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Click hereCome, take my hand and walk awhile with me!
I'll share the day with no one else in mind
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
You'll snuggle close as we walk towards the sea.
I'll cherish all the keepsakes that we find.
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me.
Your shouted laugh imprints my memory
and racing fast the sunlight makes us blind!
Our selfishness the gift we give for free;
my joy in you explodes in raucous glee
when seagulls scream at us though not unkind!
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me
as night descends we'll gather from the trees
the firelight that lets the day unwind,
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
The time we share is limited, you see.
We will not waste a glance at whats behind.
Come, take my hand and walk awhile with me
our selfishness the gift we give for free.
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 35,000 poems.
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I find I must agree with foehn's comment; it's right up there with Dylan Thomas' famous villanelle. But where is it written that strophe breaks must follow traditional form? As for the word I'm looking for ~~ perfection!
I need to read Spike's, but yours (in my opinion) betters Dylan Thomas' famous one.
For some idiotic reason, I missed the traditional stanza breaks; but they do camouflage (sp?) the repeating lines... which maybe is a good thing? Hmmmm.
As ever, you make me think and feel.
i really enjoyed reading this, very descriptive, and yet deep at the same time.
all the villanelles coming in rows
I learned what they are <grin> but this
was the instruction manuel, very very good.
'come walk awhile'
was mood setting and enchanting
excellent poetry~