A Clockwork Green Ch. 12

She looks up at the ceiling with her unseeing eye, her mouth working but not making a sound. "Mistress. Mackenzie, please."

"Maggots. In the..." She winks a few times. "In the..."

Something is wrong... No. No. She just needs a little more time for things to clear up. "Mistress, you're not making any sense." I stroke her cheek gently and help her sit up. "We need to get going. We can't stay here." She's dead weight in my arms, unmoving..

"..." She says nothing, only stares across the room. Her jaw works wordlessly as she gazes off into the distance. She looks absolutely haggard.

"Mackenzie?! Please! Now is not the time for play!" I shake her a little, hoping that will rouse her out of... out of this.

"..." Nothing. No response at all. I find myself wishing for the dream again.

Tears start to flow, and I touch my forehead to hers. "Please!! For the love of the Gods, Mistress... Please Wake Up!"

"..."

"Mackenzie," I say sniffling, "get up. Get up." Nothing. I try to mimic her posture, but the sobbing undercuts my authority. "Mackenzie, you awful slut get up!"

"..."

I slap her. Her head whirls to the side and remains there, as if staring in that direction is no more or less important. "Mackenzie!! Please!" I slap her again. I cry. She just sits there mumbling.

Maybe... perhaps if I can get her out of here and into more comfortable settings, then I can... Possessed with the idea, I wrap her arm around behind my neck and hoist her up. Dragging her along with me is slow going as we make our way out into the hall.

We limp to the platform. The area still seems empty, and I laugh lightly. "I'll bet they're still running, Mistress!" She cooes like a baby in response and drools a little. I'm going to have to find something; I can't carry her all the way to Tournesol's like this.

We round the corner, and my heart skips a beat. Baron Rasputin is slowly descending down the massive marble staircase, clapping sarcastically the whole while. There doesn't appear to be anyone with him, but that doesn't comfort me in the least.

"Well, well well, now! It looks like the trash has somehow managed to do what we couldn't." He comes to a stop at the base of the stairs and laughs cruelly. "Do you have any idea how long some of us have been trying to do what you just pulled off? I mean, how do you deal with someone who can kill with a thought, or make your assassins reveal who they work for?"

I say nothing to him as I watch him. All I see is someone who needs to die.

"You know, there used to be ten noble houses here in New Verdia. Powerful families, all of them. He eliminated two of them outright, and over the course of a year purged another four as they tried to rebel against him." He shakes his head and chuckles a bit. "It was a bloodbath all around."

"And this was what it was all about." He spreads his hands wide to encompass everything around him. "Not just this place, mind you. The power vacuum his death would leave behind. The resources to turn the weak and ordinary into those magnificent machines you got only the smallest taste of. The access to true power. And it's all here, just waiting for me to pick it up and make it mine."

Nothin' can be left for anyone else like him to use. Mackenzie's voice echoes in my head. At the time, I didn't understand what she had meant. It has to end here. This stranglehold they have on everything must be broken.

I ease her down and prop her up against the wall before turning to face him. He sneers at me and laughs contemptuously. "You know, I didn't think the little pyromaniac had it in her to be able to kill him." He unsheathes his bastard sword and holds it to his side at the ready. "I mean, it had to be her, right? It couldn't possibly have been you. You're just a toy; a pathetic little shit who can't even do it's own thinking for itself."

I unsheathe my blade and twirl it up into position over my head. He boggles for a moment and starts to laugh uproariously. "Oh, please! You mean to tell me it thinks it can fight?" He wipes a tear away from his eye and sighs. "Let me tell you what's going to happen, creature. I'm going to run you through without breaking a sweat. The firebug is going to die painfully after that, and then I'm going to claim what is rightfully mine." He grins and brings his sword up in front of him. "I should thank her before I do, though. She gave me quite the gift when she took him ou-"

I sprint, shrieking, at him, my sword flaming brightly and trailing fire. He barely manages to parry the attack, shock written all over his face as he backpedals quickly away. The advantage is mine to take as I strike again, this time with a thrust meant to gut him. He spins out of the way and brings his blade up and around to take my head. His strike catches nothing but air as I duck under the swing and pop right back up, slugging him in the face and staggering him back a bit. He leaps backwards in order to create some breathing room between us.

"You're... you're shitting me." He wipes the blood trickling from his mouth and starts to smile. "Well, now I know how Amaranth died. Maybe it wasn't that red-haired bitch that killed him. Maybe it was you."

I pull the shotgun out of the holster and take aim. His jaw drops as he frantically grabs at a device hanging on his belt. The round ricochets off of some kind of shield and whines off into the distance. "You dishonorable sack of shit! You would use a gun in our fight?! Have you no honor?"

"I'm interested in killing you, not fighting." The shotgun stays out as I charge him yet again, both weapons held out to my sides as I close the distance. I leap at him and bring my sword in a downward strike, expecting it to smash into his shield. Instead, he parries my attack with his sword before bringing his knee up into my gut and doubling me over. He reverses his grip on his sword and tries to stab me through the back, only to miss as I roll forward and behind him. I kick out at his legs but miss when he leaps over the attack, spinning as he lands and swinging in a vicious arc at my left side. I have barely enough time to parry the attack with the shotgun, his sword's edge biting into the barrel of the weapon and rendering it useless.

"So much for the gun, peasant!" I skitter away from him and throw the weapon at him to force him to duck. When he comes back up, I am running back at him with my sword held high over my head. This time my attack does bounce off of his shield, but the device on his belt overloads and fizzles out. The power of Mackenzie's imbuement was too much for it. He backs up a few steps before dropping back into a defensive stance. "It looks like we're going to face each other on the field of honor after all, assassin." I'm sure he meant that to be an insult.

We circle each other warily for a moment, searching for an opening in the other's defenses. His lips curl cruelly as he banters with me. "Killing her was actually rather enjoyable. You know... Professor Tournesol? That little bitch took something that was mine by right. I can tell you right now, payback felt good." My eyes narrow.

He shifts his weight onto his back foot, the subtle move telegraphing his intent to me. I drop my blade just a little to give the indication that I am taking for the bait, and he snarls in triumph as he leaps forward for the strike. He thrusts directly out, and I spin away as my sword arcs around to take his head. It's only at the last moment that I see my mistake. His weapon is double edged, making it deceptively faster than what it looks like. I manage to take a step back, but I can feel the tip of his blade bite into my left arm. The sting of pain races up my shoulder, and I can feel the wet warmth of blood running freely down my arm. "Got you," he whispers as he doubles back and strikes again, but all he gets is empty air as I roll away from him and open up some distance.

I bring the flat of my sabre over the wound and activate the imbuement, searing it shut. I scream from the pain (Mackenzie always made this look so easy!), but at least I don't have to worry about bleeding to death.

"Well now. Perhaps not as skilled as we had hoped?" He smiles and brings his sword up in front of him. He circles in slowly, like a cat closing in on its' prey. "This is what happens when lower class trash tries to become more than it actually is." He feints before darting in for my left flank, hoping to take advantage of my injury. I can see the tip of his blade arcing in as he swings hard with both hands. He means to finish me off here, but he's overestimated how badly hurt I am. I'm a fencer; I only need one hand to swing my own sabre. It's almost too easy as I sidestep the slash and cut across his face, producing a wicked gash from the top of his left cheek all the way down to the base of his jaw.

He backpedals immediately, his hand raising in disbelief to touch the wound. It's not a serious injury, but it is meant to insult his skill as a swordsman. His eyes flash angrily at the slight, and his jaw twitches in rage. "You should have bought better teachers." The ice in my voice could freeze beer as I smirk at him mirthlessly.

He rounds on me, charging full tilt and screaming. "Enough! I've dealt with you for long enough, trash!" He's overextended! I must strike now!

I barely dodge the overhead chop before swinging low and hard. The blade cuts deep into the back of his knee, severing ligaments and destroying the joint. He drops onto it, screaming in pain as another sword strike cuts into his arm, slicing his hand off at the wrist and sending his broadsword clattering to the ground. The screaming stops as he clutches his wrist and starts to tremble in shock. He looks up at me, and I see disbelief and fear in his eyes. It warms my heart to look upon him like this.

"In... in the future, I'll know to stay away from you and yours," he says pleadingly. I walk around behind him and bring my sword up. He's actually begging for his life. The 'hero' of New Verdia, champion of the ruling class, is grovelling to live. How pathetic.

"What future would that be?" His face freezes in unadulterated terror as he looks back at me, his mouth moving in an attempt to say something else. He never gets the chance, though. One vicious swing of my sabre, and his head flies off. His body falls forward and slams into the ground. "Tell Amaranth I said hello, bastard."

The flame imbuement winks out as I sheathe my sword and make my way back over to where Mackenzie is propped up. I kneel down and gently drape her arm around my neck. It's only then that I collapse onto the floor in a heap. I feel so drained, physical fatigue combining with a building sense of worry that saps my spirit. She's barely made a sound the whole time. She just sits there with that vacant look in her eye. What if... What if she doesn't get better? What if... no. First things first; I have to get her someplace safe. Once that happens, I can move on from there.

I close my eyes to rest, and the dream replays in my head again. The happiness, the warmth... I can still feel it. It was a lifetime, a moment ago. I cling desperately to that feeling, even though it was only an illusion. I can discard it once she is okay, but I need a refuge from the despair that's gnawing at my chest. I won't need it when we can work on building the real thing.

Somethin' like this can't be left alone. Nothin' can be left for anyone else like him to use. Mackenzie's warning echoes in my mind, and I know it to be true. How long will it be before someone else finds this and uses it for their own purposes? We will never be safe until it all is destroyed. Not just us, but all of New Verdia is in peril so long as it all exists. My home.

I prop myself up on my elbows to look around. The question is, how am I to do it? Everything is here, just as it was in the dream. The fuel car, the explosive materials... even the trolley we had used to escape is sitting on the tracks. There's only one thing that is missing from it all; Mackenzie.

Nothin' can be left for anyone else like him to use. I know, I know! But I don't have a way of setting up the explosion. I need you, Mackenzie. I crawl over to her, then kneel down beside her and stroke her hair. "I need you so much. Why won't you come back to me?"

No matter WHAT the cost. I don't understand. I can't set this off without her. How am I sup-

"Me..."

Did she just... "Mistress, did you just say something?!" I grab her by the shoulders and look her in the eye. "Mistress, speak to me! Oh, Gods! Everything is going to be okay!"

"Me... fuse." Slowly her eye rolls up and looks at me. There's a faint glimmer of the person I love there, but she seems... fractured. If feels like I am looking at an echo of who she is, but there is something of her still there. That can be enough. I can fix her, just like she fixed me. Everything is going to be ok! I smile as I brush a lock of her hair away from her face.

"Yes, yes! We'll get you out of here, and you can set it all off from a distance. We c-"

"Me... fuse. Timer."

My face scrunches up in confusion. "I don't understand. What are you trying to say?" She just sits there, looking at me when it... My blood runs cold. She wants to die here! My heart plummets into a pit in my stomach and I wilt there in front of her. My hands start to shake uncontrollably as I look in horror at the person I love. "No..."

She nods ever so slightly, staring just slightly past me with that transfixed gaze. "Yes. Me..."

I reach out for her, cupping her face in both hands. "No! Nonono! There has to be another way! I can help you... make you better just as you did for me. We can still go home and build the life we want together. We've been through so much. We deserve that!"

She whimpers in a low, soft voice as her lip starts to tremble. "Broken. Hurts..." Sadness clouds her eye, and I can see a tear start to well up there. I hear her voice from the dream again, whispering quietly to me. No matter WHAT the cost.

But, there has to be another way. There just has to! Maybe if I can find some fuse wires and somehow rig it all together, then I can set it off and get her out of here. Something... anything other than what she's asking of me. I look frantically around in search of an answer, but in my heart, I know it's not possible. The whole station has to be detonated, not just set on fire. And the only way we have of doing it...

"Then I'm staying with you. I am NOT leaving you here to die alone, Mistress. Do you hear me? I won't leave you here!"

"Kids..." A tear rolls down her cheek as she stares unblinking at me. I crumple in front of her and grab her hand, holding on as though for dear life. I can't let go of her. I won't let go of her! She's everything good about my life... she always has been.

"Please... please don't ask this of me. I can't do this. I just can't..." I sob uncontrollably, my shoulders shaking violently as I sit there, staring down at the cold metal floor. "I need you, Mackenzie. Please don't send me away! Please!!"

"Fading..." There's an almost desperate quality to the way she says. It forces me to look up at her, and I know it to be true. As much as that realization hurts me, forcing her to live a life trapped within her own mind like that would be hell for her. Her soul would snuff out, just like a candle's flame with a jar placed over it. She has to be free.

I tilt my head back and scream for all I am worth at the ceiling. The sound echoes off of the walls and reverberates down the corridor, and still I go on. It's my rebellion against a world that offered me the body I always wanted, then punished me every step of the way for taking it. One that showed me the person I was to belong to, only to snatch her away from me and delight in my pain afterwards.

After what seems like forever, my head drops to my chest, my voice raw and tears streaking my face. I am broken and spent, and I have no more will left to fight. I lean over and give my Mistress a kiss on the cheek before wrapping my arms around her neck. "I will do as you ask, Mistress. I belong to you... now and forever. I love you so very much, Mackenzie" And with that, I get up to make the final preparations.

***

I'm standing on the back of the trolley as it speeds along, looking back. The top of The Grasp dominates the skyline, even from the outer edges of the city. I grip the railing tightly, waiting for the sound of the blast I know will be coming any moment, announcing I am truly alone in this world.

Memories of her float to the surface; some of when I was Tony, others as Charlotte. Battles fought, heartfelt conversations shared and love made to each other swirl about and around, and I can't help but smile bittersweetly. I knew her for 13 years, and was her lover for one. Oh, but that one... I wish so desperately I had more. I once thought that having a body that fit my sense of self was the greatest blessing I could ever hope for. I was such a fool. She was the greatest blessing.

I feel the earth shake as a low rumble rolls in the distance like thunder. Something dies within me as I slowly drop to my knees and cry. Through the tears I see the brand on my hand, and I collapse, crying uncontrollably.

That was only last night.

***

It's been a long, long time since I lost the most important person in my life. It still hurts so badly when I think about it. There's a hole in my soul that I just can't quite seem to fill without her. In many ways, it is just like the days when I was Tony... living a life that isn't entirely true to what I am. But, I have found ways to adapt. And I found new purpose in the world after my beloved died.

Our actions so long ago had a profound impact on New Verdia and the land around it. Most of the city's leadership had been in his pocket. Had been under his thumb. Had been in The Grasp, and lay dead. With the land's sudden resurgence, the ones that remained lost their stranglehold over the resources they had kept for themselves. New Verdia itself dwindled away into nothing, with most people moving away and the city being picked apart for raw materials to be used elsewhere. The ones that stayed built a small but prosperous agricultural village in it's shadow, naming it simply Verdia. The other city-states divided up the land not claimed by Verdia's inhabitants, which rapidly changed from a desert to gently rolling arable land.

Law enforcement for the city proper lay in chaos for some time, and the 'crimes' of two women that briefly captured the attention of the city's populace were all but forgotten as political realities shifted and power brokers left for other venues. With no one really paying attention, I staked out Professor Tournesol's old property and set up a small orphanage there. Children who were lost in the confusion came to my door. Young adventurers, who braved New Verdia's ruins to make a name for themselves and found only hard times, would help me with the day-to-day operations of the place.

The children from the original gang stayed with me for some time, with most of them moving into farm work when they got old enough. Tubbins stayed the whole time, though. I came to love that delightful child as my own, and watched with pride as he grew up into an honorable man. He married a wonderful woman by the name of Adelaide, and they both became my helpers in running the orphanage.