A Little Plate of Grapes

"Maybe four weeks of it." I pat at myself and groan a little at the pain when I lean forward.

"You okay in there?"

"Hmm. I'm going to be lost without you."

"Nah. You'll be back at work in no time."

"Not work." There I've said it. I'm so glad the door is closed and he can't see me blush.

"Oh."

"Ow!" Sharp pain reminds me to be careful bending.

"What?"

"I can't reach."

"Reach what?"

"My undies, dumb head."

"Dumb head?"

"Get in here, wookie." I crack the door open and reach for him. "Don't be a jerk. Just..."

I point down at my feet where my pink, little girl, cotton undies tangle around my ankles.

"Unforgettable." He mumbles quietly as he squats to work them up my legs. I'm quickly becoming aroused as he slides his gentle large hands up my thighs and I bat them away.

"Out. I got it now."

"What is unforgettable?" I grumble as I concentrate on walking.

"Oh. Sorry. Nothing." His cheeks darken with his embarrassment.

"Uh-uh. If I have to embarrass myself by asking for help with my undies, you can bring your own little plate of grapes to the party."

"The smell of you, Alice."

"Eww. What?" I'm almost at my hospital bed and he holds my arm and lifts my legs up one by one onto the bed for me, then eases me back.

"Well, here's 'my' little plate of grapes, Alice. That day in the lift I did everything I could to distract myself from the smell of you. I can't believe you didn't see my boner. Damn, I was so... It's been etched in the back of my mind ever since. Just saying your name sometimes brings back the actual smell."

"That's kind of gross and sweet at the same time. Mostly gross." I giggle and he laughs quietly. "You like the smell of pussy. Aren't you an oddity for a male?"

"Your smell, just your smell."

"Oh, so you're a connoisseur of vaginal aromas now? I'll put that in my statement for your Dean." I am so very much enjoying the way he's squirming.

"No... Fuck you're a bitch sometimes." He laughs, "Not just that smell. Your skin, your breath, your taste when you give me those quick little friendly kisses that send thousands of volts through me. All of you."

"But mostly my vadge?"

"If I call a nurse do you think she'd euthanise me quietly? A mercy killing or something?"

"Come here." I pull his shirt and bring his face to mine. "Kiss me. Proper-"

Hours, weeks, years, I don't know, later I become aware of someone watching from the door and pull back from the bliss that had me trapped thousands of miles from this hospital ward in a place where all that mattered was his warm lips and tongue and his shaggy hair around my face; the smell of his breath and mine; his taste and oh my god, he should smell me now.

"That smell." He whispers.

"At. Fucking. Last." Casey rolls her eyes.

"Fuck off. Turn around for a moment, bitch." I pull him back down close to whisper. "If my stupid body was working properly right now, you'd be in a lot of trouble."

"I'll look forward to it."

"Quick, help." I release him and struggle with my undies and frown. "Help, you stupid wookie."

It hurts to lift my bum off the bed but then his fingers slide them the rest of the way down my legs and I tuck myself under the sheet. "Here."

He takes them from me with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not going to see as much of you when you get back to uni. Maybe, you can still... you know... my smell... the way you make me smell, the way we smell." Oh god, I sound like a freak. We kiss quickly as he stuffs them in his pocket.

"Are you done yet, weirdo?" Casey asks. "Oh wait. Get fucked. Was that like a first kiss? I can come back. Serious, was it? I was here for it?"

"Oh, good lord. You're going to want to miss the inquisition, Alex. Get us coffee or something?"

"I've got things on this evening. Mum and Dad are visiting."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"You're not sick of me yet?"

"Totally, but who am I going to take out my frustration on if you're not here?"

"Don't look at me." Casey shakes her head. "She's scary when she cracks it."

...................

We spoke on the phone now and then. Text conversations infuriate me. Why take twenty minutes to tap things into a phone that you can say in two? He was tired from long days and late nights studying. I was tired from pain and pushing myself too hard at work.

I still couldn't drive so I couldn't just slip down to Griffith university and cuddle him like my skin craved. Even just to hold his hand while I battled walking from the lift to my office. Just to have his stupid shaggy head nearby...

"So Abe. How's Logistics performing since the shuffle? These numbers reflect positive change but what's the... vibe?"

"The er... dynamic is really healthy. Dana and Joseph manage their sections well and leave me a lot of free time to implement evolution. They've earned a bit of respect quickly and people seem to be..." He spreads his fingers and interlocks them. "er... meshing well."

"Resources? Do you need anything?" Our meeting continued for another ten minutes or so.

"Alice?"

"Hmm." I look up from the reports I'm reading.

"You look tired love. Are you looking after yourself since the... thing?"

"Everything just takes a lot of effort, Abe. And... I get scared... And..." And suddenly I'm crying. Abe holds my hand and passes me the box of tissues and sits while I ride the emotions out.

"It's not my place to tell you what to do boss, but maybe you're pushing yourself a bit too hard."

"What else am I supposed to fucking do!" Hello witchy. "There are three hundred people in this building who need me! There are four hundred at the distribution and... God damn it. I just fucking miss him, Abe."

Bless the old friend, he just sat and listened to me spill my blubbering guts over the next few minutes. I felt so ridiculous.

"I'm supposed to be this young super-executive, Abe. Not this broken high-school crush-girl. Six weeks ago, I was so damn powerful and put together and now I'm soft and needy and vulnerable."

"So, if it was me coming to this meeting today with a problem I couldn't solve how would you approach it?"

"I'd... Define it. Make goals. Examine resources. Plan and execute." I laugh. "Fuck you, Abe."

"So, the problem is your in love with this man and miss him."

"I guess that's the bones of it."

"What would you like? Make some goals." He laughs. "Spare me some of the details, but you know what I mean."

"I've got it from here, Abe. This is why your perfect for your job. Thanks, old mate."

It only took an hour. Sandy drove me home. I showered and dressed and called an Uber. Exactly an hour after I left the office I was standing near a roundabout at Griffith Uni, texting him for his room number.

[Where are you?] He even uses punctuation; I smile, and text him back.

[Near a roundabout.]

[There's a- before I can finish typing, he sends, [I can see you. I'll be down shortly.]

I still can't run but I shuffled very quickly when I saw him and threw myself into his open arms like a petulant toddler claims a parent. I just soaked him in and muttered into his stupid hairy chest.

"Don't let go of me yet. I missed you too damn much. I'm not finished yet." I could have stayed right there for hours but my back hurt from walking and standing.

"What's this all about, Alice?" He lifts my chin to look at me. "Your eye is looking really good now. I wasn't expecting to see you until the weekend."

"I have two big problems. One is long term. One is short term. I need to talk with you about them and make some plans."

"Let's start with short term." He suggests and his eyes shine kindly on me.

"I have to get up your stairs somehow so that you can help me take these clothes off and see if we can make that smell we make without hurting me."

"Oh. Easy. You're tiny. I know a wookie who can carry you."

"I was hoping to find one." I giggled as he tried to pick me up. "Hey. I can walk to your stairs, idiot."

And then he held my hand as we walked and all of the pieces of me fell back into place. By the time we got to the stairs I knew we'd work it all out.

His room wasn't what I expected. When I was at uni, my room looked like a floor-drobe with a central mattress and a desk that overflowed with books. His is insanely tidy.

"Tidy room is a sign of a sick mind." I laugh nervously as I fumble with his buttons. "Kiss me wookie."

Hiss kiss was either so damn good or his hands so damn gentle but I didn't really notice our clothes come off until I was standing in front of him huffing and trying to catch my breath as my hands explored his body. There was a softness to his strength that I'd not known in a man. There was a hardness underneath the furry chest. His shoulders and arms looked like a fortress I could hide in.

There was another hardness pressing against my tummy and I wanted so much to drop and explore it too, but my back pinched and spasmed as I tried.

"Lie down, Alex. I'm worried I'll hurt my back. Let me..?" His wild eyes roamed my body as he lay back for me and even when I'd joined him, I couldn't bend to tend to him. So I lay beside him and held his cock and learned its' every vein. We kissed until I smelled like that lift all over again. I wasn't sure how this would work but I was able to lie down on his lovely chest and simply move backwards until he pushed against me.

Without drawing my knees up, I couldn't work him into me like I usually would have. I had no idea how I was going to ride him. His hands smoothed down my shoulders and back to rub my bum and he wriggled a little until I felt him at my entrance.

"Tell me if I hurt you, sweet Alice." His hands pulled at my cheeks and opened me as he pushed up inside me. It was just the tip but he was inside me and my body sang with it. I kissed his neck and wriggled back as he thrust gently and soon he was all the way inside me and I never wanted him to leave. I had never felt this close to anyone.

"We fit together perfectly." I told him without thought, "You fill me right up. Completely up."

There was an empty condom wrapper beside his arm that told me he'd been more thoughtful than I had in the moment.

"Not hurting?" He brushed hair from my face to study me.

I just shook my head and smiled into his adoring eyes. "You can move. I just can't really- ooh!"

There was more of him. He pushed more deeply in until I felt him nudge against me deep inside. Then he slickly slid ever so gently back before gently seating himself again. His hand on my back pulled me down on his pubic bone and every bump of his gentle thrusting hammered on my clit. I desperately wanted to rise and grind him deep inside me and ride him like a stolen horse but this sweet teasing torture would have to be enough for now.

And his eyes. Every damn time I opened mine from squinting in exquisite pleasure, I found them staring in wonder at me. My release frightened me as it drew closer. I could feel it build like a growing wave. It surged and rose with each gentle thrust and filling stretch until it towered over me. Fear gripped me. Would it be so big I'd hurt my back again? Would I do that squirty thing that sometimes happens when I can't control myself? Would he be disgusted?

I heard my voice like it was someone else's crying out as that wave broke over me. My stomach clenched and my thighs shook. My contractions rocked him hard against me deep inside and then I felt him surging through his own orgasm. His hips bucked and my back pinched, but the pain was someone else's too. All I knew was this glorious smell of sex and sweat and us.

I was home.

In the afterglow, we silently lay together. I drew small circles in his chest hair and marvelled at this feeling. I'd had many lovers. Not as many as some but more than just a few. Not once had I ever been to this place, though. It was horrible; just terrible to have found it and to know that I couldn't make it on my own. If he went away, I'd never come back here.

I felt his hand grab between us at his softening penis and he withdrew. It was theft. I cried into his chest and he held my head and rubbed small smooth soothings on my back.

It could have been hours or just minutes but he held me through whatever storm it was until I wriggled carefully up him to claim his lips tenderly. We kissed in the fog of our smell and it slipped from my mouth without thinking.

"I love you."

I was mortified. We technically weren't even dating. We had kissed once before this afternoon and now we've had sex but god damn, you dumb slutchety slut.

"I love you too, Alice."

"Shit." I giggled. "You do? I feel so stupid. It just slipped out."

"Yeah, he does that when he goes soft." Boom tish, and that was all she wrote. We laughed through all that tension and admission and nervous energy until I was curled up in his shoulder with my head on his chest deep in thought and still completely comfortable, naked with my own private wookie.

"At first I worried that it was that Stockholm thing from being stuck in an emergent situation together but over time I realised that my body, my heart, everything just loved you. I couldn't do anything about it, so I just let it be and hoped." He said gently.

"Then when you were assaulted it did something even deeper. I don't understand it and my life is just so fucked up at the moment... I want you all the time. I need to know you are safe. I need you beside me where I can... But I've taken two extra units this semester and next so that I can graduate early. But now, my study is suffering because every waking fucking moment, I'm fantasising about this fantastically powerful, independent red-headed beauty that's so far out of my league it's ridiculous. It's just a splendid fucking mess, sweet Alice."

"Problem number two." I agree. "I need you too, Alex. Six weeks ago, if you told me I'd be this silly little high school girl all over again with her heart held out in her hands and a massive crush that had her not thinking straight, I'd have laughed you out of my office. I thought maybe it was just that you were so safe when we were trapped. So protective. I even went and talked to a counsellor the other day. I just didn't trust my feelings."

"I thought you looked smaller. Did they shrink you much?"

"Fucking idiot." I laugh and thump his chest. "So what do we do? I'm not independent or mobile enough to make time for you still. And you're flat out with study. Why do you want to finish early?"

"Economics."

"Yup, I know what you're studying idiot."

"No, personal economics. I'm nearing the end of my savings. I'm sick to death of eating fucking two minute ramen and drinking cask wine. If I don't finish in the next two semesters I'll have to defer for a year and save again."

"Hmm... I've always been a privileged little witch. Uni was different for me. There were lots of others like you though. Some pulled out completely because of money. I could help you, Alex. I have money."

Oops. I felt the ripple of anger roll through his torso as his muscles tensed with it.

"I don't need a fucking sugar-mummy, thanks!"

"Oh... The wookie growls..." This is a side of him I haven't seen. I imagine he's quite scary if he's angry.

"Sorry. Sorry if I frightened you."

"Hahaha. I don't think you could bring yourself to hurt me. Pity help anyone else who tried though. I'm sorry too. I didn't want to make you feel... like that... Just there's..."

"Life has been really different for me than you, Alice. Mum and Dad both work shit jobs in a shit town and they send me more than they should so I can chase dreams of finding a way out of shit-town for myself. I've kicked and clawed and worked so damn hard to get here. And now I feel it slipping away again. My study is suffering because I'm trying to do too damn much and... It's just a bit fucked. But it's not your problem to fix, sweet Alice. I don't want charity and I don't want to come to you like that. If we work out I want it to be with both of us standing on our feet. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. Very much. Listen though... There's a thing I do at work that Dad showed me before he passed away. When I have a problem, I have a process. First I define the problem, then I make goals, then I examine my resources, make plans and finally execute. I'm sorry, I just got ahead of you and I consider my money to be a resource. I was thinking of solutions for us. That's all. Please don't be insulted but the fact of the matter is that I am the owner of a multi-national marketing company. Well, there are shareholders and shit, you know how that all works. So when I am looking at solutions to the problem of how to make a life that includes this fantastic guy I met in an elevator once, I consider that as one of my resources. Perhaps there is a way... Oh, fucking perfect. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Well. What about a long term internship?"

"I don't-"

"Just listen." I thump his chest a few times for emphasis. "Don't make me beat you. Have you ever heard a wookie cry? They sound like babies."

That earns me a chuckle that bounces my head on his chest a little.

"So, what department did you enjoy the most?"

"Accounts." He answers quickly. "Investment and that thing you do with short term money markets and account payments is fascinating."

"How about Monday coming you go to HR and negotiate your own internship position in accounts. Make it so that you are paid enough to live on, work enough for the company-" I thump his chest for emphasis, "Not for me. You would work for the company! And finish your study in a time frame that lets you achieve the results you know you are capable of without the pressure. Make sure the position is contracted so that if that stupid bitch you're rooting fucks you over you still have a position, but it just gets really awkward when she calls you into the conference room to take advantage of you."

"You'd do this for me?"

"Fuckwit. I'd keep you like a gimp in my office if you let me."

Then we are both laughing as he taps his fingers on my head Pulp Fiction gimp style.

"This is why you're such a successful woman, Alice. You have some kind of vision for things. I'm more of a mechanic when it comes to business. You're like some kind of experimental scientist."

"Bullshit. Don't ever put me on some kind of pedestal. I'm just little red witchy-poo most of the time. And shut up. I'm horny again. Can we do that without the condom this time please?"

"You sure?"

"Positive. Well... I'm negative for any diseases but positive that I want you skin on skin."

"Me too. Negative. I did testing after Therese left. She'd been cheating. There's been no one since."

"Oh god damn fuck!" He slipped straight in while I was distracted.

"Shit sorry. Are you okay? Your back. I wasn't thinking."

"Oh baby, my back is fine, just... You god damned wookie's have big dicks. Give a little witchy-poo some notice before you fill her like a freight train. Oh god. That. Keep doing that."

This time, I'm able to milk the strange position for grinding and I've come twice before he growls like a proper wookie and spurts hotly against my cervix. And that smell... It's fucking glorious.

"Sorry about your bed." I blush and hold him deeply inside me. "That happens when it's a really big one for me."

...............

"Alice?"

"Sandy."

"Alex would like a moment if you can, please."

"Send him in."

I had hoped I would see him Monday when he was in to speak with HR. We spoke on the phone through the week and had made plans for the weekend and the destruction of my bedroom this time around, instead of his poor sodden matress. I still missed him like crazy but knowing things were changing stopped my skin crawling for him.

"Hey sweety." He smiled and I just fell in love with his gentle big dumb self all over again. This was the magnet that made all my bits stay together.