A Love that Lasts Forever Ch. 07

Rusty, Leah, Alice, and Dana stepped forward, carrying woven baskets of different types of flowers that they then spread around the pyre so that it almost looked as though Rhys were laying on a bed of flowers and not the wooden structure that he was actually on.

The omegas stepped back and then Pierce looked to Caleb and nodded. Caleb handed his pup to Rusty and stepped forward. He looked over Rhys body with tears in his eyes. For a moment his voice caught in his throat and he wasn't entirely sure that he would be able to speak, but he managed to choke back his tears long enough to continue.

"Rhys." He started, his voice weak and cracking. "I only knew you for a short time but in that time, you changed my life for the better. You showed me kindness I never knew. You gave me hope and encouragement and together be formed a timeless bond, a love that would last forever. Through that love we created our son, Rhylan, whom I named in your honor. I can't imagine a life without you but, now here I am, facing an uncertain future."

Caleb blew out a breath and furiously wiped at his eyes as more tears came, pouring from his eyes, in an unstoppable torrent of pain and despair. "I don't know how I can go on without you. I don't even want to try but I know I have too. For our pups sake if nothing else because I know, without him, I'd gladly follow you into the next life. As Hard as it is, I know I have to let go but I will never forget you, or the love we shared. You will forever be in my heart and in the hearts of all who knew and loved you."

Pierce turned to Caleb and in one hand he placed a white candle, burning like a beacon to guide Rhys soul to the next life. In his other hand, a book that he'd been holding as he silently waited for Caleb to finish. The book was old. Pages of parchment bound in faded leather and tied together with twine. Caleb took it gently and looked at the page held open to him, the blessing of the mate, and slowly he began to read...

"Wolf God above, I release myself from he who has left this plane and let him enter the blessed beauty of the Moonlands. As he enters a dream from which rebirth shall arise, I give thanks for and cherish the time spent with him.

I invoke your protective light to guide and watch over him. I light this candle to bless this day with the splendor of fire, the freedom of the wind, the stability of the earth, and the shelter of the forests.

O' Great Wolf, grant us birth. Give us life, death, and rest for we shall meet again once our souls leave this world. Until that time you, Rhys, will forever be in my heart, and my love I send with you into your next life."

Caleb handed the book and candle back to Pierce. Pierce addressed the rest of the pack and asked that any who had an offering now step forward to place it on the pyre. Many shifters stepped up leaving things from wine and honey, to incense, and scented oils. Quinton lay a carved wolf beneath Rhys fingers along with a gold bracelet from Caleb.

It was beautiful and the gifts further showed how cherished Rhys had been to his pack. Caleb touched the bracelet. His and Rhys names were engraved into the metal. Caleb Hallorann. Quinton had given him Rhys surname, a sign that he accepted Caleb as Rhys mate. No matter what Silver Moon said, no matter what the council decided, according to Black River, Rhys had been Caleb's true mate.

Caleb put his hand over his mouth and turned away. He knew what came next. After the offerings. The pyre would be lit and every hope, every dream, and every moment of happiness that Caleb had ever had would be gone. Destroyed by flame and smoke and all that would be left was ash. He couldn't watch them destroy his life though he knew it was just an empty shell now. Rhys spirit had been released but still, the body, it was all that Caleb had to hold onto. The only physical part of Rhys that remained and they were just going to burn it away.

He couldn't stay there. He just couldn't do it. Quickly, he turned to Rusty. "Can you watch Rhylan for a bit?" He asked.

"Of course." Rusty told him. "If you need some time."

Caleb nodded. "I just need...I can't..." He nodded his head in the direction of the two alphas, John and Joel who were standing at the head of the pyre with their torches lit. "I can't be here." Unable to say more, Caleb turned and ran. He ran from the pyre and from the gathering of shifters who were now looking on in shock and confusion. Caleb didn't want to see their faces. He couldn't take their looks of pity or concern.

It was all to much and so he ran. He ran harder and faster than he'd ever run in his entire life. He ran until his lungs burned. He ran until his legs felt so weak and heavy that he honestly couldn't take another step and then he collapsed on the ground and wept. He didn't even know where he was or how far he'd gone. He was still on pack lands. He knew that from the scent of shifter all around him but he was far from any sign of civilization.

That was okay though. It's what he needed. He needed to be alone. To grieve. To let his emotions out and not give a damn about what anyone else thought. He'd just said a final farewell to his mate and it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. What he was feeling now was worse even than what he'd felt the night the Silver Moon betas had attacked him after the full moon run. The beating the gave him, leaving him to die in the woods.

That, he had somehow managed to survive. He'd healed himself somehow but this...there was no way he could heal from this. So he just lay there, in the grass, letting the pain consume him. At least the pain he felt let him know that he was still alive, though it was of little comfort to him now. He didn't want to live. He didn't want to be alright. It would never be alright. Rhys was gone. How would anything ever be alright again?

***

Quinton couldn't remember a time in his life when there had been so many people in his house, not even at his father's funeral. It was a little overwhelming. Everywhere he looked there were shifters carrying in food, setting up folding tables and chairs, inside and out, moving more furniture around to accommodate everyone, and the omegas. There were so many omegas.

Quinton walked into the living room and found Rusty sitting in a rocking chair that had once belonged to Quinton's mother, rocking Rhylan. Shay lay on a blanket at his feet, looking around with wide eyes as he kicked his little legs. He looked more like a fish trying to swim than a wolf pup. Quinton grinned.

"Have you found him yet?" Rusty looked up. His voice was tinged with worry.

"Not yet." Quinton told him. "Going to look for him now."

Rusty nodded. "He probably just needed some time to himself."

"Yeah." Quinton agreed. He could relate.

Stepping outside, he found more of the pack, hovering around Wyatt, and three large grills that had been donated for the day. The scent of cooking meat filled the air, making Quinton hungry. He hadn't eaten anything all day. He'd been too nervous. Caleb probably hadn't eaten either. He made a mental note to fix himself a plate of food, and Caleb, when he got back. Assuming he could even find Caleb. He couldn't have gone too far though, could he?

The more Quinton searched the more concerned he became. He didn't really think Caleb would have left pack lands, not without taking Rhylan with him, so he had to be there still. Quinton just couldn't figure out where. He wasn't that familiar with Black River that he could easily slip away and hide yet so far, no one had seen him. Quinton was about to return to the feast when he suddenly thought of one last place. A place he hadn't even thought to check earlier, but was kicking himself for it now. Why hadn't it been the first place he'd thought of?

***

Caleb was sitting on the ground next to the pond, his knees drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped securely around them. He caught Quinton's scent before he'd even heard him approach.

"I'm sorry for running away." Caleb said softly, not taking his eyes off the calm, still waters. "I just had to get out of there. Is anyone angry with me?"

"Not at all." Quinton sat down in the grass next to him. "I think they understand. This hasn't been easy for you."

"No, it hasn't." Caleb turned to Quinton, his expression serious. "I assume it's only going to get harder from here."

"That, unfortunately, is a sound assumption."

"I won't go back." Caleb told him. "Not to Silver Moon. I can't."

"And I wouldn't expect you to." Quinton pulled a handkerchief from his suit pocket and handed it to Caleb. "Here." He said. "You look like you could use this."

Caleb thanked Quinton and accepted the gift, dabbing his eyes with it which were now red and swollen. "I must be a sight." Caleb laughed bitterly, sniffling a bit. "I don't think I've cried so much in my entire life."

Quinton shrugged. "Maybe you never had cause to before."

"Maybe." He folded the handkerchief in his hands, running his thumb over the soft fabric absently. Just the act itself, having something to busy his hands, was comforting. He wasn't used to having so much time to himself, just to think. He didn't like it. When he wasn't busy focusing on something else, his mind began to go to some really dark places. It frightened him.

"I should probably get back." Caleb kicked at the grass with his shoe. "Rhylan probably needs fed and..."

"He was asleep when I left." Quinton told him. "Rusty was rocking him. He seemed pretty content."

"Rusty's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is."

"I'm glad you introduced us."

Quinton chuckled some at that. "Rusty would have found you on his own eventually. I just got the ball rolling."

"Still, I'm glad you did."

"You're welcome." Quinton smiled.

Caleb looked up at at Quinton. He smiled a strained smile but Quinton saw through it. He sighed. "You don't have to hide your feelings from me Caleb. You don't have to worry about upsetting me. I know your hurting. For once, you can consider your own feelings, and stop worrying so much about everyone else. I know it's not in your nature but right now, more than ever, is the time for you to be a little selfish."

"I don't think I know how."

"Then this is good time to start learning. Let someone take care of you for once. You've a whole pack behind you here. Lean on them. It will help, trust me."

"How do I do that?" Caleb asked. "Before I met Rhys, no one cared about me, let alone how I felt. Showing my emotions was considered a sign of weakness, something I'd be beaten for."

"That won't happen here."

"I know that but...it's not that easy to undo years worth of repression and fear. I can't just stop being who I am, what I am. I can't just...let go."

"It's easier than you think."

Caleb rolled his eyes. "Maybe for you."

Quinton huffed. "You think it's easy for me? Kid, I've spent years building a wall around myself. I've pushed so many people away and hid myself away in my house, refusing to let anyone get close to me. The only person I really ever felt comfortable confiding in was Rhys. When he left, I was furious. My feelings were so misplaced. I knew he wasn't leaving the pack, or me. He just wanted to find his own path. It just so happened that that path wasn't what I had planned for him. I felt abandoned. I never told him that though. I never wanted to burden him with my insecurities."

"Rhys loved you. If you'd told him how you felt, he would have stayed."

"That's precisely why I never told him."

Caleb looked confused. "I don't understand. If it's what you wanted..."

"Because it wasn't what he wanted." Quinton explained. "Part of being an Alpha, and a big brother I suppose, is knowing when to let go. If I'd told him to stay, he would have. But he wouldn't have been happy. I knew I had to let him go. Let him figure things out on his own and when he was ready, he'd come home."

"Yeah, then he met me and look what happened." Caleb groaned. He drew his knees up to his chest again, pressing his face into his knees. "I ruined everything."

Quinton inched closer then placed a hand reassuringly on Caleb's shoulder. "You didn't ruin anything." He told him. "You gave him a reason to come home. Something I could never do. Rhys was always wild, restless, and sometimes recklessness. He could never quiet the beast inside. You did that for him."

"And then I got him killed."

Quinton shook his head. "Seth Bowden got him killed. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened."

"How? How can I not blame myself? He died trying to protect me. Me. A worthless omega."

"Rhys obviously thought you were worth something."

"Well he was wrong!" Caleb shouted, suddenly becoming angry. "I'm not worth it. Not dying over. That's what makes it so horrible. He died and for what? Absolutely nothing. His death meant nothing!"

Quinton sighed. He wrapped an arm around Caleb and pulled him into a protective embrace. "Look at your son." He told the sobbing omega. "Look at Rhylan and then tell me it was all for nothing."

***

Caleb was working his way through a shit ton of emotions that he never even knew he was capable of. And he hated every one of them. All his life he'd been taught, in one way or another, to be strong, and be brave. He didn't have the time to feel anything. There was always work to be done, orders to be followed.

No one cared if he was sad, or scared, or angry, or tired. No one cared if he was in pain. Physical or otherwise. No one ever asked him if he was okay. Or if he needed help. No one worried if he was struggling. He was expected to just do what he was told, without complaint, and not mess up.

In the eyes of his pack and family he wasn't even a person. Just a thing meant to serve. You didn't ask a washer if it was feeling okay. You didn't ask the stove if it was too tired to work. If these things stopped working for some reason, you replaced them. Caleb could be replaced too. So, he learned to keep his head down, his mouth shut, and his feelings to himself. It was safer that way.

But now, now he was given the freedom to feel something. People cared about him. They wanted to help. And he had no idea how to deal with that. Instinct told him to smile, pretend that he was alright, and never complain, to anyone, least of all his Alpha. But here Quinton was, giving him permission to feel whatever it was that he was feeling. He had the freedom to be a grieving widow. But he didn't know how.

What really pissed him off was how Quinton had managed to open him up and expose his soft, weak, underbelly. He'd analyzed Caleb's emotions before even Caleb had a chance too and he'd hit every nail on the head. How did Quinton know so much? Was Caleb that transparent? Did that mean that the rest of the pack saw his weakness too? If so, how could he ever show his face around them again? It was too humiliating.

He shoved Quinton away and stood up. "I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me." He growled. "I don't want their pity."

"It's not pity." Quinton got up and stood a few feet away, giving Caleb his space. "It's pack. Caleb, you've spent your whole life being a lone wolf. Even surrounded by a community of shifters. I know it's difficult for you to understand this, but here, you're not alone. Not anymore."

He was doing it again. Reading Caleb like a book. Maybe Caleb wasn't the only one with powers because right then he could have sworn that Quinton was a mind reader. When Caleb didn't respond, Quinton took a small step closer. "If you need time to yourself, then please, take it. Take all the time you need. All I'm asking is that you don't shut us out. We're here to help you. If you want it."

Caleb wrapped his arms around himself and shivered as though bracing himself against an imaginary storm. "I don't want to shut anyone out. I don't want to be alone. I just don't know any other way. I don't even know where to begin."

"Just be open." Quinton told him. "Start with me. Be open with me."

"How?"

Quinton shrugged. "Just tell me how you feel. What are you feeling right now?"

Caleb turned and looked at him. "Honestly?"

Quinton nodded. "Yes. Be honest. What are you feeling right now?"

Caleb drew in a long breath, trembling. "Right now, I'm feeling pissed off!" Tears pooled in his eyes as guilt saturated his young features. "I'm sorry." He lifted a shaky hand to his mouth. "I shouldn't have said that."

Quinton moved closer. "No. Don't be sorry. This is good. You have a right to feel pissed off."

Caleb shook his head. "How?" He asked, angrily. "How do I have the right the be angry?"

"Something terrible happened. It happened to Rhys yes, but it also happened to you. You lost the man you loved. You have the right to be angry about that."

"I am angry that I lost him but..." Caleb swallowed then closed his mouth. "I shouldn't be."

"You shouldn't be angry?" Quinton narrowed his eyes. "Why shouldn't you? It's perfectly natural to be angry over losing someone you love."

"I...fuck. I'm angry at him!" Caleb screamed suddenly. "Wolf God help me but I'm angry at him, at Rhys, I'm pissed the fuck off, and I know I have no right to be! I'm a horrible mate!"

Quinton watched as the color drained from the others man face. His legs wobbled and he nearly collapsed. Quinton was beside him in an instant, allowing Caleb to lean into him for support. "You are not a horrible mate." Quinton told him. "And you have every right to be angry with Rhys. He left you. He died and he left you alone. That would piss anyone off."

"Why did he do it?" Caleb suddenly wailed. "Why did he have to go and be a hero? He was so stupid! Why didn't he run? He said he'd be right behind me but he lied. He lied to me. He wasn't behind me. He went back to fight. We were so close. We were right there! All he had to do was make it to the guard house. Why didn't he just run? Fuck!"

Caleb screamed and cried and he beat his fists against Quinton's chest and all the while Quinton held him. "Let it out." He whispered into Caleb's soft, auburn, curls. "Just let it out. It's okay."

"Fuck you Rhys!" Caleb sobbed. "You had no right to do this to me! How dare you expect me to go on living without you? You were everything to me, everything I'd ever dreamed of and then, you were gone. Why? Why would you do this to us? How dare you leave me, and our pup. How. Fucking. Dare. You!"

Quinton felt Caleb go limp in his arms, all his energy drained. He cried and howled in rage until his sobs became soft whimpers and he settled against Quinton's strong chest. Quinton rubbed his back until Caleb was still and then he gently picked him up, cradling him like a baby. "It's getting late." He said as he started walking towards the house. "Let's get you back."

***

The looks that Quinton got as he carried Caleb back to the house were a mixture of confusion, concern, and some outrage. He didn't care about any of them though. He only cared about Caleb. The boy was suffering and Quinton was in a position to help. It was his duty. Both as Alpha and as Rhys brother. Quinton knew that Rhys would have wanted Caleb taken care of and that's exactly what he planned to do.

Rusty came rushing over to him once he saw him coming up the front steps of the porch.

"Where's Rhylan?" Quinton asked.

"Napping." Rusty told him. "I already gave him a bottle and changed him."

"Good." Quinton carried Caleb into the house, by passing the living room and headed for the back hall.

"Where are you taking him?" Rusty asked.

"Guest room." Quinton said. "He needs to rest."

"Okay." Rusty nodded. "I'll fix him a plate of food. For when he wakes."

"Thank you." Quinton carried Caleb to the guest room where he lay him gently on the bed. He then picked up a thin quilt that he used to carefully cover the boy. Caleb's eyes were still red and puffy but he'd fallen into deep, peaceful, sleep on the way back, and was resting comfortably. Quinton eased out of the room, closing the door part way behind him before returning to the feast and the rest of his guests.