With Friends

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twelveoone
twelveoone
23 Followers

A Bag of Chips


I love the cloudy days
the sunlight sharpens things
brings shit into focus
in clearly defined days
the mortgage is late again
I'm sweatin' the 5th
term life, the payment's due
ya just never know
unless you fucks gonna dig me a hole
so what happens if you're poor
Med School? don't think so
have some student cut off your penis
and wave it around like a wand
even though the magic's been long gone
Christ, every time I take a piss, I listen
for the rattle of the stones
think you can stuff me in a crack in Centralia
roast weinies, sing happy songs
just don't piss on the fire
'till I'm completely done
chips?
Bar-B-Que
Bernice (rest in peace)
said we needed a little spice in our life
so I eat these and measure
my remaining time by the price of cigarettes
besides the chips add that orange crunchy contrast
out to crane shot
to the soggy gray and green of new buds on the trees
maybe I should have been a poet
'cause I see these things
fuckoff! with that Robert Service shit
what do you like, Don Maclean?
well at least the fucker got it right
those good ole boys really sucked it dry
pan to a bunch of aged a-holes singing "American Pie"
oh he didn't say that?
maybe he should've
fuckin canuck probably drives a peugeot
New Yorker? same thing, folk singers
so I think of these things
did you ever wonder
what would have happened
if Bukowski met Robert Frost
in the woods
it's a thought

let's go up to
the broken banks of the resevoir
do remember when it went dry
we were, what, ten?


What the tadpole saw

fish eye lens

Billy tells us a story
about two crows on the lawn
and one on the mailbox
not movin, just sittin, like on some
nocturnal emmission from god
we all listen
Billy was good with words
and we walk across
a sea of cracks
on mud caked rocks that dot
our lunar land as astronauts
Billy's off
crossin the Dead Sea and he screams
God an omen
a dead fish in a Pepsi can
that's your life, he points at me
I laughed


back then

My Hand Controller Shakes on its Own

Billy was a strange ranger
became a pastor, passes out
snakes and strychnine
Verily he speaks in tongues
but it all sounds like the Bird is the Word
and Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong
I blame it all on Donkey Kong
Billy just had to get to the next level
in the great video game of God.
You know, he was up the college,
Lit major, then he went off, naked as a jay
on campus, muttering about Camus.
Billy was a jerk off

A Game of Mumblety-peg

the geese have all flown off
left cigar ashes in the path
watch it, I hope it rains
cleanse the earth of duck droppings
flower the land with skunk cabbage
raise an new croup of groundhogs
to chew out all these weeds
look over to the dead tree

three crows squawkin up a storm
soundin like the Chruch choir
after a night that's gone on too long
or Maw yellin at Paw, like she always done
or Billy's sisters after the mailman died
ya done?
I'll give the crows the chips
figure you guys could use a little spice in your life
after eating shunks off the road
Oh you guys just shup up
not moving, just sitting, waiting
for my chips

O rotted limb
on gnarled tree
How thou remindst me

of me
(the pecular way I walk)
and shall tempt the fates
with mine idle talk

Break, Break
and fall on me
and end this life demurred


a chorus of friends
concurred

Rotten Epilog

Crack the crows take off
it falls
I sneeze and stumble
and much to you'll's chagrin
It missed
the fucking fates win again
I'm blissed
I am
truely&surely
amen

roll credits


I figured you'll wouldn't like that endin with me livin, it being a prose poetry pastoral, all Bukowski like and sech, so I done wrote a happier one. It has angels.
I know its the Red Sea, Biily didn't he was ten; lack of quotations, its pretty much a monologue, and with friends, thay all same the same things, so it doesn't matter who said what; truely&surely are cojoined to seperate them would mean death; blissed is not blessed.
Directors Cut

Alternate Ending

I lied
I died
I'm dead, dead, dead (O how can that be, you might ask)
the limb fell on my head ( It's easy, I might reply, I just make this shit up)
You got your wishes
I hope you're satisfied
God's teaching me meter, iambic with cheap sprinkly rhyme
I hope you're satisfied
And I pluck a lute on a cumulus cloud
with the Seraphim and Cherubim et al.
and sing many a ribald song (with above said heavenly choir)
about how Billy's just a pain in my ass.

twelveoone
twelveoone
23 Followers
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buttersbuttersover 11 years ago
alrightt - looks as if i did see it before but

was so tired i forgot. my brain does that sometimes and i can only ever apologise x

buttersbuttersover 11 years ago
damn

i never got to see this but glad i stumbled across it now.

something worth chewing on, youpicked me up and dropped me right into the body of this, twelve, just like the best writing always does . . . the rest disappears and it's all about what's happening, what's being said, felt

oh man, fish in a can and billy's a jerk off

faq_u2faq_u2almost 13 years ago
This is of course

an attribute to your style of writing.

The contrast of comparison...unique... I like it.

Inside you are this...outside you are that...meld into reality is your work, outwardly projected.

Very nice, hit 5

bulltlrbulltlrabout 13 years ago
I gave it a five and here is why...

broken down ....

A bag of chips - -

the sunlight sharpens things

brings shit into focus

have some student cut off your penis

and wave it around like a wand

to the soggy grey and green of new buds on the trees

maybe I should of been a poet

'cause I see these things

and the language.. it all just seem to fit... at least it did for me!

What the tadpole saw --

eh it was ok... the last two lines I liked

My hand Controller shakes on its own --

I liked it all

accept the last line

didn't seem to fall inline

with the rest of the rhyme

A game of mumblety - peg

The words were musical

the singer however,

seemed a bit off key

Rotten Epilog --

I like this ending

I bet that doesn't surprise you

Alternate Ending --

in a word... CHEEKY

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
paying attention

though falling asleep at the keyboard - NOT down to your writing

i see how lines and days change things up quite a bit - both work, but the mood changes considerably when i substitute the correct 'lines'.

i will come back to this when i'm awake, 12oh. it'd be unfair to comment further right now. as for the sloppiness, i read it as quite engineered and it feels right considering the voice of the narrator.

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