Swing Your Blade

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Liar
Liar
59 Followers

No filter, all wit,
a gold plated razor
against their jade skin,
drawing red tears of esteem.

Your cuts bleed
pretty little puddles,
pretty little streams.

Almost unnoticed at first
you dance with atom
splitting sharp seduction,
you sink through,
leave this perfect incision
exposed to infection
and walk off,

You swing your blade
sometimes, and severed bodies
are too startled to fall apart

until you're too far away
to hear them topple over.

Liar
Liar
59 Followers
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9 Comments
sacksackalmost 19 years ago
not a word wasted...

I don't think you could make this tighter.... very well written, and enjoyable to read!

Wanton VixxxenWanton Vixxxenalmost 19 years ago
Liar, you have...

swung your pen with a fierce hand for this one! I actually envisioned the glint of the blade and the "whoosh" sound as it came down upon his/her victims. A carniverous entity for the innocent to beware if this is about a certain real person in your life. Very intense {and effective} feel to this poem, Liar.

Vixxx

~hellbaby~~hellbaby~almost 19 years ago
Sharp

Lots of cutting imagery,thanks for the read.

dcpoet44dcpoet44almost 19 years ago
in this i see

plenty of imagery throughout. I'm thinking that the first 3 stanzas is purely the display of distress of some sort. then these last 2 stanzas I have below indicates...the poet has released and moves on. That is my take. It made me work to come to some kind of culmination as to how it really changed from the forth stanza.......nicely done......don

You swing your blade

sometimes, and severed bodies

are too startled to fall apart

until you're too far away

to hear them topple over.

Bridget69Bridget69almost 19 years ago
Great poem...

whose words cut deep.

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