- Non-Erotic Poetry
- McArthur was Me Mate
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A light-hearted follow-on to McArthur’s Fart by Rob Bath and Andrew Bleby
Author's note: McArthur's Fart is an Aussie classic in the style of Banjo Paterson. I was introduced to it while Down Under and thought it hilarious. I would recommend looking it up and checking it out. A while back when Chloe Tzang sponsored the "In A Sunburned Country" Story Event, I started this little homage. Well, I finally got it finished, ran it by a friend in Oz and upon getting his ROTFLMAO reaction, decided to publish it. This is especially for all my Aussie and Kiwi friends. I hope you enjoy it…
* * * * *
McArthur was me mate the day he saved that town from drought
But the way the story’s told ain’t how it really came about.
He rode in on twin horses, yeah, and they laid a huge feast out,
With the onions and the blue-vein cheese and 50 kegs of stout.
Oh, they got the gist of it alright, the basic facts I guess,
But they miss the real reason for ol’ Mac’s explosiveness.
Barmy Maggie was a baker in that town of Bungadell
And she liked to ply her trade when she weren’t runnin’ the hotel.
The bummers in the know thought she should mind the front desk more
And not be gettin’ fancy in the kitchen ‘hind the store.
‘Cause when she got creative there’s no tellin’ what she’d use
In her lamingtons and meat pies and her barramundi stews.
Now the skeptics out among ya can jeer and laugh and scoff,
But ‘struth it was the cactus in her meat pies set Mac off.
Like the primer on a cartridge, when those meat pies hit Mac’s gut,
Already filled with cheese and stout and sauerkraut ham butt,
The rumbling that started damn near shook the town apart
And finally emitted as Mac’s legendary fart.
Yes, they heard it up in China where the upside-downers dwell,
And they heard it up in Heaven and they heard it down in Hell,
And Bert’s dead horse went flying and the waters tumbled down
To the fiery, smokin’ hole that was the remnants of the town.
See, the storytellers seem to leave out, in their versions of the tell,
That after ol’ Mac farted, there was no more Bungadell.
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