- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Tycho Brahe writes to his wife
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Click hereYou would grow in my eye with the distance and squared,
seven paces away you would fill up the sky,
a phantasma of lights, breathing cosmos as air.
Breathe me gently to sleep where I spin, passing by.
Seven seconds from here you'd be written in runes
on a wind weathered cliff, facing north for the shade.
An enigma for scholars and dreamers and loons,
spinning silk by your words, ancient song in a braid.
You would grow with the distance and squared in my eye,
you'd be fabric of saga before I lost sight.
Every heavenly shape, every sphere must comply,
as you anchor me here, facing stars, blessed by light.
- COMMENTS
PoetGuyabout 13 years agoThe use of anapests as the base meter gives the poem a very unusual sound. Poet Guy wonders whether anapestic tetrameter was chosen because it is twelve syllables in length, corresponding to the 12 signs of the Zodiac? Probably not, but that makes the line "Every heavenly shape, every sphere must comply" especially delicious.
Some of the phrasing seems a bot awkward, perhaps because of the meter--e.g., "with the distance and squared" seems a bit clumsy--but other instances, the phrasing is perfect ("seven paces away you would fill up the sky").
Overall, very well done and extremely interesting.
greenmountaineerabout 13 years agoI swore that I had previously left a comment. Perhaps a black hole in cyberspace swallowed it.
The pronunciation of Tycho Brahe mesmerized me from the very beginning. I also don't think I've ever seen the combination of mathematics and romantic love combined in a poem like this before. Quite a feat. It had such a wonderful flow to it, both in rhythm and narrative. A real high 5 to you.
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agorhymes galore and a mesmerizing read, perhaps that 12 thingy does it. I don't know but now want to try it.
twelveooneabout 13 years agoVery interesting experiment, good effect. 12 is a bitch isn't it?, I'm not quite gettiing a fix on it, some of it doesn't "look" quite right, which is why I like even more.
you know you're getting a 5
