Miami – Wedding

The morning before you marry
you step into the hallway
and dark eyes wide
ask for help.

I come to you and
reach up.

Your banter is light,
but as I slide the backs
of my fingers in against
your solid neck to fasten the top buttons for you
I feel the heat and moisture
of your anxiety.
I feel your pulse.

I tease you that I am going to choke you now
as I use my thumb nail to slide the loops over the small buttons.
The words are weightless.
I threaten to hit you with my shoe.
You threaten that you will enjoy it.
Other things are said underneath the silliness.

You are telling me you are scared.
I am telling you
you are going to be just fine.

The day before we had
found time to speak,
eighteen years your sisters friend.
You tell me about houses and cars you own
in the same way you once bragged
about your tropical fish.
I look at the man
and hear the boy.

So full of pride,
so much needing love and respect.
I say a little prayer as the last button slides through.
I pray that she is gentle with you
and protects the tender brittleness within,
that she leaves you your pride
and shelters you from the world
with devotion.

At your wedding
you look at her.
I can see your heart soften and grow.
I’m not sure how you can stand
the weight of it in your chest.

I will her to be worthy of you.
In everything I am
I wish it.
A blessing for you,
to break the curse of weddings in your family.