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Click hereNo filter, all wit,
a gold plated razor
against their jade skin,
drawing red tears of esteem.
Your cuts bleed
pretty little puddles,
pretty little streams.
Almost unnoticed at first
you dance with atom
splitting sharp seduction,
you sink through,
leave this perfect incision
exposed to infection
and walk off,
You swing your blade
sometimes, and severed bodies
are too startled to fall apart
until you're too far away
to hear them topple over.
I don't think you could make this tighter.... very well written, and enjoyable to read!
swung your pen with a fierce hand for this one! I actually envisioned the glint of the blade and the "whoosh" sound as it came down upon his/her victims. A carniverous entity for the innocent to beware if this is about a certain real person in your life. Very intense {and effective} feel to this poem, Liar.
Vixxx
plenty of imagery throughout. I'm thinking that the first 3 stanzas is purely the display of distress of some sort. then these last 2 stanzas I have below indicates...the poet has released and moves on. That is my take. It made me work to come to some kind of culmination as to how it really changed from the forth stanza.......nicely done......don
You swing your blade
sometimes, and severed bodies
are too startled to fall apart
until you're too far away
to hear them topple over.