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Click hereLet us adore the wonderful blue,
immersed in its illicit embrace;
when water droplets
make tight muscles glisten.
Immersed in its illicit embrace,
we can embark on
disingenuous, aqueous kisses.
When water droplets
harbour our narcissistic wreckage,
they recall our shadowy eroticism.
Make tight muscles glisten,
so we can adore the wonderful blue,
febrile in our cupidity.
An attempt at trimerics - enjoy (or not). S.O.
The poem is pleasant enough, but rather vague, in Poet Guy's opinion. Words like "disingenuous," "narcissistic," and "febrile" give the poem a more distanced aspect than more direct or obvious language might (e.g., "fevered" for "febrile").
Simply an opinion, though. Your poems are always interesting.
This poem rocks! It's got this slinky, lubricated erotic quality like being rubbed down with ultrasound gel (I know that's weird but I was going for a minty, silky, cool slippery thing). This one it getting a recommend and I think this is the best of yours I have read so far.