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Click herePitch black darkness unbroken by light
And dancing flickers of heat
The only sound
My breathing
And yours
Drowning, gladly inside your eyes
Roaring silence
That fills my ears
Your whispers
Sweet murmurs
Of nothing
A dull ache that throbs in my consciousness
It hurts
My beating heart
And yours, so loud
Pleasure where we touch
And pain
Everywhere else
Close my eyes
Lost inside the eternal embrace
Of fire
And heat
Burning
Forever, unceasing
Trapped
Inside the flames
More specific detail would make this even stronger though, more description of color or shape, sound, the feel of the heat--I think anything in a poem that evokes a reader's senses adds to the experience. Not to detract from your poem though--it's very good. :)