A Different Kind of Weather

"You know, and I missed Thanksgiving, too. That's always been..."

"Your favorite. I know. Don't worry." Jenny leaned in, took her hand. "I don't know what happened, Dev, but it's over. I'm back. Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? For what? For being afraid? For not knowing what comes next? For being human?"

"Yeah -- all those things, and a million more..."

"What about all my sins? Sins of omission? Of not telling you how I felt? What was happening to me?"

"For what? For being afraid? For not knowing what comes next? For being human?"

"Gotcha?"

"You better believe I gotcha."

They smiled.

"So, what would that make us," Jenny asked, grinning. "Lesbians?"

"Two friends who fell in love, once upon a time."

"Yeah."

"Nothing like the truth, Jen."

Another knock on the door, and the nurse made another trip to the door -- and in comes this cop, a big, burly Boston baked beans and pork chops kind of cop, and he walked up to the bed and looks at Jenny, then at her.

"This is the cop, uh, the officer that arrested Ben last night..." Jenny said, looking up at the towering man.

And Devon looked up at this mountain of a man as he walked up, not sure exactly what he was. An ex-NBA forward with an appetite for some animals, like bison, or perhaps just a cop...

"Hello, uh, Miss Sutton?"

"Devon, please?"

"Devon, I'm Officer Stillwell, MBTA Police, and I..."

"And I need to thank you, I think. For coming to my rescue?"

"No Ma'am. I just needed to get some information for my report, wondered if I could talk to you alone for a minute or two?"

"I'll just step outside," Jenny said, walking to the door -- and the nurse followed her.

"Sure. Fire away," Devon said after the door closed, "but do you have a first name?"

"Oh, Brian. Just a few things I need to clear up. First, you're male?"

"Officially, I think that's still the primary designation. For now, anyway?"

He wrote on a notepad, scribbling away furiously as he asked his questions. "I got it now," he said as he put away his pad.

"You do?"

"Yeah, my brother transitioned a few years ago. We all had a tough time with it, but life goes on, ya know?"

"It tends to, whether we like it to or not."

He laughed a little at that, then he looked at her more closely. "I was kind of disappointed, I guess, even so."

"Disappointed? What do you mean?"

"Cute, I guess."

"Cute?"

"Yeah. You're cute. As in, I think you are very cute. As in, I'm standing here and my knees are getting weak just looking at you kind of cute."

"Really?"

"Really. As in, I'm wondering if you'd like to go out sometime."

"Assuming I get out of here alive, you mean?"

He laughed. "I hear they'll probably cut you loose by Monday, Tuesday latest. I'm off next Monday and Tuesday -- in case you were wondering."

"And you needed that for your report, did you?"

"Bet your ass I did, Ma'am."

"That must be some report..."

"Yup."

"You do know that I am, well, still a little boy down there?"

"Ma'am, I'm not asking you...well, I'm not asking for anything other the chance to get to know you."

"I see. And I suppose you wouldn't mind driving me down to Providence, would you? Next Monday or..."

"No, Ma'am, I wouldn't."

She grinned, first at all of life's little ironies, then at the size of his smile. "I know I'm going to regret this, and in so many ways it boggles the mind, but why don't we plan on that?"

"Yes, Ma'am. You mind if I drop by while you're here? For a visit?"

"No, I sure don't."

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you, Ma'am. Well, I've got to run."

"Okay, and thanks again for helping out yesterday."

"Yes, Ma'am."

The nurse came in after the cop left, then Jenny followed a minute later.

"So, he asked you out?"

"He asked to drive me home, when I get out of this place?"

Jenny grinned, but it was an odd, displaced grin, full of uncertainty. "Where's home?"

"Providence...what do you mean by...Oh, Jen. What are you...?"

"I was thinking you'd move back in? With us?"

"Oh..."

"Can you tell me...are you beginning...are you attracted to men now?"

"You know, I hadn't thought about that until just now. I wasn't last week, but I was when he came in the door. Isn't that odd?"

"Oh, Dev," Jenny said, taking her hand again. "What is going on?"

"I don't know, Jen. There are times when everything feels new and -- well, there are times when things aren't as clear as I thought they'd be."

"Like now?" Jenny asked.

"Like now."

+++++

He came to her room early the next afternoon, and he brought flowers. She was asleep when he got there, and he walked in, put the vase on a deep window sill and pulled up a chair. He watched her sleep for a while, then pulled out his phone when it chirped -- and when he looked up she was watching him.

"Hello there," he said. "Wanted to drop some flowers off, but you were asleep. Sorry."

"They're pretty. Daisies?"

"Yup. I like white flowers, but somehow lilies seemed, well, just plain wrong."

"Good point. And thank you, Brian."

"How're you feeling today? Any better?"

"If I can get them to stop pumping me full of morphine."

"What?"

"They seem to think every time I sigh I need another dose of that stuff."

"Do they say why?"

"Something about holding still. I don't know, maybe letting the bone mend?"

"Makes sense, I guess."

"I'm glad you stopped by. On your way to work?"

"Yup, on at four this evening. Holiday weekend, all that."

"How long have you been, well, a cop?"

"I did twenty with Boston then retired, hated having all that time on my hands and managed to get back on with the transit authority. Not quite the same thing, but better than hanging out at house watching TCM."

"I like watching TCM."

"Yeah? What's your favorite?"

"Hmm. My favorite...? Well, I always liked Now, Voyager, but I also really like Holiday, the Grant-Hepburn original."

"Breaking free of home," he added. "Yeah, I get that."

"What?"

"They're both about breaking free of arbitrary authority and custom. Yearning for freedom. I always liked Holiday, and The Philadelphia Story. Those two had chemistry."

"They did. What's your favorite?"

"My Man Godfrey."

"The William Powell version?"

"Yup."

"Interesting. Carole Lombard was..."

"Priceless."

"You know, I was going to say exactly that. Priceless."

"I've felt drawn to you," he said, "since I first touched your wrist, felt for a pulse. Nothing's ever happened to me like that before."

"Never married?"

"Nope. Got out of the military, went straight to work with the PD and never looked back. I was, well, preoccupied, I guess you could say."

"What would you do over again?"

"Kids."

"They're important."

"You have...?"

"Two, a boy and a girl, seven and nine."

"With, is it Jennifer?"

"Yup."

"You look like sisters. When I first saw her with you I thought that's what she was. Your sister."

She smiled. "Maybe that's what we are now. Who knows?"

"She still loves you, I guess you know?"

"I still love her, too."

"That way?" he asked, his eyes suddenly full of uncertainty.

"We've been apart for almost a year now. Very acrimonious divorce. I think what her boyfriend did rattled her world, shook her up, made her aware of all she'd turned her back on."

"Everything's up in the air now?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Does that bother you?"

"No, not really. I've always figured what's meant to be will be, you know, that's what'll happen."

"I guess. As long as you don't sit around and wait for things to happen. Is that why you're here, Brian?"

"Probably so, yes."

"And I'm not quite what you expected, huh?"

"I don't think that matters, Devon."

"Really? Don't you think maybe you're not being honest with yourself?"

His eyes never left her. "You know, I don't know what brings people together. I only know what I felt -- when I touched you, when I saw your face."

She nodded, smiled. "I know. I've been there once before."

"With Jennifer."

"Yes."

"Is there room in there for someone else? Someone new?"

She nodded her head. "Yes."

"Okay. Slow and easy, right?"

"One step at a time. Everything is new to me, I guess you know."

"I called my brother, well, my sister about all this..."

"And what were his first words?"

"Oh, the irony!"

She laughed. "I'll bet. What else did she have to say?"

"Go slow, don't push."

"Well, as long as she wasn't talking about...?"

"Oh, Jesus! God -- no -- "

She laughed again -- and he tried to hide his face.

"You know, I almost feel like a virgin again," she said, trying not to laugh.

"Scared?"

"Nervous. That's a better word. I had a prostate exam two years ago, my first one, and I came unglued..."

"Yeah, I hate those..."

And they looked at one another, an embarrassed little moment, and he looked away. "Sure you want to open these doors, Brian?"

"I'm sure I want to know you better, Devlon. I feel like I need to be there for you. Like something is pushing me towards you."

"You were. There for me."

"More than that. Something stronger."

"Okay."

"I gotta go now. Thought I'd come by tomorrow morning, if that's alright."

"Of course it is." And he reached over, took her hand, brought it to his lips -- and after he kissed her fingers he turned, quickly left the room.

The moment washed over her for several minutes, then she felt sleep coming and closed her eyes.

++++

The morning sun had just painted the walls in shades of lavender and yellow when she heard a knock on the door, then she saw her mother's face poke around the door. Then her brother, and then Jenny and the kids. And finally, her father walked in -- looking sheepishly self important, and not a little confused.

"Wow!" she said. "It's raining family today!"

Her kids got there first, and landed -- on her lap -- in a squirming heap. Then the white bandage around her head must have penetrated awareness because they slowed down and looked at her. Katy reached up first and felt the gauze wrapping, then rubbed her father's face.

"Is that a big ouchie, Dad?"

"It sure is, Sweetheart. Biggest one I've ever had."

"Looks like it hurts," Trevor said.

And she saw his sudden concern, their overwhelming love, and she wanted to hold on to them forever -- but that was not to be, could never be. "It looks much worse than it is, Trevor, so don't you worry." But she knew he would. Trevor was the worrier in the family. The new worrier, she corrected herself, and she turned, looked at her father.

"How are you, Dev?" he asked, now by the side of her bed.

"Good, Dad. Feeling much better than yesterday."

He reached out, put his hand on her cheek, something he used to do a very long time ago -- and she leaned into the warmth like it was the last sun of summer, into the moment like this was one of the most important of her life, of all their time together, then he leaned closer still and kissed her forehead.

The moment passed like a benediction, and then everyone crowded 'round and her family did what all families do when silence pushes in -- they compared ailments and talked about the weather, about how different everything was these days -- and she saw Jenny then, standing well away from it all, leaning against a far wall. Maybe feeling a little lost, she thought.

She held out her hand and Jenny came -- and they kissed.

So simple, she sighed. Love is so simple, and so easy to understand -- for something so powerful. So many bonds in this room, so much hidden strength. So many yesterdays, never too many tomorrows. They gathered around her now, and talked of a different kind of weather.

*

© 2017 Adrian Leverkühn | abw | all fiction, all the time -- happy trails --