Desert Sunset

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81 words
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twelveoone
twelveoone
23 Followers

Whoa, wobbly clouds in flames,
fit end to such as these days.
As I nurse a scorpion's sting

I feel the temperature drop quick
as old paint fades away into dreams
that only horses will dream.
Shuddering though fingers of clouds
I watch the stars spin away.

The tall saguaros stand in silhouette
in gross pirouettes
of surrender

How can I close my eye to this,
how can I put the cap back on?

To-morrow I will number the dead

twelveoone
twelveoone
23 Followers
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8 Comments
seannelsonseannelsonalmost 13 years ago
hmm...

It's an intriguing poem with some very well done language. I like/understand some lines better than others, but really excellent on the whole. Did you mean "through fingers of clouds" or otherwise? I love "I watch the stars spin away"

twelveoonetwelveooneover 16 years agoAuthor
*

"As I read this I heard something by Ennio Marricone." You too, Bill? BB, "quick" I'm glad clanged.

bogusbrigbogusbrigover 16 years ago
*

Great to see you back posting.

One criticism or maybe it is the way I'm reading it, 'quick' at the end of the line 'I feel the temperature drop quick' rather clangs for me. Other than that, I really enjoyed the complex simplicity. ;-)

bb

Bill DadaBill Dadaover 16 years ago
^

As I read this I heard something by Ennio Marricone.

RhymeFairyRhymeFairyover 16 years ago
Beeee

utiful imagery, with a lot of feeling here. Almost showing a romanitic twist then you spin us out with dust in our eyes. Love it my friend ~

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