No Escape

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Can you not feel the fear
the tear
a temporal rift
ripping you apart
from head to heart
screams and sobs
riding on waves
from thousands of miles away
so many dreams
so many futures
snuffed out
slaughtered
a herd of horrified faces
huddled in disbelief
seeking comfort
in one last long hug
praying that in the end
some God will hear them
and end this madness
even as the inferno
consumed them

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jd4georgejd4georgeover 19 years ago
The first fouth fifths of your name...

...Is the one comment that I'd offer. I was thoroughly enjoying the repetitive lilt, until I came to this section:

"so many futures

snuffed out

slaughtered

a herd of horrified faces"

I became tongue-tied at the snuffed out/slaughtered, and wondered where the flow went. Perhaps something akin to "flat out snuffed out/and slaughtered"... regardelss, a little tinkering there might be in order.

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