Ah Seline, Seline

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twelveoone
twelveoone
23 Followers

(Thank you, Keats, you are always an inspiration.)


Right! Over my shoulder, a low cuprous tone
Of Sol's salient demise illuminates blue slide
Of clear unsheltered skies. The moon a scythe of bone.

A gaunt grey matador stands grand before the scorn
Of Venus venom formed, she so transmogrified,
Spawned of sulfurous tome. A wit with razor borne.

Bright star so odious, horns of slivered moon,
In the infirmament of a starless black ovule,
A lone picador goads with dance from Grand Guignol --
Hell on a celestial scale. Spheres play a discordant tune.

Ah Seline, Seline, oh, no Shepard boy, I? I'm
Sick of your red overture, your black sundering air,
Sick of your palaver placed treacherous in time;
O vision paradisaical turned downside. Why care?


Signed,
Your toreador,
Expect a flower in the morning

twelveoone
twelveoone
23 Followers
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PoissonSurLaLunePoissonSurLaLuneabout 13 years ago
So I wanted to give this a bad review

'Cause you left a mean one on one of mine, but nope. It's a great poem, really nice formal approach, a lot of very striking imagery and wonderful command of rhythm. Seriously, read this one aloud. Feels perfect in the mouth.

SeattleRainSeattleRainabout 13 years ago
~

You take your craft seriously, twelve-o, and it shows. The moon visuals were brilliant, I never thought of the crescent moon in that ay before.

my little monsters are wanting breakfast. Thanks for sharing your poetry with us.

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
~

This is not to my taste but it is well written and obviously appreciated by people who know more about classical poetry than me and I can recognise the good stuff when I see it, so five. One thing I with give it is an A for euphony and I agree with the person who said it should be an audio. I think it is a poem meant to be read out (as mine are carefully written to be).

AngelineAngelineabout 13 years ago
Gets a five from me

I'm not sure I like the letter ending because that "Why care?" seems like such a perfect place to stop. I also am not wild about the alliteration, think I'd like it less in my face but maybe I need to read it more. Otherwise it's brilliantly discordant and funny, classical and post-modern all stewed together. It's also a wonderful example of sound being more important than theme or even meaning: I don't need to understand this or get all the references because the words just sound so good in my mouth.

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