truth hidden under the rug

She lies and lay beside me
Taking her breath in parses
I breathed the same air
From her to me and back again
Joined together as we could be
She held and held me close by
A bird is better safe in hand
Than sorry it has hatched
Uncounted, as unrealized
As the dreams she dreamed
And never shared

Too scared to lose them
By time’s fell hand erased
Elusive somethings in the air
A life lived in fear and wonder
Terrible weighty waits
Of someday and tomorrow
Gathered at her neckline
Held her in place of place
As a bug-eyed butterfly
Resting in the killing jar
Dreams of the release
However it comes

And me and me and me oh my
Shame and shame for falling twice
I am truly the villainous villain
For not listening hear
To the things she never told me
The last of what I ever wanted
Was to hold her back from herself
I search my stupid heart
Finding it only knew to love
But now we’ve taught it to cry
I suppose that’s a start
For it to grow up
Finally
Just
Only
Please oh please
Don’t let me love again