Broken Boy

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Snarky tongued devil,
with a sharp edged wit-
Slicing away the thin skinned,
and amusing the courageous who
dare to come closer.

Rag doll boy, shall I call you Andy?
Tossed about-
becoming hard on the outside from
the filth you landed in.

No one to love you-
now, not sure how to be loved.
I see you more than you
want me to.

Pretty boy-
with your wounded eyes,
and duct taped heart.
Your body is one thing they
always wanted, isn't it?

You use sex well,
and know you more than tempt,
but I already have a lover,
what I want is a friend.
Does that scare you ? I think it does.

A twisting, crazy road you have walked-
sometimes crawled-
torturous maze with dead ends
and things that bite.

You found some peace
in your solitary home-
but locked still in the maze
as loneliness gnaws.

Which slapping hand taught you-
To need is shameful? To want is a bother?
Which stomping foot taught you-
To give always, but never take?

You won't reach out,
so I'll just grab your hand.
Reflex makes you pull away,
but I don't let go that easily-
My skin is thick from scarring too.

You confuse sympathy with pity-
empathy with bullshit.
How can I pity what I so deeply admire?
I show you my scars in hope-
that you will begin to scab.

Broken boy,
delightful misanthrope-
sit with me awhile
be still...
and just sit with me awhile,
I get lonely too.

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KOLKOREKOLKOREover 16 years ago
Vavum!

Sorry for my un-intellectual cry of joy, I just needed to do it. What a clear effective and efficient address to an age old theme of inter gender connection; vulnerabilities/ expectations; not to mention the tension built in by the not so hidden sexual tension attraction. I would have enjoyed even one concrete example to the dude's life's experiences, putting it down to earth a bit. Still, very very nice poem.

AngelineAngelineover 16 years ago
Love this poem!

It's very well written. I like the pacing and the images are clear and quite moving. I felt it could use some editing and that the ending is a bit sentimental--maybe it would pack more of a punch with a somewhat ambiguous ending. That's just my opinion though. All in all, teriffic writing. :-)

Your poem was recommended in the New Poem Review thread today on the Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum.

Angeline

lorencinolorencinoover 16 years ago

The subject matter of this poem is extremely interesting. It juxtaposes the possibilities of intimacy in a true friendship with the indifference of serial sex. It focuses on the value of apprehending the full person and experiencing life in all of its multiplicity and suggests the focussing on single aspects of life and a person leads nowhere.

<br><br>I have a lot of problems with the rhythm of the poetry, though. It seems out of sync with what is being said and jerky in places for no apparent reason. It needs to be worked on with an ear to the music it creates.<br><br>

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