Stock Ch. 19-33

Eric looked to Sean questioningly but with the women right there he couldn’t ask. Instead, he fished into his jeans pocket and pulled out a little velvet box. When Vanessa saw it and noticed Eric on one knee her eyes grew to the size of saucers, an audible gasp drew Elizabeth’s attention from her admirable hoard.

“Vanessa, I knew we’ve only been together for a few months but it feels like I’ve known you all of my life. I love you. I will love you to the ends of forever. Will you marry me?”

Vanessa’s eyes were filled with tears and joyous surprise. Eric opened the box, revealing a three-carat diamond solitaire clutched in a platinum setting. Vanessa didn’t say anything; she sobbed as she wrapped her arms around Eric’s neck. She was reduced to a blubbering mass of hugging and crying.

“Well, that’s the first time I’ve seen her without words,” commented

Elizabeth wryly. Elizabeth gave her friend a warm hug and joined in on the ecstatic screaming as they marveled at the exquisite ring as Eric placed it on Vanessa’s outstretched finger.

“Congratulations, Eric,” Sean said as he patted his friend on the back.

Eric leaned over and talked quietly while the women began planning the wedding. “I thought we were supposed to do this together, you and I.”

“I know,” Sean sighed. “I realized that my timing isn’t right. I don’t think ‘Liz and I are ready for it yet.”

Eric nodded. “If you want to talk about it, or need some advice, you can always count on me.”

“I know,” Sean replied and quickly changed the subject. “I take it I’m your best man?”

“You bet,” Eric grinned. “And I expect a top notch bachelor party!”

“Don’t worry. The formula’s pretty simple.”

“Plenty of booze and plenty of boobs,” they said in unison.

They noticed the two women glaring at them when they said it a tad bit louder than they had meant to. Eric tittered nervously as the women stared the men down.

“Don’t worry, Vanessa. Sean and I were just discussing, um, wedding plans.

Right, Sean?”

“Well, it does have to do with wedding traditions.”

Vanessa strode up to Eric. “In my office, now,” she commanded and then headed for their room. Eric hastily bundled up the presents and practically ran after his fiancée.

“Whipped!” Sean called after him.

“Oh, really?”

Sean turned to Elizabeth and was greeted with an imperious gaze. Sean’s mouth ran dry. She didn’t say anything, just turned around and walked steadily to their bedroom; her finger gestured for him to follow. Sean followed obediently.

Sean shut the bedroom doors behind him. It would be a long day and night before he would open them again.

Chapter 25

Warm sunlight slipped between the curtains and gently roused Elizabeth from a dreamless sleep. Her arm sluggishly drifted over to her boyfriend only to feel a cold vacant spot where he should have been. She cracked open her eyes only to see an empty pillow. Sean must have left for work early again. He had been doing that for the past two weeks and she missed having his warm arms wrapped around her in the morning. Inwardly, she was disturbed by his recent absences.

Once his three-week winter break was over, he came home later and later in the evenings and left early the next morning. They visited her parents as promised on New Year's and there seemed to be a strange tension among Sean and her parents. She could feel it but she couldn't quite figure out exactly what it was; perhaps it was the tightness in the corner of their eyes or how they steered around certain conversations. Sean and both of her parents were hiding something, what it was she had no clue.

When school started up again Sean's peculiar schedule began. The most noticeable change was in their lovemaking. Their passionate trysts seemed to lack a certain fire and they came less frequently. Her heart grew cold at the possibility that Sean had grown tired of her and now had someone else in his life. Was she doing something wrong? Was she not attentive enough to his needs? What was the problem?

Slowly, Elizabeth dragged herself out of bed. She brushed her teeth while she waited for the shower to warm up and then hopped in for a quick rinse to wake up. The hairdryer followed as she brushed out the tangles. She recalled how Sean always used to help her. He said he loved her hair and the way it smelled. Before she knew it Elizabeth was on the brink of tears. She was losing him! She didn't know how she knew but she did. She felt the same way with Charles before she discovered that he was having an affair with that big-breasted bimbo.

Quickly, Elizabeth caught herself before she went into hysterics. Her emotions shut down and the cold, calculating woman that saw her through her tumultuous divorce stepped forward. She went through a mental checklist of questions that helped whittle down her worries and give her a direction to follow. Her eyes flickered to the calendar. It was a Saturday. If Sean did indeed go to the lab then it was for extended research. He didn't go to work on the weekends before but this was his third Saturday in a row now. Elizabeth got dressed in a plain t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans then sped off in her car towards the university.

Elizabeth didn't remember the trip to campus; her mind was busy whirling through the possibilities of why the man she loved had changed. Was he going to cheat on her? No, he didn't have it in him to lie to her like that. Besides, she would know. Did she somehow hurt his feelings without being aware of it? That was a possibility considering how fragile he really was behind the noble exterior. Any armor has its weakness. Did he believe that he had done something to upset her? She couldn't be sure about that. The more questions she came up with and tried to answer, the greater her confusion. She pulled into the parking lot near the lab where he worked and paid the parking fee. Her eyes swept the lot but couldn't find his car. As she made her way to the laboratory she found his bicycle chained to a bike rack. That meant his car was back at his apartment and that he might not come home to her tonight.

Elizabeth quickly suppressed the rising panic of losing the man she loved. There was something wrong and she was going to get to the bottom of it. She planned on walking into the building and sneaking a peek at him to see what he was up to, but she found the front door locked. Elizabeth tried the side doors, the back doors and any other entranced she could find. She cursed quietly and stormed back to her car and sat behind the wheel, her mind grinding a way to her next step.

The frustrated woman turned on the ignition, drove to Sean's apartment building and quickly pulled into the parking lot. She turned her key in the lock and entered his apartment. Her eyes panned the living room with a practiced efficiency. Digging through a person's office was nothing new to her since she gathered all of her own evidence against Charles proving his infidelity during their divorce. She swept through the room inspecting everything. She drew a finger across his keyboard. It was clean. After almost a month of supposed negligence, the keyboard was clear of dust. He had been using it lately. She booted it up and scanned through his logs and files. She discovered nothing. Elizabeth went online and inspected the history for his Internet browser. What she found startled her.

The log showed that he had been using the computer every night since they returned from Seattle. The times showed that he left her place almost as soon as she fell asleep. On the list were web addresses for several psychologists as well as self help manuals on how to deal with traumatic experiences. She didn't know what to make of it but printed out a copy of the list for future viewing. She shut the computer down quickly and then Elizabeth made her way to his bedroom.

Sean's bedroom seemed undisturbed save the bed with its rumpled sheets. Gently, Elizabeth inspected the pillow and found only one furrow in it. She sighed, thankful that there was a strong suggestion that another woman wasn't involved. A quick inspection of the trashcan turned up nothing. Her eyes roamed the room. There was something different about the room. Elizabeth wasn't sure what it was but something had definitely changed. She took a calming breath and simply let the room come to her, fill her mind. It was a subtle thing, but if it weren't for the fact that she looked at it admiringly so often before she would never have noticed the difference.

Elizabeth's attention shifted to the walls. The mural with its intricate drawings that scrolled across the room always enchanted her. She stepped up to the aggressive lines and soft shadows; her hand caressed a hard smudge on the wall. The phoenix was marred. Sean's fingers must have pressed hard to have broken through the fixative that prevented the charcoal from rubbing off. He was disturbed by something; that much was clear. And it had something to do with her.

** *

Sean fished around in his pocket for his keys while balancing the pizza box in his other hand and finally managed to open the door to his apartment. He called Elizabeth earlier on her cell, telling her he would be staying late at the lab to work on his research. She sounded disappointed but accepted his excuse. With a pained effort he told her that he loved her before he hung up. He truly did, which was why he was having such a hard time with the impediments between them. He sighed and put down the warm, flat box on the kitchen table and headed for his room. When he flipped the switch in his room he found Elizabeth sitting on his bed waiting for him, worry etched on her beautiful face.

Sean's mind fumbled for a proper greeting. "What are you doing here?"

Elizabeth sat there quietly, not answering. For the first time, they experienced an uncomfortable silence that weighed on them like a heavy cloak. Sean noticed how calm her face was, the calm before the storm.

"Sean is there something that you want to talk to me about?"

"No," he answered a little too quickly. "Why?"

"Sean, give up with the masquerading, okay?"

Sean's mind spun in dizzying circles, unsure how to approach the issue at hand.

"No games, Sean," Elizabeth broke his train of though. "You said that we could always talk. I'm here, now. You haven't been talking to me ever since we got back from visiting my family. You stay late at night doing work and then leave right after I fall asleep. What's going on?"

Sean didn't think that Elizabeth would have noticed his leaving for the past couple of weeks. He was certain she was asleep before he left. Those beautiful brown eyes that he found so enchanting were now as hard as agates as they bored into him for the truth. His brain stumbled about in the dark. Never before had she trained those brilliantly intelligent eyes on him. Sean took a dry swallow.

"I should be asking you the same thing."

Elizabeth recoiled in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean how come you don't talk to me about your life with Charles while you were married. How come you don't speak to me about your nightmares? I'm not stupid. I know that those nightmares have to do with Charles. We've been together for nine months and sixteen days and you have yet to tell me why you wake up screaming on some nights and whimpering in your sleep during most of the other nights."

Now that he had gotten started the pain just flowed from him. "I love you, Elizabeth. You know I do. But damn it, this waiting on the sidelines and not being able to do anything is almost more than I can handle. I thought that you would eventually tell me, but now I'm not so sure. It makes me wonder just how much you really love or trust me."

There it was. He'd said it. The words were like a slap in the face to

Elizabeth; he could tell from the way she reacted upon hearing them. He was angry at her sorrow. Love is based on trust. The motto was plain and simple. But Sean wasn't sure just how much she really trusted him with her past. The ten years of her marriage were a complete blank to Sean. She never talked about it. It was the one unapproachable area that she never allowed Sean to enter.

"I love you, damnit. But waking up in the middle of almost every night crying is getting to be too much. I know Charles hurt you. And every night I hear him hurting you. I hate seeing you in so much pain. I want to help but you won't let me in. I need to know if I am ever going to help you."

"You're doing enough by just being there for me."

"I am impotent in that respect. I'm doing nothing because you won't tell me. My love is useless to you unless you tell me. Tell me!"

Sean was crying now, the pent up frustration finally blowing out of him like a balloon. Elizabeth's face raced through a marathon of emotions before turning into pained anger.

"You want to know?!"

"Yes!"

Her words spilled out of her mouth in an angry torrent. "You want to know how he beat me after I first confronted him about his affair? How he tied me up in bed and forced himself on me while he was drunk? How he raped me? How later he called in his friends and let them take turns with me. How I lived with that for two FUCKING years?!"

She was standing up now, her hair in wild disarray as tears streaked down her cheeks. "You want to know how he killed my first unborn baby when he brutalized me in bed? How he...How he..."

Elizabeth was sobbing now, her fists beating ineffectually on Sean's broad chest as he held her. Nothing could have prepared Sean for that. He clutched her tightly to her as if to absorb her into his body to keep her safe forever. Tears poured down his face as he held the quivering mass of hysterical fear that was the woman he loved. Raw terror and grief poured over both of them as they held each other, trying to hold the other afloat in a sea of sorrow.

Sean thought of what had happened to the woman he loved. The woman he prized more than anything else. Two years of that hell, he thought numbly. He could never come close to imagining how horrible that period must have been or how she quietly carried that burden for over a year after she escaped. Three years of silence. Three years of bad memories and nightmare. Three years of the secret death of her unborn child.

And Sean thought he had a troubled past. This woman, this wonderful woman who had been through so much still had the strength to help pull him out of his own pain. Sean gripped her tightly in his arms. He held her for over an hour as Elizabeth drained herself of grief that had been held back far too long.

Eventually, Elizabeth calmed and shivered in his grip. She lifted her face from his shirt that was soaked through with the salty, bitter product of her sorrow, and looked at him pleadingly. Sean looked at her puffy red eyes; so weak, so vulnerable. He leaned down and kissed her. It was a desperate embrace, a fusion of sorrow and relief, of fear and love. Their lips burned with raw emotions. There were millions of billions of words to describe what passed between but all would have been inadequate.

Sean cradled Elizabeth in his arms and led her to bed. She fell asleep in his arms within seconds.

Sean held her all night as he planned his justice.

Chapter 26

Slowly, Sean awoke to the smell of pizza wafting in from the kitchen. He rolled out of the warm sheets and brushed his teeth while absently scratching his head. After finishing up in the bathroom, Sean followed his nose to the delightful aroma of breakfast. He was greeted with the sight of Elizabeth bent over as she fished through his refrigerator. She had worn one of his t-shirts for pajamas. Sean smiled at the pleasant view and snuck up on his girlfriend, while she was preoccupied with perusing his groceries. He lifted the tail of the shirt, the sudden draft startled Elizabeth and she leapt up in the air in surprise.

"What the…" she howled as she spun around.

Sean chuckled and wrapped his arms lovingly around her waist. "It looked like you weren't wearing anything under that shirt. Just checking to satisfy my curiosity."

"Curiosity killed the cat," she warned him, but his grin was too infectious and soon had her smirking as well. "Well, did you find your answer?"

"I'm not sure," Sean answered slyly as he palmed her naked bottom. "You jumped before I could get a good look. I think I may have to inspect a little more thoroughly."

Sean closed the refrigerator as he leaned in for a good morning kiss. Elizabeth was more than willing to oblige and slipped in a little tongue as well. "Mm. Good morning to you, too."

Sean grinned when he remembered what brought him here. "Is that pizza I smell?"

"Yes. You left it on the kitchen table last night. I thought I'd warm it up in the oven for you."

"Pizza for breakfast? I knew there was a reason I loved you."

Elizabeth barked in laughter. "You really are incorrigible. Go sit. I was just about to pour some juice."

Sean did as he was told and sat down on the hard wooden chair. After living at his girlfriend's house for so long, his own apartment seemed rather crude and uncomfortable. Sean sighed; she spoiled him.

Elizabeth brought the pizza out from the oven and slipped the steaming disk on the table. She poured them each a tall glass of orange juice, set them on the table and then she sat in his lap. This was their preferred seating arrangement. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a peck on the cheek as they both pulled slices from the plate.

"Mmm… I'm starving," Sean commented as he finished his slice in a few quick gulps. "I just realized that I didn't have dinner last night."

A lot happened last night, Sean thought. He gave Elizabeth a gentle hug with his left arm as he recalled her ranting. What she told him invoked a rage that he had never felt. If it weren't for the helpless woman in his arms he might very well have sped off into the night and dealt out his own brand of fatal justice. Thinking of it even now woke the dragon. Exhausted sleep had finally claimed him and he awoke refreshed with a different perspective on things. Oh, Charles would be getting his due but killing him would be letting the bastard off too easy.

"Let it go, Sean," Elizabeth said, breaking his train of thought.

"Hmm?"

"I can see the wheels turning in your head," Elizabeth responded accusingly. "Getting back at Charles isn't going to solve anything. Just leave him alone and he'll leave us alone."

"He hasn't left you alone yet, has he?"

Elizabeth turned her hurt expression away. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Then when? When will it ever be the right time to talk about it?" Silence rang out between them. "That's exactly the problem. You never talk about it although you need to." Sean sighed. "You must seek professional help, Liz. I can't do this alone."

For the first time ever Sean admitted that he was out of his league. Ever self-sufficient, the man was willing to give up his self-styled independence for the woman he loved.

Elizabeth looked at him almost frightfully as she considered her options. She didn't want to visit a shrink. To tell a total stranger what had amounted to two years of hell was beyond her. Again she looked at Sean. He was her pillar of strength. Simply telling him had helped beyond words. She valued his advice and admired his strong sense of self. Also, she understood his willingness to give up some of that independence for her sake. She had seen the man act as stubborn as a mule with other people but he always bent when she needed him to, always for her. She came to a decision.

"Alright," she whispered. "For you I will. I'd do anything for you,

Sean."

Sean gave her waist another gentle squeeze. They leaned their heads

together as they ate.

***

Sean watched as Elizabeth pulled into her driveway and he followed suit in his own car. They decided earlier for Sean to move more of his things to her place, he practically lived there anyways. The two lovers got out of their cars and Sean wrapped an arm around Elizabeth's slender hips. They opened the door and stood speechless at the disaster that greeted them.