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Click hereSo brother,
what do you kneel to?
Who do you worship,
what brings you down
to mere bones
disassembled?
How do you distinghush
dreams from delusion,
conflict from confusion
and all things abstruse
in between?
Brother, give me the clues
and the hidden gene
unlocking the dormant,
uncharted, unused
majority of this sapient skull.
So that insight
or hindsight
whichever, oh brother,
makes you kneel,
can be mine,
make me feel.
Lobotomy Time would probably be a more appropriate title - for those who suck up and rate this so high.
How can something be non-understandable and rated with a 100%? Or with words spelled wrong.
Jeeez, people. . . .
I can only hope that I will one day be able to write poetry as well as you- another excellent piece!
Liar,
I can't make sense of this, seems to go in different directions (in itself, not bad, but...)
"what brings you down
to mere bones
disassembled?"
at one point I get a picture of an exploding Hamas bomber.
but...
"How do you distinghush
dreams from delusion,
conflict from confusion
and all things abstruse
in between?"
This is a very clear question.
"distinghush" - not sure if deliberate, needs a clue if it is.
"Brother, give me the clues
and the hidden gene
unlocking the dormant,
uncharted, unused
majority of this sapient skull."
this tells me, you don't have an answer for the question.
I think what is confusing me are the first and the last stanzas, how do they relate to the middle two.
As a suggestion, either lop off the first and last, or fill in a little more detail, or image.
This says something unique, in an unique way, worth 100 just for that, I just wish I knew what it was
That being said, the stanzas are excellent, don't even object too much about the use of "bones" here.
One word that bothers me is majority...all I can think of is "majority rules". Perhaps "region" would work just as well?
Sack