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Why did she have a diamond? Why was it gleaming red and not the rainbow of colors like Elizabeth's? Why didn't he know about this?
"Dad," he called out mentally, "is there something you want to tell me?"
(To be continued)
- COMMENTS
HydranDaDa3 months agoThe story is enthralling… A very fun read. Please proofread for grammar and spelling and PLEASE learn his bra sizes work lol. The number is the circumference of the ribcage and the letter is the cup size of the breasts. Other than this one discrepancy, the storyline has me hooked. Keep up the good work!
Anonymous7 months agoSome men (like me) enjoy B and C cup breasts and a cock doesn't have to be ridiculously large to be enjoyable to a woman. Because there does not appear to be any editing even after it has been called out again and again, I will pile on as well. I can't tell you how much this interrupts the flow of what could be a good story that goes beyond fucking. Please get someone to edit your work!
Anonymous10 months ago"Bared fruit" ?? Ignorant or incompetent - get a proofreader or editor or something...
Anonymousover 1 year agoI kept being distracted by the incorrect use of shuttered and quiet.
Windows can be shuttered and people can be quiet & you can rent a suite of rooms in a hotel. Your body can shake lightly & shudder at a horrid thought & be quite upset while not talking & be quiet.
Homophones ruin a great conceptualized tale. Dang how much effort can it take to run a replace all program?
Still 5 stars, but please correct a great story.
Bill S.
