Blackout

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115 words
4.4
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wakingDown
wakingDown
653 Followers

Memory

The basis for sentience
Foundation of character
Weaver of id and egos alike

Light

Shed on the mind bright
Showing these memories
As a warehouse of lifetime

Span

Every direction another aisle
Shelves upon shelves all full
In this limitless mindbourne maze

Blackout

One light at a time from the roof
Popping and blinking into dark
Hiding memories in timeless shade

Dim

Pieces lost one by one to dark
As blank blackness creeps further
Consuming every memory it touches

Decay

Effects of blackout begin so clear
Personality alters and warps
With erosion of mental foundation

Hollow

Just a husk with glass eyes blank
And a pointless frown permanent
Wordless staring at alien world

wakingDown
wakingDown
653 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
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5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I like the movement of this, start to finish, but I agree with 1201, could be pared down.

greenmountaineer

tazz317tazz317over 10 years ago
THE TITLE FITS THE ULTIMATE CONCLUSION

which is what we all have in common, TK U MLJ LV NV

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
5ed

re the structure, only supports so much

cut it back a little, to many, to many words, nice variation the one word as a span between blocks

just my take

DesejoDesejoover 10 years ago

This one doesn't feel done to me. The last three stanzas don't follow what I thought was being set up. Maybe I don't understand it.

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
Memories ....good , bad or neutral are only ...

Illusions in the Cosmic Web of Maya