Invite to Escape

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122 words
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She calls to hear my voice
to help erase the ringing
of shrill pleas for mommy’s
attention, to find soothe
and stillness from the seemingly
never ending demands her young ones
place on her

In whispered tones I take her
to the sanctuary of two hearts together
wash the weariness dripping in her words
cleanse the burden clinging to her back
with assurances of her trials temporality
and that our time will come

a time
when we will roll
fall into billowing folds of down
surrounded by warm whispers
soft wisps of white
enraptured in a cloud
of consummation

musical movements
lyrical, languorous
muted moans
guttural groans
satisfied sighs
rise
from two
transformed
into one
sharing loads
dreams
love
each other

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5 Comments
DustystarDustystarabout 19 years ago
Phrasing, sensual

Dear Tung,

What I really enjoyed was the hurried, long lines to the change of one or two words, the transition from conveluded to simple, burdened to sensuous.

You listed this as non-erotic, but I would beg to differ. a very pretty piece, more complex than first glance would lead one to believe.

WickedEveWickedEveabout 19 years ago
really nice poem

I'd change soothe to soothing--it sounds more soothing that way. :)

ReltneReltneabout 19 years ago
*****

I tend to agree about "soothe". I only knew it as a verb. I would also say that this is an erotic poem. One of soft and soothing warmth.

foehnfoehnabout 19 years ago
Generous

and affectionate, the tone of this enjoyable poem. I have trouble trying to get the word "soothe" to fit; it's like a rough spot in an otherwise polished gem. Thanks!

My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Taleabout 19 years ago
I know this song~

My wife and I had our son off and

out of the house for about two months

running around naked and finally the

house to just the two of us and

my niece got detained "grin" we wound

up raiseing her two little ones

a 2 month old and 2 years old so it

started all over again <grin>

hince: My Erotic Tails "Blizzard"

nice poem Tung~

and wonderful memories

oh yea and erotic <grin>

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