Valentine Day - No!

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Acrostic Sonnet with a bitter twist
105 words
4.67
1.3k
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Vicious as the grip is, she'll endure
All of the savagery you offer up;
Love isn't in the frame, it will not cure
Each need she has; so let the devil sup
Not fast again, regardless of a day,
That's filled with flowers, kisses and affairs
In which she has no interest; no play,
No other way will do for her; despair's
Enriched by every blow you land on her;
Devoted as she is to punishment,
Applied with strictest rigour; she'll prefer
Your lack of empathy and won't resent
Nor hate you for the tortures you design
Or insist on, as your sweet valentine.

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greenmountaineergreenmountaineerabout 7 years ago

Not my kind of fetish, S.O., but I always read your poems (I almost wrote "stuff," perhaps more appropriate, given the narrative) because of the thought and skill you bring to each.

I like the beat on the first syllable in the nasty adjective you begin with. Its sound and image set the tone from the get go. I wonder if a few more lines beginning like that may have enhanced that effect.

On the the other hand, I might have finished with

"Or insist upon as your valentine." for a softer ending.

That may be a quibble, but I believe sounds and images are often subliminal.

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