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Click hereWhat you couldn’t do
was accept
that I was there to help
and that others have a right to cry
even when they’re not dying,
at least not now.
Just because you are
doesn’t mean everyone should stop
feeling, thinking, wanting, pleading
to God, to each other, to self.
We are still breathing
even as your breath becomes shallow
as you do
we watch, pray, love, hug
in thought
because you’ll accept
nothing more.
Feels like a different look at the thoughts raised in "The Hand You've Been Dealt." It feels like a softer look here.
The first time I read it, I have to say that I didn't care for it. But I read it again, and I started to see what you were trying to do. I still think there is something more you could do here, even though I'm not sure what it is. It just doesn't feel flesh-out enough, for lack of a better way of saying it. Almost like you were holding something back, if that makes sense.
This is a powerful write. I loved the breaks that make one stop and let the meaning of the last line take focus in your mind.
thank you
du lac