A Handyman's Wife Ch. 01

Some stories from Kathy—Ron's wife, Steve's lover, Penny's best childhood friend. Many of the other characters involved here can be found in Steve's Handyman Memoir stories. These aren't really chapters, just random stories and thoughts. Sketches from and open marriage.

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Hi everybody. Kathy here. You know . . . Ronnie's nympho wife. That's probably what you think of me after reading Steve's stories, right?

Don't get me wrong, I loved Steve's stories, and re-living all those wild times I was involved with was super fun. He sure can write, can't he?

I got to thinking after I read his Memoir that, hey, I got time on my hands, and back in English class in high school my teachers said I was pretty good at writing. So I decided to give it a shot, kinda like a hobby. I'm gonna write some stories about this crazy life of mine, maybe share some dreams or other random thoughts. I don't know if any of it'll be as good as Steve's stories though. That boy sure can 'spin a yarn', as my grandmother used to say. He sorta cleaned me up a bit though—not sexually, I'm plenty dirty that way—but the way I speak and stuff. I'm a long way from a higher education, let's put it that way. Sometimes it hurts my feelings if people laugh at things I say or the way I say 'em, but most of the time I just laugh at myself too. Life's way easier that way, and more fun. Oh yeah, before I forget, my friend Julia, who you guys met in some of Steve's stories, she came up with the title 'Sketches from an Open Marriage'. I think it's beautiful—she's really got a way with words.

So, let's talk about the whole 'Ronnie's nympho wife' thing. Steve sorta only told the hot parts, which is cool, but I don't just let guys fuck the shit outta me day in and day out you know. I'm smart enough to know I need to switch that part of me off so I can function like a real person. Ronnie, he's a little freer with it, but it's not like a compulsion for him. He just takes it as it comes, sorta easy going like. Steve was like that too. I guess I take my cue's from Ronnie and just sorta let things flow. The reason I feel good about that is because he's still got so much enthusiasm for our marriage. More than ever really. We've been sweethearts since high school, and before we met Steve things were getting a little dicey for us. Boring, you know? Twenty years of marriage, sex that was fading fast, just boredom.

Then we met Steve. Penny called and wanted to see if Ronnie would help some other guy that was gonna do some work on her camp. Of course he said he would, and I thought it'd be fun too. A nice weekend in the mountains, with some drinking and reminiscing about the old days. But then I saw Steve. Damn, he did a number on my head. At first it was the usual stuff most women think about—he's hot, I wonder what it'd be like to be with him, I wonder how big of a cock he can hide in those jeans. Stuff like that. But then the whole weekend just blew up. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ronnie too I'm pretty sure. He and Penny, well those two have wanted to fuck each other for ever, so that was like the biggest day in the history of the world for them. And Steve and me? Well let's just say Ronnie and Penny had nothing on us. Holy fucking wow is all I can say. You know that old saying, 'he rocked my world'? Well, Steve rocked it, and then he rolled it, and then he kicked in to orbit.

I'd never had a cock like his. Ronnie's is nice, don't get me wrong, but Steve's, well it's just about perfect. Bigger than most, but not a monster that hurts you, you know what I mean? And it can just go and go and go. I've never been with anybody that's ready again so quick, and hard as freakin' steel every time. You probably thought some of his stories were exaggerated a little, no guy can do it like that over and over, but I'm here to tell you that's pretty much how it all went down, at least the times I was involved.

Speaking of going down . . . Ha! See how my dirty mind works? I got cocks on the brain. I never used to call them cocks either. That all came from Steve opening up the dirty dictionary inside my head. He did so much for me, and for Ronnie, as far as opening up our worlds. Some people probably think it's a 'bad world', one that shouldn't ever be opened up, but I beg to differ. Ronnie and I have never been so happy, or had so much fun as we've had since we met Steve. So Thanks Steve! I love you baby, and I love you too Lee!

So that's the beginning part, where I get you all up to speed. Now I'm gonna try and tell a story, kinda the way Steve did, but from, you know, a different point of view . . .

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Peckers, willies, pricks . . . we had lots of different names for them when I was a teenager back in the eighties, back when our hair was big and our imaginations were even bigger. Penny was my best friend back then, and the two of us used to dream about boys all the time. This was when we were like twelve or thirteen. I was really into Emillio Estevez, and Penny was a Rob Lowe girl.

Penny knew Ronnie way back in those days. She didn't introduce me to him for a couple years, but they both swear nothing happened between them back then. Ron was far from a bad boy, so I believe him. His parents are real straight-laced, and he was too until the end of high school. That's when we finally drew him into our wild, bad-girl world, and he and I hooked up as a couple.

Peckers, willies, pricks . . . like I said, we always used to dream about them, before we ever saw one and, of course, after. Ronnie's always made me happy, right from the start. I had my hands on a few before him, but his made me really happy, and still does, I think because it's attached to such a sweetheart of a guy. As we grew out of our teens he got bigger and hairier, and now he's like this mountain man type that I think is really sexy. Lots of other girls do to. It sounds crazy, but watching him fuck another girl is just so fucking sexy. I can hardly stand it sometimes, and it makes my own orgasm, with whoever's fucking me, even better. That's why I love the parties, at Lindsey's and Steve's, and a couple other places we've been. It's just so hot I can't even tell you, watching Ronnie make another girl cum real hard. That's what I think about when I masturbate. Weird, huh?

Looks like I got off track again . . . talking about sex is sort of a stream of consciousness thing with me, but I'll try and make a real story here. If I got my fingers outta my pussy it'd probably help. . .

So . . . once upon a time . . . Ronnie came home from one of his jobs. It was one he was looking forward to, because it was kinda interesting and something he hadn't done before, a big huge fan right over the middle of a swimming pool. It was also one of his 'girls', a customer that he had fucked before. He always tells me when he gets together with a customer, that's part of the deal we made, and when we think things are getting to be a little un-equal he sets up a three-way with another guy or a nice orgy party or something so I get my fun too. Plus he doesn't mind a bit if I go off and play with one of my girlfriends. He thinks that's hot. I could go off and play with some of the guys too and he wouldn't get mad, but I usually don't.

So he comes home after this pool job, and I can tell something's different.

"Did it go okay honey?" I asked. "Did you get that big fan up?"

"Yeah, it went great," he said. "It's fun workin' with Steve. I wish we could double up on more jobs."

"I know that smirk," I said as I poured him a cup of coffee. "You doubled up on more than just the fan, didn't you, you dirty boy."

I massaged his big shoulders as he took a sip.

"She kinda wanted to try somethin' new," he said. He had a little bit of that little boy in his voice, the Ron I knew when he was a teenager.

"I'm guessin' she liked it," I said, giving a little extra attention to a tight muscle in his neck.

"I fucked her in the ass baby," he blurted out. "I feel bad that you weren't my first. I don't even know if you'd be into that, would ya?"

"Wow, you did have a big day," I said, and I sat down with him at our little kitchen table.

A whole bunch of thoughts went through my head—my husband just fucked another woman in the ass, I wonder what Steve did, what does she look like and what did Ronnie look like doing it, and last but not least, do I want him to do that to me?

"Did you like it," I asked, and I noticed I had a little teenaged girl in my own voice.

"It was really intense," he said. "Steve thought so too."

"So he did it too?" I said. "Wow, Tina, is that her name? She won't forget today will she."

I found myself envying Tina, and that meant only one thing—two guys in my ass, ASAP.

"We kinda did her both at once," Ronnie said.

"Spit-roast in the ass, huh? Pretty wild," I said.

"No, not like that," he said.

"You mean that double penetration shit from the porn?" I said. I'm sure my eyes were huge. "Oh my God, what are you guys, like porn stars now?"

"I'm sorry honey, are you mad?" he said.

"Fuck no!" I said. "You know you're doin' that shit to me now, right?"

Ronnie smiled. "Are there any other wives like you in this world? Any other lucky bastards like me?"

"Call somebody," I said, my horny hormones flowin' like a gusher. Ronnie could see it in my eyes.

"Stevie's not home, he had some shit to do," Ron said. "Dave?"

"Fuck yeah!" I said.

Dave's a guy Ronnie used to work with. You met him briefly in one of Steve's stories. He was at Lindsey's for Steve's welcome home party. That was the first time I had met him, and he fucked the shit outta me. He said he'd seen me around, picking Ronnie up at the job site and stuff, and he always though I was hot. When he told me that I just about came in my pants, except I wasn't wearing any—we were already stripped down to Lindsey's pre-party undies. I could see his cock moving under his silk boxers. I was dying to jump him, but we had to wait for Lindsey to do her lingerie contest thing. The second she stopped I had Dave's cock in my mouth. It's a really nice one. Oh yeah, he's a blue-eyed blonde and really cute too.

Ronnie called him and wandered out into the living room to talk to him on the phone. He was back in what seemed like less than a minute.

"He's on his way," Ron said with a smile. "Ask a guy somethin' like that and they don't mess around."

"Holy shit!" I said, my eyes big again. "What the fuck do I do now?"

"Take a shower maybe?" Ron said.

I wandered off in a daze, thinking about the sexy violation that my little body was about to endure.

When I got outta the shower Dave was already there. I guess it was a long shower, but still! I guess I should be flattered that guys like to fuck me as much as they do. My yoga keeps things looking good, and I was blessed with my mothers cute body. She was so hot when she was younger, the pictures are just amazing. My father's smiling in each one of them. I used to hear them screwing when I was little. I didn't understand what the noises were until Penny slept over one time when we were eleven or twelve, and she told me. After that I used to try and figure out, based on the different kinds of sounds, what exactly they were doing and all. My mom used to often say, "Oh God, I love it like that." To this day I still wonder what position she was in when she said that, and what my daddy was doing to her. I'd love to ask her some day, but I'm too chicken.

So there I go, all free-form rambling about sex again. Let's get this puppy back on the rails...

I walked over to Dave in my little bathrobe and kissed him with my tongue. It was sloppy and hot.

"You know what you're here for Davie?" I asked him. "You boys are gonna fill both my holes at once, right?"

He was kinda speechless, which was really cute.

"Take off your clothes sweetie," I said to him. "I can't wait for this shit anymore. Gotta get on even ground with my hubbie."

Davie stripped and I blew him in the living room. The front door was open and the UPS guy showed up with some parts for one of Ronnie's jobs. He's kinda cute too, so I just kept going on Davie while Ron took the package. The UPS guy and me had been flirty right from the start, so it was super hot to be caught by him with a cock in my mouth, and he sorta knew that Ronnie and me are the Mr. and Mrs. of the household, so catching me like that clued him into all kinds of things about me. I winked at him with my mouth full and I swear to God I came a little when I did it. I don't wanna give too much away, but, he's chapter two. ;-)

"Fuck honey," Ronnie said, "you're gonna have guys beatin' the door down when I'm not here."

"Yeah, well, you'll be out bangin' some lonely customer, so we're even I guess," I said. I stuck my tongue out at him but it turned into a smile, and he smiled at me and shook his head. "Kiss me baby, and then take off your clothes," I said.

Ronnie kissed me with his tongue, right there next to Davie's cock. I don't know why, but that was enough to make my day. Guys usually freak out when they get too close to another guys cock, but it sure seemed hot to me right then. I mean I don't want him to suck on one or anything like that, that's just not who Ronnie is, so I don't think I'd find that hot at all, but having him near it, and realizing they were gonna be so close together when they were inside me, that was making me fucking tingle big time.

"I'm wet baby," I said to Ron with big horny eyes. "How do we do this?"

"On the bed I guess," Ronnie said. "It was a lounge chair earlier but . . ."

"Oooo! We could do it out on the patio!" I said. I was only sorta kidding, but after I said it I was hoping he'd agree.

"Bedroom sweetcheeks," he said, shaking his head at my wacky idea.

I love it when Ronnie calls me sweetcheeks, and it seemed really appropriate considering what was about to happen.

"You ever done this Davie?" I asked as we walked down the hall. "Fucked a girl in the ass?"

"Nope, you'll be my first," he said. "And if I may say so, there's no better ass in all of Upstate New York, so this is like the perfect storm for me."

"Oh baby, you gonna fuck me like a hurricane's sweepin' us away?" I said, giving him my best seductive eyes.

Ronnie pulled a tube of lube out of the bedside table drawer. We never really needed it until then, but I had a feeling it might come in handy some day.

Davie stood there, half wilted and not knowing what to do, so I pushed him down and sixty-nined him. I don't know if anybody's ever ranked sex positions, but that's gotta be a favorite of almost everybody. I know I love it. Something about having a guy eat me in that position—it feels so open and carnal. Combine that with having his cock right there, where I can smell it and taste it and feel it against my face . . . it's just an out-of-this-world position I think. I know guys like it too, they say they can really eat you good that way, you're so opened up to them and all. And of course the whole cock thing, they love having their cocks in and around our faces. I think I'll crown it the King of Positions. Although I do love me some good doggie, with the guys hands on my tits. On top's wicked hot to. You girls ever get fucked prone? I think that's what they call it. It's kinda like doggie, but you're flattened out on the bed, with your ass sorta poking up a little. Holy fuck is that hot! I don't know about the whole 'G' spot thing, but a guys cock in that position definitely rubs something, and it makes me cum like a mother fucker. I'm rambling again. God I love talking about sex!

So I'm sixty-nining Davie, and he's got me super wet and I cum all over his face. I don't really squirt like they do in the videos, but I do get super wet when I cum, and if I'm over the top of a guy, like sixty-nine, it can get a little sloppy.

"Get Davie a towel baby," I said to Ron. "It's gonna be a messy night."

After I said that I laughed to myself. If Betty Davis had made a porn movie, that woulda been the famous line instead of that other one. I often make myself laugh like that, twisting sex into other real life things.

"You ready baby," Ron said as he tossed Davie a towel. "You wanna try it?"

"I want you in there first," I said. "A virgin's gotta do it with the husband, right?"

"You want me alone, or you want us both at once?" Ronnie asked.

"Fuck!" I said, suddenly realizing what was about to happen. "If you're gonna christen this ship, let's do it right. Both."

"Turn around baby, let Davie fuck ya," my sweet husband said.

I kissed him and turned myself around, settling down on Davies nice cock.

"Oh fuck!" Davie said.

"You like my pussy Davie?" I asked as I gave him a slow up-and-down.

"Oh fuck yeah!" he said.

I was on all-fours over him with my hips rocking his cock in and out, and his hands found my tits. They're not big tits, but they're nice, guys seem to like them, and I love it when guys touch them. It's like this electricity thing. Not like a high voltage jolt that you get from certain sexual touches, but more like a fuzzy, low-voltage thing that just feels magical and awesome. I just love it when my tits get touched. Combined with a cock sliding deep into me it's just heaven.

"Does your girlfriend feel like this Davie?" I asked as my hips gave him a good fucking. I was getting breathless, and so was he.

"Oh fuck!" he said kinda quiet.

"She got a nice pussy Davie?" I asked. "Think she'd let me lick it sometime?"

"Ohhh Fuuuck!" Davie said. It was kind of a grunty, groany kinda thing, and he came way up inside my pussy.

"Honey, you know better than that," Ronnie said, sorta exasperated. "You can't talk to guys like that if you want 'em to last."

"Sorry Ronnie," I said, sorta sheepish like. "You tired baby?"

"Never too tired for this baby," he said, and he kissed me on the ass. "You're gonna have to work on Dave though. I'm gonna go get a beer, okay?"

Ronnie left us alone for a little while, and when he came back in I was crouched over Davies face and he was giving me a good licking. He was nice and hard again. Ronnie switched on some funky music we keep by the bed, and had a nice glimmer in his eye. He stood up on the bed and I blew him until he was hard.

Nobody had to say anything that time. I straddled Davie again and he slipped inside, and then I felt Ronnie's fingers smearing some lube on me, all around my little hole. He started pushing in. It was a real push, there was nothing easy about it, getting his nice cock into my little hole, but it felt crazy good.

Davie wasn't doing much while Ronnie worked, and I though maybe he was getting a little soft.

"Fuck me a little Davie," I whispered in his ear, and he started working me a little from underneath.

Turns out he was plenty hard, my mind was just focused on the ass part I guess. Both of 'em were hard as steel as a matter of fact, and the whole situation was just hotter than hot can be.

"Fuck baby, you're tighter than shit!" Ronnie said. It seemed like he could hardly talk.

He was all the way in at that point, and I was starting to get lost in that place I love to get lost in.

"Do it baby! Fuck me!" I said, and Ronnie started hitting it hard. "Let the cave man out baby!" I yelled.

Ronnie's a big brute of a guy, with lots of hair on him, and sometimes I call him my big caveman. He likes it I think, especially when we're having sex and he goes all animal on me. The way I felt right then, with two cocks in my holes, I felt like an animal myself and just wanted it hard. Real hard.

"Fuck it! Fuck that dirty hole!" I screamed.

He was pulverizing my backside, and it felt like a dream.

"Pound it! Pound it!" I screamed.

I don't know where that came from, the whole pound it thing. It's funny how you say stuff you never knew you were gonna say when you're in the middle of something big sexually. Pound it's a pretty good thing to say to a handyman I guess. Ha! And the whole screaming thing, I just love that. I feel so primal when I'm getting fucked and I scream. I never used to do it before I met Steve. He loosened up that primal side of me I guess. I'm not sure the neighbors like it a whole lot. We live in a suburban type place and the houses are pretty close together and they don't have too much insulation I don't think, being built back in the fifties and all. Actually it's just the people on either side of us that don't like the sex noise. One side's an elderly couple, and I hate to say it but she's a cranky old bitch. I kinda wish Ronnie was into old timers, because she could use a good stiff cock in her, that's for sure. That's what I think anyway. The old man's not too bad I guess, but he's not real friendly either. The house on the other side is about our age, and they've got a teenaged boy and girl. That's why they don't really like our sex noise—they think it's gonna corrupt their kids or something. The thing is, the kids are already having sex. It's easy to tell, all you gotta do is look at them. Oops, off the track again. So...