- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Finicky
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If I placed my fond heart in a scalloped dish
With candy and roses and healthy brown rice,
Would you then not complain of its bitterness
And just chew with your mouth closed? Carefully, nice?
- COMMENTS
unpredictablebijouabout 16 years agoIt's graceful and incisive, and I really like the way the last line is constructed so that the end has a real punch to it.
well done.
swallowedscreamabout 16 years agoshould thank you, as I have a feeling I will be extra nice to him tomorrow and the day after and for as long as your words are kicking around in my head-which I suspect they will linger for quite some time. Brilliantly written, so much said in so few words.
KOLKOREabout 16 years agoI of course would have tried to immediately protest: both bitter heart; mouth shut and be nice? But you've demanded silence. I look at the poem’s arrangement of lines and words and enjoy.
champagne1982about 16 years agoThis is a brilliant little quatrain. So much said in so few lines. Well done! This poem is mentioned on the New Poems Review thread in literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum.
