T.C.C.o.C.C.

The Convivial Connivance of Contrived Coincidence

I heard you were pregnant.
I heard it was mine
Heard it was Ben’s.
Heard you didn’t know whose it was.
I heard you crying about it,
Behind the door of the party room,
Where everyone went on break,
Snuffling and smoking and wiping your eyes.

I heard you hated me.
I heard that’s why you cheated on me
Heard you say that I was the best boyfriend you ever had.
Heard you lying to everyone,
I heard you lie to me,
Behind the locked door of your room,
Where all of us came to lie,
Lie next to you, lie to you, get lied to by you.

I heard you were mad at me
I heard you wanted him to kick my ass,
Heard myself telling him I was sorry
Heard myself telling you that you took it too personally,
I heard everyone say that I was an asshole,
Because I wasn’t nice to you after you fucked someone else,
And told me you loved me,
You, with your smiles and your glasses and your comic books.

I heard you tell me you were unhappy
I heard you moan my name
Heard you ask me if it was always this good
Heard you wanted me back
I heard the sigh when I said no
By not talking to you for six months after fucking you on the sly.
Because I couldn’t tell you that if you’d cheat on me with him
And then on him, with me… I couldn’t trust you.

I heard you asked about me,
I heard you wondered how I was,
Heard myself laugh at the idea,
Heard people ask me what the fuck that meant
I heard you were unhappy
With what you chose, with yourself
With having to look at me from over his shoulder,
Your arms around his neck.