- Erotic Poetry
- A pace or two ahead.
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Perhaps all our loves
are merely hints and symbols:
a vagabond-language,
scrawled there on gate-posts;
and on paving-stones, which lie
along weary roads
that others have tramped
before us; perhaps we are
types and this sadness,
which falls between us,
just springs from disappointment
in our straining search;
Perhaps we’re dreaming,
Snatching a glimpse, now and then,
of the shadow turns
that are all set to
perform on corners, always
a pace or two ahead.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerover 13 years agoYour poems always stretch my imagination, and I read them more than once. This is no different.
I think you missed an opportunity for a more powerful image than "types" in L9, e.g., "halved" or "cleaved," given what follows in L10.
LadyGenevieveover 13 years agoI always sense something when I read a work I've not read before. Within my own mind, I conjur memories of places and things that happened so long ago I've all but forgotten them. Personally, I absolutely love your poem.
vrosej10over 13 years agoThis is pretty damn well written. My only comment would be to ditch the semi colon on the fourth line and that occassional capitalisation at the head of the line or go completely capitalised; this midway thing calls attention to itself. You're getting a reccomendation.
