- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Cold
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It's 11deg. C in Mumbai
We are feeling listless
Sunshine has said Goodbye
In gray light days seem drab
We unexpectedly have been hit
By this cold weather
In the sea-side facing Port , usually
Temperate sea is a warm Mother
I now appreciate Demure's
Verses better about
Cold , gray Northern tenures
In hot tropics quite incomprehensible
- COMMENTS
Ashesh9over 11 years agoAuthorYou ain'nt dumb , bro !! thnx for readin' my poetry & commentin' ---you 're smart , we all make such slight faux paux every day without realizin' , you acknowledged when it was brought to your attention ----that shows greatness, Bro !! U Rock !!
Desejoover 11 years agobecause you called me on two counts of ethno-centrism there:1) I was subconsciously thinking in fahrenheit, which is not only silly but irrational (would be -10 Celsius!) and 2) I've never been to Mumbai and thus used images from places I have been in the region. Wrist slap for me. But I trust you get what I was saying anyway, even if I was dumb!
Ashesh9over 11 years agoAuthorThere are more BPO workers than flower sellers in Mumbai today ! Also the 11 deg. C does not entail a fire for daytime personnel like flower sellers as in tge daytime it is 13--16 degrees . Yes @ night the lonely watchmen & stray dogs gather around small fires : but up in Uttarkhand i.e. The foothills of Himalayas people are dying in the cold wave ! It's difficult to capture Mumbai or India in a single poem . But thanks for readin' , applyin' your mind , appreciatin' 'n commentin' !!!
erectus123over 11 years agonice job here as it give different viewpoint then might be expected-4
Desejoover 11 years agohere to work with - I love the idea and I think that for those of us who read poems here regularly the reference to Demure's work is perfect to evoke the northern chills (smile). I think this could be still stronger with more attention to capitalization, and maybe more words about what the norm is in Mumbai and what is suddenly missing. Makes me think, for example, of how in an unseasonal cold snap like this you can see flower sellers on the street having lit a fire in front of the tropical blooms. Well done.
