- Non-Erotic Poetry
- So turned a tide
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Click hereSo turned a tide and left upon my shore
your battered shell, immaculate but bruised.
And I, the fool, came rushing back once more
to salvage what the roaring storm abused.
So turned a tide when sunrise turned to dawn,
when rays of day left tender trails on skin.
They watched me meet a gaze of never gone
and all I ever dreamt came rushing in.
So turned a tide because I turned around.
The murmur stopped, the hammers struck a chord.
A driftwood doll companion I had found,
a hand in mine, the scavenger's reward.
- COMMENTS
PatCarringtonover 19 years agosmoothly crafted with an aim at the reader's ears. the flow is so graceful it sings.
twelveooneover 19 years agowith normal jean, drop the ohhhhh for me please.
end two lines are fantastic
two minor issues:
"immaculate but bruised." shells - bruised
"the hammers struck a chord." - hammers? where did they come from? the more one reads it the more these two lines detract and make it seem forced.
Otherwise, considering how diffucult it is to do "tide" "shore" "sunrise" etc. in a poem, some of this is masterfull, my congrats, wish I could have wrote soem of these lines.
it rubs the bulb, so to speak - 100
normal jeanover 19 years agosuch a tight write, bittersweet and beautiful! excellent work Liar, loved it :)
