Goodbyes 1

I am burned crisp at the edges,
crouched low in these unsafe spaces
where my thoughts pile around me.

My words fall
through the rain of his blame
and anger,
as meaningless to him
as white noise.

The greater story,
the bigger one,
blows around me in drifts,
things I cannot say through my throat,
things that have no path to my tongue.

My lips are sewn shut.
My heart poked through it’s center.

He does not understand why I grieve.

I open my hands, like doves
as if willing them to take flight
to take me from this conversation
as if in gesture
I could break free
into some bright aching beam of truth.

I will myself to be done
with this sorrow
and find my way
back above the clouds.