- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Desert Sunset
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Whoa, wobbly clouds in flames,
fit end to such as these days.
As I nurse a scorpion's sting
I feel the temperature drop quick
as old paint fades away into dreams
that only horses will dream.
Shuddering though fingers of clouds
I watch the stars spin away.
The tall saguaros stand in silhouette
in gross pirouettes
of surrender
How can I close my eye to this,
how can I put the cap back on?
To-morrow I will number the dead
- COMMENTS
seannelsonalmost 13 years agoIt's an intriguing poem with some very well done language. I like/understand some lines better than others, but really excellent on the whole. Did you mean "through fingers of clouds" or otherwise? I love "I watch the stars spin away"
twelveooneover 16 years agoAuthor"As I read this I heard something by Ennio Marricone." You too, Bill? BB, "quick" I'm glad clanged.
bogusbrigover 16 years agoGreat to see you back posting.
One criticism or maybe it is the way I'm reading it, 'quick' at the end of the line 'I feel the temperature drop quick' rather clangs for me. Other than that, I really enjoyed the complex simplicity. ;-)
bb
RhymeFairyover 16 years agoutiful imagery, with a lot of feeling here. Almost showing a romanitic twist then you spin us out with dust in our eyes. Love it my friend ~
