack swung the SUV around and headed back for town.

The going was even slower this time, as the snow seemed to be getting heavier by the minute, and Jack knew he really ought to just drive straight home. But he'd been thinking all through the miserable trip about that free burger Anthony had offered him, and worst case, he could walk home from O'Kelly's.

When Jack got back to the bar, Anthony had gotten to know his friends by the window, who had long since finished their dessert. "Jack, this is Maggie and her son Randy," he said as he settled Jack at the table next to theirs. "I'm afraid they've had some car trouble."

"I have a cousin here and I called and left a message with her this morning," Maggie explained. "Right after our car broke down. But she hasn't answered, so we've been camping out here, abusing Anthony's hospitality."

"Don't be silly!" Anthony said. "You guys are great company. And Jack is, too. Now how do you want that burger, Jack, and what do drink with it?"

"Medium well and a diet coke, please," Jack said. Turning back to Maggie and Randy, he said, "Terrible time to be stuck out here. Have you got a place to stay if you don't hear back from your cousin?"

"I guess we can get a hotel room," Maggie said. "Unless the mechanic gets our car running."

"Even if they do, it's no weather to be driving in," Jack said. "I just had to pull some poor guy out of the ditch just now. Tell you what, I've got two spare rooms at my house..."

"Oh, we couldn't!" Maggie said.

"Sure you could. Who wants to be stuck in a hotel at Christmas anyway? That sounds like purgatory if you ask me."

"We've been there before, and it kind of is," Randy said.

"Thanks a lot, Randy!" Maggie protested.

"I didn't mean it that way, Mom! But really, did you enjoy it either?"

"He does have a point," Maggie sighed. "Are you sure you don't mind, Jack?"

"My housemate Kathleen and I were just planning on a quiet night watching TV anyway," Jack said, hoping the presence of another woman would set Maggie's mind at ease.

Evidently it did, for she said, "Well, if you're sure."

"I've said I am, haven't I?"

Jack wolfed down the burger and fries, and Maggie offered to pay for them, but Anthony insisted it was on the house. "He's saved us an awful lot of trouble, and probably a few lives," he explained.

"So I've heard," Maggie said. "Sorry, Jack, but we've been sitting here for hours and you do hear things in a small town, don't you?"

"I know all too well," Jack admitted. He stood up and offered Maggie a hand to help her to her feet. As she stood up, he couldn't help but take note of her beautiful full figure and long red hair streaked here and there with elegant silver. No doubt she would be a welcome guest for the movie marathon!

She bent over to pick up a huge rucksack that she'd stashed under the table, but Randy got it first. "I'll take care of it, Mom," he said. To Jack he explained, "We weren't sure if we'd get back to the car before tomorrow."

"If then," Maggie added. "This has happened before. When we get back to the city, I'm planning on giving that heap a one way ticket to the junkyard.

"At least you came well prepared with your packing there," Jack said, holding the door open for them to step outside and waving farewell to Anthony.

"I've been telling Randy since the day he was born, just think of your mother as an Irish refugee who brought half of Ireland with her," Maggie said.

Jack laughed, glad to have something to talk about other than his heroism. He'd learned long ago that it did no good to tell anyone he just saw himself as a good citizen doing his part. Nevertheless, he was delighted when Maggie helped herself to the passenger seat, where he could steal an occasional glance at her on the ride home. "Sorry it's wet," he said. "Our old friend Mr. Chandler had a little adventure out in the snow on the way home."

Maggie showed no sign of discomfort. "That poor man! Bless you for getting him home safe."

"This time, anyway," Jack said.

Even the short drive back to his house was slow going in the heavy snow. "I'm really kind of glad the car broke down, Mom," Randy said from the backseat.

"You know we wouldn't have left if it weren't necessary, honey," Maggie said. Turning to Jack, she said, "Sorry to be cryptic."

"You don't owe me an explanation," Jack reassured her, though he was bursting with curiosity as to just what had forced them onto the road on such a lousy day for traveling.

"Oh, this is gorgeous!" Maggie said as Jack turned off the road and gunned the SUV slowly up the driveway. "Picture perfect!"

"And a little lonely, too," Jack said. "Glad you could join us."

"Aww." Jack couldn't tell for sure if Maggie was being sincere or sarcastic.

The former, apparently, for Randy piped up, "You and my mom have a lot in common, Jack."

"Well, I'm sure glad to hear that," Jack said as he pulled into the garage. He did his best not to read anything into Maggie's broad smile in response to his comment, but he certainly welcomed it.

"Kathleen?" he called as they bustled into the kitchen. "We've got company!"

"Thank God you're home!" Kathleen said as she burst in from the living room. "That took a lot longer than I thought it would." Seeing Maggie and Randy, she added, "Oh, hi, I'm Kathleen."

"The housemate," Maggie said, looking a bit surprised at Jack.

"That's right," Jack said. "Kathleen, they're going to spend the night here while their car is being fixed. Let's go turn on the radiators in the extra bedrooms." To the guests he explained, "We keep them turned off since we never use those rooms."

"Thrifty," Maggie said. "A man after my own heart."

Kathleen knew Jack well enough to read plenty into his grin in response to that. But she was surprised to see it all the same.

Upstairs, Jack opened the first bedroom past Kathleen's, and invited Randy to drop the rucksack at the foot of the bed as he turned the valve on the radiator and the first promising crackles rang out in the pipes. "You'll probably want a shower after sitting in the bar all that time," he said. "The bathroom's right across the hall." He led them across the hall and turned on the light in the spacious upstairs bathroom, which he had optimistically had outfitted with an extra-large shower stall with two faucets; to date, he hadn't had any cause to use it, and neither had Kathleen that he knew of. Only she used the upstairs bathroom anyway, as he had one in his bedroom downstairs.

"Lovely, Jack," said Maggie. "I certainly would like a shower right about now."

Kathleen had found two towels in the linen closet. "Here you are," she said.

"I'll go get the radiator started in the other bedroom," Jack said. He stepped down the hall, expecting Maggie to follow him, but instead she and Randy both returned to the first bedroom and shut the door. That gave both Jack and Kathleen pause, and they exchanged surprised looks from opposite ends of the hallway, but said nothing.

The second radiator took Jack longer to fix, as the valve was stuck. By the time he had it running, he heard the shower going across the hall. When he stepped back into the hallway, neither of the guests was anywhere to be seen, but he heard laughing in the bathroom.

Kathleen was still standing by the stairs. When Jack got to her, he asked, "Are they..."

"Showering together!" Kathleen burst into embarrassed giggles. "She is his mother, isn't she?"

"Whatever floats your boat, I guess," Jack said.

"I actually think it's kind of sweet," Kathleen said as they stepped downstairs. "I mean, not that I'd ever shower with my dad or anything, but I wish were that comfortable with him. He raised me himself, you know, from the time I was four years old. We're close, but...not like that!"

"I didn't know that about your father," Jack said. "Good for him, though. Looks like he did a good job. Listen, want some hot chocolate?"

"I'd love some."

"Could I bother you to heat up the milk while I shower as well? I had a messy time towing a car on that run."

"Sure, Jack."

As gorgeous as Kathleen was, Jack had always been a perfect gentleman in her presence, and hadn't given any thought to her as anything but a housemate. With the taboo being broken upstairs, for the first time he found himself imagining her in the shower up there instead, or joining him for his. By the time he had his clothes off, he was unsurprised to find himself hard, and his thoughts switching to Maggie. How he'd like to be in Randy's place right now!

He didn't want to waste any time or keep the guests wondering once they were showered and dressed, but then the image of Maggie's bare body in the steamy water didn't have him wasting any time getting himself off. An image of Kathleen flickered on and off in his imagination as well, now that the ice was broken. It didn't hurt to imagine, but it got him wondering if she ever did the same?

It was a quick shower, but Maggie and Randy were both dressed and downstairs when he returned. Kathleen was setting coasters on the coffee table when he walked in. "Thanks, both of you," Maggie said. "I feel a lot better now." She was freshly dressed in a delightfully bohemian ensemble of a multicolored peasant skirt, green tights and an angora sweater, while Randy was in a rugby shirt and sweats.

"Good, I'm glad." Even Jack could hear the twinge of discomfort in his voice, though it wasn't intentional.

Maggie chuckled and stood up off the couch. "Listen, I think I owe you both an explanation."

"It's none of our business," Jack said, sitting down in his favorite armchair.

"Yeah, but I know it looks weird," Maggie said, as she rather uncertainly retook her seat on the couch. "Randy's my godson, I'm his mother's cousin, and I raised him since he was two. His parents -- well, they had problems. I was poor, but at least I was there for him."

"I call her 'Mom' because she's really the only mom I remember," Randy added.

"We've always lived rough, and never had much room for privacy," Maggie continued. "So it's perfectly natural for us to shower together, because sometimes we had to if we both wanted any hot water."

"I just finished my first semester of college," Randy went on. "So we haven't had much time together anywhere until yesterday. Kind of my last chance to relive those fond memories of growing up, I guess."

"It's okay," Jack said. "Like I said, none of our business. But I will admit I was curious."

"Me too, but I think it's sweet," Kathleen added as she came in with a tray of four steaming mugs. "I'm really kind of impressed." Once the cocoa was served, Kathleen retook her seat in the chair by the window

"Well, that's not something I hear often from people who know our lifestyle," Maggie said. "But thank you."

"Not that a lot of people do know," Randy added. "I learned very early on to keep my mouth shut about it."

"You don't have to keep your mouth shut here," Kathleen said. "I was telling Jack just now, my dad raised me alone and I wish we could've been that comfortable with each other."

"Well there you go, Randy, there's one way we could've been worse off," Maggie said. "What if our genders were reversed? Imagine me trying to explain puberty to you then! I'm sorry you had to go through that, Kathleen!"

"Don't be!" Kathleen looked a touch indignant, Jack thought. "He was great about it all. He even had a designated female friend from college to help me with my first period, and he learned as much about it himself as he could."

"Oh, that's great," Jack said, touched by the unprecedented intimacy she was sharing.

"I am impressed," Maggie added. Then she laughed. "Listen to us! We just met you both and here we are sharing the most private things about our lives! I'm sorry if I've led us down some rabbit hole here."

"I don't mind if Jack doesn't mind," Kathleen said, looking across the way at Jack, who smiled to indicate that he didn't mind. "I've lived here for a year and Jack has always been the perfect gentleman, so I've kept things clean, but..."

"But we were both kind of intrigued at the shower thing," Jack said. "And Kathleen, I didn't know anything about your family history, not that you owe me an explanation."

"There's not a lot to tell," Kathleen said. "Mom ran off when I was little and Dad, well, he's my hero. And yes, he did a great job of teaching me about sex and the facts of life.

"Sounds like we all know our share about family troubles," Maggie said, and Jack was deathly afraid she was going to ask about his pictures of Crystal and the kids. But even she knew boundaries. Instead she said, "Isn't it great that we all found each other on a day like this!"

"If you've got to be stuck inside," Jack said with a proud look around his living room.

"It's great company to be stuck in," Kathleen added.

"Okay, now," Maggie said. "Now that you know our deepest secret, what about the two of you? Attractive young woman, ruggedly handsome man, living here together for a year -- anyone ever walk in on the other one in the shower?"

"Mom!" Randy looked aghast. But Kathleen and Jack both just looked at one another and laughed, and he relaxed.

"Never happened," Jack said. "I have a bathroom in the downstairs bedroom down the hall, and she uses the one you used upstairs."

"Oh, Jack, I have a confession," Kathleen said. "One time I was walking past your room on the way to the kitchen, and your door was ajar..." She dissolved into laughter, and was grateful when Jack joined in.

"Did you like what you saw?" Jack wasn't the least bit embarrassed, and he welcomed the roars of laughter that brought on from Maggie and Randy.

"Needed new batteries for my vibrator the next day," Kathleen replied with a saucy grin, which brought on still more laughs.

"I am truly flattered," Jack said.

"Anything you want to confess to with her?" Maggie asked.

"No," Jack said. "Sounds like I've been too much the gentleman for my own good."

"It's never too late to change," Randy said.

"Any time you want to leave your door ajar, Kathleen," Jack said.

"What have I started here?" Maggie said in mock distress.

"Exactly what you wanted to, I think," Jack said. "It's like you're setting up an invitation to play strip poker or something."

At that, all four of them looked at one another in bemused silence. "Well, it's not like we can go anywhere anytime soon," Kathleen finally said.

"Speak now or forever lose your modesty," Maggie added.

"I'll go get some cards." Jack got up and went to the kitchen, where he kept a deck on the breakfast table for playing solitaire. While he was there, he got a bottle of Kahlua from the liquor cabinet. "Thought this might help with any regrets we might have," he said as he set it on the table amidst the still mostly full mugs.

"I'm only nineteen," Randy confessed.

"We won't tell if you don't tell," Maggie said, opening the bottle. "Do you want a little?"

Randy nodded, and after a quick look at Jack and Kathleen, she added a bit to all four mugs.

There was talk of closing the curtains as Jack shuffled the cards, but as Kathleen noted, "The only way anyone could see us would be if they're tromping through our front yard."

"If they want that bad to see my pasty body, let 'em," Jack added.

Kathleen lost the first hand. "Serves me right with that peeping Tom story, huh?" she said as she pulled off one sock. As she did it, Jack busied himself with the next hand and Maggie took a sip of her cocoa, but Randy openly admired her with a grin, which Kathleen returned. Only nineteen...was he a virgin, she wondered? At that moment she decided she'd be happy to help him out of that before he left the house if he wanted.

Randy had a pair of fives on the next hand, and confidently lay them on the table...only to watch Maggie follow suit with a pair of queens, Jack with three deuces, and Kathleen squeaking by with a pair of sixes. "I thought I'd be naked and the rest of you still fully clothed for a minute there," she said, rubbing her bare foot enticingly.

"Oh, very well," Randy said, and he removed the single stud earring from his left ear.

"Oh, come on!" Maggie said. "Is that fair, guys?"

"I'd have done it if I were wearing any jewelry," Kathleen admitted. "And you're wearing earrings, aren't you, Maggie?"

"I'd forgotten," Maggie confessed, fingering the tiny gold hoop on her right ear. "I was all set to complain you all had an advantage, wearing two socks while I'm in tights, but I guess that evens things out a bit."

"Speaking of which," asked Jack as he shuffled the cards, "Are we playing gentleman's or cutthroat?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Maggie grinned. "I can't wait to see you in the buff, Jack."

Kathleen laughed. She wasn't sure if it was that she was thinking just like Maggie or if it was the embarrassing realization that she was the only one not wearing any rings or even a watch, but she could feel her panties getting damp already.

She did, in any event, hit a lucky streak for the next few rounds, keeping her other sock on while Jack lost his class ring, Maggie lost both earrings, and Randy his necklace. He looked over to see her grinning at him as he unhooked it, and returned the gesture. This time they both caught Maggie looking their way, and Kathleen was pleased to see she looked delighted at their flirting. But no one commented on it for now as Jack dealt the next hand.

This time Kathleen had little doubt her winning streak had run out, for her highest card was a nine. Sure enough, Jack had a king while Maggie and Randy both had pairs. "I hope you all like my ankles," she quipped as she pulled off her other sock and discarded it beside the chair.