- Erotic Poetry
- Scarlet's Web Part I
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Scarlet's Web Part I
Diamonds glisten in a million droplets
as a sultry shower dances in the street
washing the world of a sinful city
that cares not of hearts that bleed.
Scarlet wore deep red in a low cut
wild hair, mini skirt and halter smut
long high heels that killed her feet
under an over hang she rubs her need.
Her long fingers wrapped around a pole
long hard steel supporting sensual moans
replacing her shoe and let out a sigh
she felt a few dollars short of a high.
A car arrives and the window went down
umbrella in hand under enlightened lamps
seductive walk across a wet wind's gust
at the intersection of shame and lust.
"I am looking for a little romance,"
He bellowed with a big honest smile.
"You have come to the right place."
Scarlet replied in a tantalizing style.
She opened the door and crawled inside,
"Money in hand and your my man," she sighed.
Seeing his green wallet, the car door slams
Scarlet selling herself to almost any man.
She reaches for his trousers as he sped away
feeling his passion arise and want to play
zipper steel slides as lips mold, engulfing
driver jams a gear while wiggling pants free.
Luscious lips and long lapping tongue glides
He feels the jaws of Scarlet's working pride
long fingers wrapped in piston jerking strides
another payment made for a Scarlet ride.
- COMMENTS
LuciousBi-Writes4Uabout 18 years agonumber 1 on the new list today...I missed it the first time through...
good thing i took a second look!
good...
~LB~
WickedEveabout 18 years agoI don't get your rhyme pattern. It's all over the place. The poem has some good lines, and a lot of clichés. And I think good erotica usually leaves a bit more to the imagination--"Luscious lips and long lapping tongue glides"--or finds a more sophisticated way of writing it.
Some of the better lines:
"seductive walk across a wet wind's gust"
"mini skirt and halter smut"
"she felt a few dollars short of a high."
The first stanza really needs work. You want your opening stanza to be strong so you can pull the reader in. It really does have an abundance of clichés.
In the 7th stanza, you rhyme lines 1 and 2.
"She reaches for his trousers as he sped away
feeling his passion arise and want to play"
I know you want the away/play rhyme, but "want to play" in an erotic poem seems like what a novice poet would write. The two lines below those aren't bad at all, which makes the first two lines even more obvious in their lack of originality.
Last stanza: Not very good, except for the 3rd line.
Since it appears this is going to be another long series, you may want to really think about how you're going to continue. You may want to consider a rewrite of this first poem before you move on. If you do rhyme, then be consistent and try a more complex rhyming scheme. There are all sorts of interesting forms you can use.
*Not using the thermometer
LeBrozabout 18 years agoMarketing strategy and selling
With new meaning for hands on experience;
Somehow I suspect
This is not what Deca is all about.
