A Big Shiny Blue Marble Ch. 08

Remember this from the legend which Cha'Khah spoke of – and I do not say to believe it or not, only to never test it – the legend goes that this blade killed foes even after its owner was dead. You can feel that it lives, hear its quiet joy when you swing it only a little. You might be playing, but this may seek to help your short swing, understand?"

Sariel nodded as Vadren completed his thoughts, "That blade understands the difference between a fight and some practice. It knows nothing of sport or play. There is a large difference between the two."

"Cha'Khah," Sariel asked as he looked over, "why didn't you keep it for yourself?"

The Drowess laughed softly as she put her arm around his shoulder to pull him close. "Such a boy-child," she smiled with her eyes closed for a moment, "you ask things so plainly, seeking the clarity of truth. Think a little," she said as she drew her head back and looked at him. "Something such as this would have done me great good a little closer to my rise. Now? It would only turn me into one who seeks power. You do not seek this, you seek for learning and to grow.

I have no need of this thing," she said, "I have made my own legend, such as it is. A while ago, I thought that my legend was that of a fierce girl-fighter among my people. A little later, I was happy to be a little known as an adventurer and sometime thief beside my Vadren and your father. Lately, I see that I have turned into someone's friend and perhaps this most important, I have become one of your teachers and I stand among those who love you. I have no need of something such as this.

Rachel," she laughed, "you will need to be his teacher about girls of his age when he meets them. I will surely be no good at it at all – other than perhaps as the voice of an adviser. But in matters of his love, I am afraid that I must withdraw."

"Why?" Rachel asked with a curious grin, "I've got to hear this, now."

"Because," Cha'Khah pouted a little, "it is my great fortune to be as an aunt to him. You gave me that title yourself, and I can think of none higher. But I will want to die a little when he falls in love with a girl for the first time. I cannot help this. And if she breaks his heart, ..."

She looked away until she'd mastered the slight stinging at the corners of her eyes, and then she looked back once more. "I will want to kill the girl and her whole family if she causes one tear to fall from his eyes. I would not do it, but that is what I would want."

"I can understand that, I guess," Rachel replied, "I'd probably feel the same way myself, at least a little bit."

"You do not understand, my friend," the Drowess said as she stood up, "I make no sport here. I mean every word. To cause tears in those eyes is a crime to me." She walked off into the mountain.

Rachel saw and felt Cha'Khah's emotion and she got up to follow. She caught up with her friend before she entered the narrow access tunnel past the blast valve.

"What did I say, Cha'Khah? I didn't mean to upset you."

Cha'Khah stopped and turned around, "You did not upset me," she said, "I am near my time of month and I can be a little, ... more prone to my feelings rising, I suppose. I was faced with a memory which I did not want to think about, that is all."

Rachel stepped forward and placed her arms around the Drowess' waist. "I was worried," she said, "All I knew was that something was wrong, and, ..."

"It is not nothing, but it is not much," Cha'Khah said looking down, "only an old hurt."

Rachel touched the top of her friend's bowed head with her own forehead, "Can you tell me?"

Cha'Khah sighed heavily as she began. "I was born a low and far relation to those who control the house, and so I was sent to another house as part of a bargain to be taught. Really, I was there as a spy. There was a young weaponmaster there. He was so attractive to me – and others, it must be said.

But I thought that he seemed to like me, and I was at just the age and in a strange house, Rachel. I believed all that he said to me in our private moments. All that he said, I took to mean what he led me on to believe. You see, most of us do not hunger for love. But I did. I guess that it was a weakness in me that he exploited.

He used me and it was not what I expected. I thought that it would be something like some of the stories which I had read in books from far lands. It was not that way at all. He was rough and, ... not very kind to me. In the end, he laughed at me and left me to my tears. I dove into my practicing and stayed there, speaking to almost no one, and developing my own art.

But I was with child from it. I stayed on in my duties as long as I could until my daughter was born. I was such an inconvenience to them, requiring that I be taken off the duty for two days like that. The matron of my house was contacted and she made all of the arrangements. My daughter was taken from me. I had only one glimpse, and then she was gone. I have never seen her since. He was my first."

Rachel's mouth fell open. "That's terrible," Rachel said, as she hugged Cha'Khah and felt her friend's tears on her neck. "Oh, Cha'Khah, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you, but you do not understand it all, my friend, "Cha'Khah said, "In some time, the young weaponmaster was asked by the Matron there to demonstrate some of his knowledge of quick killing blows to his highest students – the daughters of the house itself. He said that he would need a target to kill, not wanting to risk harm coming to those girls. He was told to choose one from the guards of the house. He chose me.

I went, knowing that he planned to kill me. I had no choice. It would make a tidy bundle for him, to have used me and then made sure that my tale would never be told, not that anyone there would care in the least. I think that he thought that I would beg him for mercy, but I did not."

Cha'Khah lifted her head and looked at Rachel, "He told me to prepare myself, and I asked him if there was some method of defense that he wished for me to use. He laughed at me and replied that there was nothing which I could use that would change any outcome. He was right, of course, but not for what he had in his mind.

I was told not to wear the house armor, so that it would not be stained when he killed me. I looked into his eyes and and said that if he was as good at his craft as it was said, then he ought to fight me the same way, so as not to soil his fine armor with my gore.

He laughed again, knowing that he could not refuse before the matron and her daughters who were his patrons, after all. I kept my face blank.

I had only dreamed of this for a year and more.

I drew my sword and my dagger. When he attacked, I caught his down-stroke with both of my blades crossed, and before he knew that he had to reach me with his own dagger, I had him on my blade. It only took an instant to defeat the mighty master.

He stood there a moment, because I had not twisted my sword in him yet. He looked at me, and I spit into his eyes before I drew back a little, still holding him on my sword. It was perfect. He stood as though poleaxed while I brought my dagger to his throat in a cross-stroke. I only stepped back as I drew the dagger back to complete the two small cuts of the arteries. His blood sprayed onto us both but I still did not twist. I watched his blood pour down and I was so careful to smile at him. He gasped then and I told him that he was the bigger fool.

I stopped the dagger at that point and I cut him deeply so that his worthless little prong was almost cut free and told him that he wouldn't be needing it anymore. By then, his knees were buckling and I knew that it was time. I twisted hard then to give him the full measure of pain to cause him to stand up a little longer. I was standing face to face with the father of my lost child as I watched his agony pass from him. When he fell, I cut the rest of his prong free and I ground my heel on it.

The matron and her daughters all enjoyed my little show, seeing that I did not just kill him. I humiliated him and showed him to be worthless. They knew that there had to be something behind it, they were females, after all, and I was commanded to tell everything. They listened, not caring about how I felt or what drove me to do this. They only enjoyed how it was that I took my revenge.

Suddenly, I was wanted as a teacher for those girls, and I was offered much for the position. I accepted, of course. But as soon as she heard of it, the matron of the house where I belonged commanded me to return home. She wanted none of my knowledge or my teaching. She only wanted me to be unavailable to a possible rival.

Drow never do anything without thinking of possible consequences later on. I was thrown back among the lowest ranks of the guards. It took me long years to rise. But he was my first, Rachel, the first one that I ever killed.

I would kill twenty matrons and all of their fighters to prevent one tear from Sariel's eyes because of a hurt out of love."

Cha'Khah laid her arms on Rachel's shoulders and kissed her. "Now you know how someone who wanted only love in a loveless place was turned into such a murderous thing. I grew up there, and it is to be expected, but I think that there was always something amiss in me because I wanted someone to love me. Because of you and that boy, I feel as though I come slowly out of my long darkness, led by your hands into the light and I love you both for it." She hugged Rachel to her tightly.

When Rachel had gotten over her shock at thr story, she asked, "Is there any chance to find your daughter?"

Cha'Khah shook her head, "There are no records kept of little bundles of inconvenience. I will never know her, if she even lives."

The Drow turned slowly and walked away.