Transgenic Hatred

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I hate the silicone cock strapped around my pubis,
but I do not remove it.

The male accoutrement raped me at nine-teen,
but I cannot remove it.

Sucked from my womanhood, the death of a fetus soon followed,
but I will not remove it.

A death I committed despite believing in God,
but I shall not remove it.

I want to be what raped me,
but I must not remove it.

A woman cannot be a man. It is not real.
I languish, hope, and inter myself in cold dirt,
hoping the day comes when I am embodied as a man.