Woman's Guide to Male Panty Fetish

My friend Randy and I have 50 years of combined first hand experience with the ever popular fetish for panties. Randy and I have had numerous discussions about women's underwear and the thread that connect this simple, yet complicated, garment to male sexual arousal. We came to the undeniable understanding that most women don't realize the power they possess simply by virtue of their panties. Let me explain.....

Those women that think there's nothing special about their underwear are either naïve, or deeply mis-informed. Our society has taken definite steps to elevate the female panty to a level where no other piece of clothing has ever been, and the proof of that fact is right in front of us every day. Whether you refer to it as underwear, foundation, lingerie, under pants or panties, you can't walk into a mall without seeing one of those specialty stores with numerous pairs of sexy panties on the mannequins in the store windows. Department stores have lingerie displays that are eye-appealing and spacious, all touting panties of different types, colors and fabrics – literally hundreds of pairs all out in the open for everyone to see and touch. While, on the other hand, male underwear is usually on one rack in the men's section, probably hidden against the wall.

In magazines, you can see eye-popping ads of women in their panties. On TV, we are treated to the yearly V.S. lingerie show, and on the internet – a woman in her panties is considered tame and even acceptable. You can go to any beach or swimming pool and you'll notice that swimsuits are emulating lingerie very closely.

So even though underwear, in the strict sense of the word, is meant to be worn under our outer clothes (ie, covered by our outer clothes), the reality of the situation is that women's underwear is most definitely meant to be seen..... and enjoyed. If that wasn't the case, then why aren't women's panties thick, plain, white cotton like men's briefs? If panties weren't meant to be seen, then why are they colorful, soft and sexy, with intricate designs and fabrics? What would be the reason for sheer and transparent panties if no one was ever going to see them? And what would be the use for crotch-less panties?

My point is this: women's panties have transgressed the boundaries of simply being underwear. They are a statement of sensuality, femininity and sexuality, and they are clearly meant to be seen and enjoyed by both women and men. Once one can accept the fact that panties are more than just underwear, then we can get into the real meat of the subject at hand – the male panty fetish.

Now, ladies – you can't blame us men for being attracted to your panties. The truth here is two fold. First, we (men) have been trained to accept the fact that your underwear is special. Second, if you didn't want us to be interested in your panties, you would be wearing those "Sensible" cotton things your mom bought you years ago and we (men) would hardly ever see them. The fact that you have a drawer full of soft, silky and sexy delicates is proof that you bought them for just one reason – to get us to look at them and to turn us on.

I could spend days defending an argument supporting the thesis that panties went from being undergarments no one ever saw to sexual apparel, but for the sake of discussion, let's just accept the fact that women's panties are intended to excite. So, that being said, the question really becomes: "How will women use the sensual power of their panties in their relationship with men?"

There's one thing I want to throw out there – even before we get into this any deeper, and it's directed to those women whose boyfriends, lovers, husbands, or significant others have already hinted, or maybe even told you, they have an interest in your panties. And that is – don't ignore it. I promise you that when a man has told you they have an interest in your panties, they thought about it considerably before they told you. They agonized over it, considered your reaction and even weighed the chances of you being totally disgusted with their panty interest, but they took the chance you would understand and be willing to at least discuss and consider it.

No man ever approaches a woman to tell her that he would like to have access to her panties without considering the consequences. I'm sure when first approached you might think it's gross, unsanitary, kinky or even perverted. If you feel that way because you don't think you smell fresh, sensual or sexy down there, perhaps you should reconsider. While I don't think the majority of men have an interest in skid mark panties, your natural scent, secretions and juices are the very essence that turns us on. Believe me, we wouldn't ask if we weren't serious about it. So, ladies – if your man has approached you with a request regarding your panties, I urge you to be open minded about it. You'll be glad you did when you see the happiness in his eyes and experience the attention he will give you.

Now, for those women whose man hasn't verbally indicated an interest in your panties, take note of the following points to see if he has a potential panty fetish and how to make it easy for him to broach the subject with you, or how you can easily bring it up to him.

1)"How can I tell if my man has an interest in panties?" There are many indications that a man might have a panty fetish. Here are some classic signs you can look for:

- Do you see him looking in the display windows when you walk by the lingerie store?

-Is he agreeable or excited to go lingerie shopping with you?

-Has your man ever used the word "panty" or "panties" in regular, daily conversation more than you have?

-Does he make mention of the fact that he's had a peek up your skirt and seen your panties? Maybe someone else's skirt?

-Does your man ask you to keep your panties on when you go to bed, or when you have sexual relations?

-Does he watch you dress or undress?

-Does your man like to kiss, sniff, lick or eat you with your panties on?

-Have you ever seen him examine your panties after you've washed and dried them (either discretely or overtly)?

-Have you ever found your panties to be missing (either clean or worn), but then they suddenly reappear later?

-Have you ever felt that the laundry hamper seems to have been rummaged through?

-Have you noticed that your lingerie drawer isn't exactly how you left it?

-Have you ever discovered that your man has unexpectedly washed a load of your delicates?

-Has your man ever taken pictures of you in your panties?

-Have you ever caught him red-handed with your panties?

-Have any of your friends or relatives ever told you they lost a pair of panties while they were at your house/apt?

-Have any of your friends or relatives ever told you they lost a pair of panties after an instance where your man was at their house/apt?

-And of course..... has your man ever said anything that would lead you to believe he's got an interest in your panties?

2)"What kind of behaviors could I expect to see if my man does have a panty fetish?" Some behaviors could be subtle, and some could be obvious. Some behaviors could be completely secret, especially if he thinks you would chastise him for them. Here's some fairly common panty fetish behaviors:

-Fondling, stroking or handling panties

-Masturbating with, or stroking off into panties

-Sniffing, licking or sucking panties

-Stealing, borrowing or collecting panties from you, friends or relatives

-Collecting pictures of females in panties

-Shopping for panties

-Peeking up skirts

-And of course - wearing panties (Don't be shocked at this. It's not that uncommon and there are well documented, historical accounts of men wearing female undergarments as far back as the eighteenth century. As a side note here, you might be interested to search the internet for "Pinaforing" and "Petticoating").

3)"What can I do proactively to broach the subject of panties with my man?" There are many things you can do to create a safe and open environment to bring up or encourage a discussion of your man's potential interest in panties. Here's a few ideas:

-Leave a stack of your clean panties out for a day or so – as if you've simply forgotten to put them away after you washed and dried them – and see if he notices or comments about them.

-Ask your man if he wants to go lingerie shopping with you. Then, while you're shopping, ask his opinion to find out which colors, styles and fabrics he likes. Involve him and see how interested he is. Offer to model them for him.

-Leave a select pair of your worn panties on the floor in your bedroom, or a place where you know he'll find them. Pay special attention to see if they are disturbed, moved, or if they disappear.

-Ask your man to pick out which panties he wants you to wear, then praise his choice and let him see you in them.

-Ask your man to help you clean out your lingerie drawer. Then, ask him to show you which ones are his favorites – and then ask him why.

-Ask your man which type of panties he likes to see you wear – bikini, briefs, hipsters, boyshorts, full cut, thongs, etc. Then, show him you honor his preferences by wearing what he likes.

-Find a reason to walk around in front of him for an extended amount of time with nothing but your panties on below your waist.

-Surprise him by letting him see you touch yourself with just your panties on.

-Outright ask him if panties turn him on. If he replies with anything other than an immediate "No" you can ask clarifying questions to gently open the subject with him.

-Playfully, ask your man to wear a pair of your panties. Say it's just for fun and it will be a secret just between the two of you. See how fast or slow he either agrees or disagrees. If he agrees, praise him for his courage.

Okay, let's say after reading, considering and trying some of the ideas and suggestions above you find out your man might have some level of a panty fetish. What do you do then? Well, that's when you have to use your feminine intuition and wisdom. Let's face it, if your man does have a panty fetish – or even an above average interest in panties – you would be smart to at least understand it, learn how to allow it and how to use it in your relationship.

Understanding your man's sexual desires and needs is a key factor in keeping him interested and your relationship sexually healthy. Believe me, if you are sympathetic and understanding about his panty interest, he'll love you for it and he'll pay you back ten-fold for your kindness.

I feel obligated to tell you a brief personal story now – not because I think it's something you have to know, but, because I hope you can gleam something from the story that will give you some insight. Here goes:

I'm on my second marriage. My first marriage failed miserably. Not only did our relationship as friends fail, but our relationship as sexual partners failed, too. In fact, our sexual relationship failed almost from the very beginning, primarily (I think) because I've had a life long interest in panties. I made the mistake of telling her about it on our honeymoon. Unfortunately, she thought it was terrible, horrible and unforgivable that I wanted to covet her panties. It meant so much to me and I was courageous in telling her, but she ripped my heart out when she told me she would never allow such a perversion and if she would have known about it before our wedding – she would have never married me.

Yeah, okay – my bad. I should have told her before I proposed, or, at least before we were married. But, I didn't. We were eventually divorced and it was a messy, vindictive affair that drained me emotionally.

A few years later, I met a woman and we started dating. After a month or two, we started being intimate and I gathered up the courage to tell her about my panty fetish. She completely understood and was excited that I shared it with her. In fact, it became a foundation of our sex life and the openness it created allowed both of us to confidently discuss our desires and fantasies with each other. Now, years later, I have complete access to her panties any time I want it, and she even includes panties in our sex play without me having to ask.

I always go lingerie shopping with her, even though I hate going shopping. All she has to do to get me to go with her is tell me she might pick up a few pairs of panties – and I'm ready to spend all day with her. On top of that, she's allowed my panty fetish to flourish so that I'm free to wear them when I desire to, and she'll even take the initiative to dress me in them from time to time.

The point of my story is that her acceptance of my panty fetish has allowed our love to grow and set the tone of our sexual relationship to be accepting and considerate of each other's needs. Would I have kept dating her if I'd learned she couldn't accept my panty fetish? Not on your life.

Ladies, please don't slam the door shut on your man if he's got a panty fetish. You're only going to push him away and force him into behaviors behind your back. That's not going to do anything constructive for your relationship or your marriage, and it's only going to create an intimacy gap between you and your man.

I'm going to leave you with one last thought..... my wife told me once she was proud I had a fetish for her panties. She felt her femininity was confirmed and ratified, and she got off on the fact that I was so attracted to HER panties. "Most of all," she said, "I know this is something you desperately want, and I'm happy I can be the one to give you as much of it as you want."

Comments, suggestions, thoughts and questions are welcome.