Gravitational Upgrades

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149 words
4.5
8.9k
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I remember running, leaping, flying,
falling and rolling into the dining room
on the carpet; when I was young
and did not know, gravity existed.

Yesterday; I awoke
raised my head 'up' from the pillow
and it seemed heavier.
It could be knowledge
I have gained, weighing heavy on my mind?

Then it hit me;
I just had a birthday,
a gravitational upgrade.

Instead of asking how old one is
we could simply ask
how many gravity upgrades have you had.

Add a pound of gravitational pressure
every year; it is so clear, why so few
make it to one hundred.

It really seems to reason that
when one reaches 65 they should retire
that is a lot of gravitational pressure
to endure while working.

I suppose the main reason we do not
use this type of measurement for age
it just doesn't sound right,
"Happy Gravitational upgrade day."

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6 Comments
Bill DadaBill Dadaover 17 years ago
^

A 5 for making me laugh, but I do agree with some of the others, it could use a gravitational downgrade.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Up against gravity

This poem is mentioned in New Poems Reviews. Highly original but needs a trim. C.o.S.

Man RayMan Rayover 17 years ago
A hoot of a read....

Love your Newtonesque take on ‘gravity’. Your poem speaks tomes about the way you accept aging with grace and humour and that’s about as good as it takes as things drop 1000 leagues under the ocean!

Art, you make Literotica sing with your attentiveness to the site and its poets/authors. Your many kindnesses and critiques alone raise the standard bar. For that alone I thank you!

LiarLiarover 17 years ago
A good idea

And an interresting perspective. But taken way too far. Less is more. The title, and the first and fifth paragraph is all you need. And they are also the best written parts of the poem. If you had obmitted the rest, this would have been a five star poem IMO.

KOLKOREKOLKOREover 17 years ago
A parental upgrade as well!

I loved your humorous poem. Following, my tongue in chick follow up:

Little kids could not just walk

They have to jump and leap.

That endless extra energy

Can hardly they contain.

Those small balloons,

if we don’t hold them,

They will just laugh and fly.

So all adults must now partake

And hold them back with us,

With all our gravitas and stuff!

You see, you could become with years

A better parent yet!

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