Connivance

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107 words
3.67
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See how she looks and let your voice deny
All banal words with which she might concur;
For these are phrases, easy to supply
And have no moment; it will not occur
To her to note them down to paraphrase
Each clever nuance, (which they simply lack);
And she'll forget each utterance; your gaze
Will fade; so she will easily lose track
And may seek elsewhere for the certainty,
Which is invisible, save to the one
Who authors all her constrained ecstasy;
Her cool glance is enhanced; indeed, for some
It's mirrored in her thoughts, when they can hook
Attention which connives to match her look.

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4 Comments
buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
i echo the comment about

nice formatting. i wasn't expecting a sonnet, having been reading what i just have!

however, the bite of the write did feel more gummy as it went on. more form over substance, for me, i'm afraid SO. :flower:

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
~

I didn't get it but that might just be me.

ishtatishtatabout 13 years ago
11

Nicely constructed but 3 different 'a' sounds in the second line make a bumpy start. Maybe get rid of 'all' and start the line 'words banal'

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
*

maybe this is the verse refered too from the other poem. A 5, although I lost interest.