- Erotic Poetry
- Wanting to be in charge
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He wants to be in charge – if there is fury
In his tone – it won’t last – he is the judge
Of this and, in his way, he’d be the jury,
As well as both the barristers; the fudge
Of any court proceedings will not count
Because he passes sentence and will jail her
With all the sex they have – the vast amount
That keeps her locked away – he will not fail to
Fuck her when he feels she needs the use
Wherever she may be or what she wears;
He does not need her protest; his excuse
Is she is gagging for it; on the stairs,
In hallways, anywhere she’s out at large:
She’ll learn to love the fury of his charge
- COMMENTS
AlwaysHungryabout 8 years agoI think that your premise is good, and I like sonnets. But there are some bumps in the road that need to be addressed. "Fudge" is disconcerting, and doesn't actually mean something that furthers the cause of your premise. It looks like a clear case of desperation for a rhyme, so you might want to reconsider that line and the one that rhymes with it -- I think you can do better. Also, "jail her" and "fail to" is an unsatisfying half-rhyme. You might try reformulating it to use "failure", which would be closer, or just find better lines for those positions. It is unclear to me what is meant by "keeps her locked away." I think you can come up with a better version of this poem, which will be quite good.
