- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Ghost
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Feeling you slipping
predicting the final slide
away.
Self-defense-
automatic
autonomous,
creates the cut and
cauterizes.
Giving away is better,
easier-
than losing.
Your still here,
but to me-
already gone.
Channeling,
communing,
I smile and nod
smile and nod
smile
and
nod
No crystal ball
or automatic writing.,
I smile and nod.
Ghost.
All that's left
is goodbye, final-
but said like a
see you later-
till then-
smile and nod
smile and nod
smile
and
nod.
Ghost.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneover 16 years agoat least one line would be better longer and/or shorter
/creates the cut and<
cauterizes./ General rule of thumb, unless you have an excellent reason for it, don't end a line on "and". I agree with Eve.
foehn2over 16 years agoI understand WickedEve's longing for longer line length, but I swear, I like it like it is... and yes, it seems to be hunting for something ELSE... a *wonderful* submission, thank you... keep them coming, please... ... / tm
WickedEveover 16 years agoYou're, I mean your, explanation in the comment section is funny. :) I can tell you know the difference. The poem is interesting! It's a long, thin poem. Well, it appears that way, and sometimes that works. I'd like to see longer line lengths with this one, though.
swallowedscreamover 16 years agoAuthorI do know the difference between "your" and "you're" I promise. Sigh.
