- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Gravity, And The Power It Holds
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Driven by relativistic mass in a macroscopic theater
The anvil upon which space and time is shaped
Holding sway over all and ever
Tyrannical presence rooted deep all reality
Every scrap of any infused with its touch
Bending all where it must
Light at its mercy just as is matter in any form
Even time must bend a knee and forever obey
One presence to give possibility
From the birth of forever and beyond the death of heat
Will it hold its shackling and creating reigns of order
Even over miniscule atoms
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- COMMENTS
Tsothaabout 10 years agoI really liked your choice of words and poem. Very nicely done. However... I also feel some of those lines, or bits of them were forced, perhaps to keep the format. For example, s2,l2: "Every scrap of any" feels strange to me. It reads better in my mind simply as: "Tyrannical presence rooted deep, all reality infused with its touch".
Also, s2,l3: "Bending all where it must". Where it *must*? Where is it that gravity *mustn't* bend? (Perhaps I don't know enough about the subject, but it just feels wrong to me.)
You lost me at s3,l3: "One presence to give possibility". I scratched my chin trying to figure it out, but came up with nothing.
I really like your s4. Only a note: shouldn't it be: "Will it hold its shackling and *create* reigns of order" (create, rather than "creating").
Again, very cool poem. Forgive my nitpicking.
Maria2394over 10 years agoSome interesting poetry today! When I clicked on this, I did not expect something this good, but the title drew me in. Nice work! All were good, but the last stanza is the best :) imho
