What if?

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doormouse
doormouse
35 Followers

What if the sun would turn to ice,
    and with it came the rain?
What if the hands of time stood still,
    would the pain still ring true?
What if you'd never walked away,
    and stole with you my heart?
Would morning bring a new day?

Yesterday I died.

doormouse
doormouse
35 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
7 Comments
msboy8msboy8almost 19 years ago
It didn't suck, DM. It was great!

You put so much heartbreak into a few lines. Bravo!

impressiveimpressiveover 19 years ago
*sigh*

How melancholy! Very well done. ~Imp

Lisa DentonLisa Dentonover 19 years ago
Made me feel it

Lil mouse, you made me feel it, I don't think there is better praise.

sacksackover 19 years ago
wow, talk about a chilling ending.....

Gave me the creeps...but that what good poetry is supposed to do! Excellent!

Vampiric_MirageVampiric_Mirageover 19 years ago
Simplistically Sweet

I must agree with Miss Oatlash, I thought this was a really good poem. It's a beautifully simplistic sad little poem, with the last line of the poem completing the idea/emotion very nicely.

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