- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Illusion
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Click hereI sat and watched as the sun rise
one vision from two eyes
a black sky turned to blue
a rainbow of colors
the sky went thru
I saw a cloud that look like a fish
shooting star make a wish
there was a flower in open bloom
living beauty I plucked
for a closer view
I heard the chipmunks morning chatter
echo off the mountain sadder
a rainbow grew across the sky
forest dew drop shower
began to subside
I saw a black cloud swiftly go by
a bunch of birds together fly
I saw my relection in a still pool
some where behind the face
is an illusion of you
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 19 years agoThere is a smooth flow to this work. Small moments lacing together the exterior, silent solitude, screaming with the purity of the natural world. I don't know if it is the illusion of "the self" or another that is so strong in the ending.... It can be taken both ways. Outside/inside... two as one..reality/illusion. Those pulls are strong.. the only thing for me.. was rhyme in the first couple lines of each stanza and no rhyme. Almost like the division of the self.. and the illusion... and so many other things.
thank you for the journey..
Du~
Mentioned in the Sunday on Monday reviews...
Bridget69about 19 years agoDemonstrates how, like a revelation, one's inner visions can clearly contrast against an outer backdrop. Great images.
Anonymousabout 19 years agoThis is an interesting bit you've written here. That first stanza is a real mind bender. I like ;)
dcpoet44about 19 years agobehind the words, especially at the end of the poem as i see it. and this is purely my take on what i've grasped. everything leading up to it is of the external. but when you get to the reflection in a still pool it becomes internal from that point on. so wouldn't it be safe to say that what is on the outside, necessarily isn't the same on the inside? this purely one man's interpretation. it made me think.
WickedEveabout 19 years agoI should give you a wedgie for these two lines:
I heard the chipmunks morning chatter
echo off the mountain sadder
