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Click hereHere on my balcony
I see the moon and the stars
Between here and the sea
There are lights, Bright lights
Then just Blackness
The lights represent those few moments
The moments I cherish
But beyond is the blackness
Nothing but blackness, or Nothing
Blackness
Across the water, the mainland
Greece. I know it's there
I see it in the morning
When the sun shines
At night it's gone
The sun shines no more
The only change I could think of was to use the phrase:
Nothing but blackness, or Nothing
Blackness
and change it to
Nothing but blackness, or Blackest Nothing.
But hey, what do I know?
This poem is mentioned in the New Poems thread on the forum.
This work has PO but is lacking something. Quit sandbagging
and give us all your thoughts. Good start.
the simplicity of this..although I'd like a little more " meat" on it.
It does convey a nice picture/ feeling of sadness and resignation.