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"Whatever courage I give you, Rachel, you're still the one that has to face the consequences," I said.
"What am I doing here?" she asked forlornly.
"In this room, or in this house?"
"With you," she said.
"You needed me," I told her.
"What do you need?" she asked curiously.
"I don't need anything, Rachel," I said.
"You're not going to kiss me, are you?" she asked.
"I'll kiss you when you want me to," I said. "When you want me!"
"I don't think this is because I don't want you," she said.
"I'll tell you what, Rachel," I said. "I'm going to ask you a question. This one time you can say yes, and I'll let you walk out of here anyway. You won't be held accountable. Do you want me?"
Silence met the question.
"I'm sorry," she said finally.
"There is nothing to be sorry about," I said turning around to face the windows.
"I'm going to regret this for a long time," she said to my back.
"I won't," I replied.
"It went too far, David," she whispered. "I used you when I could've done it all on my own."
"You didn't do anything I did not allow," I told her.
"Are they going to let me leave?"
"Who?"
"I'm not stupid, David. I don't know what really goes on in this house, but I know enough to realize there are secrets here that need protecting."
"Don't talk about it, Rachel," I said. "Don't ever talk about it, and I'll take care of you."
"Okay," she said gently. "I trust you."
I heard the door open and turned my head.
"Rachel," I said.
I felt her turn towards me.
"Long after I'm 'that guy' with a crush, whose name you can't recall anymore, I will still remember what it felt like to touch you," I said. "Thank you for that."
-----
A Brother can make every decision for a Sibling, except the first one. A Sibling must submit completely of their own will.
Rachel moved out the next day.
THE END A Master's Ring Book II
To Be Continued In A Master's Ring Book III: Inside the Shuuraku Gates
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 2 years agoI like this story but some of it’s overkill. I’m just waiting for him to reveal his real name is Bruce Wayne. I mean come on. An orphan, ex-military/special forces, secret brotherhood member, special bloodline, pitiless murderer, and he has a harem? It’s a bit much.
Anonymousabout 2 years agoThere are parts of this that are fantastic, but definite flaws too in my opinion. I have never found Rachel a compelling character unless it’s as an antagonist, and too much of the story so far hinges on her. I feel like we’re meant to be rooting for her to join but I’m really just relieved she’s hopefully finally gone. Everything that set her aside from the other girls was just stuff that was told to us, not shown. Almost all of her actions in the story were built on the foundation that David was ‘fascinated’ by her, but this fascination was never really justified to me as a reader. Nothing set her remotely apart as a character and she never really seemed to have all that much ‘chemistry’ with David either. I really think that if you were to ever to a rewrite or anything something in the first act needs to be reworked to better introduce her as a more compelling character. Either that or just get rid of her after the Taus debacle maybe? But everything after that I started glazing over most scenes she was involved in because it just felt like she was going in circles for the sake of drawing things out.
I also feel like the character of Michael needs a bit more meat so to speak. Currently he just feels like someone who basically has more sex with siblings than any brother, spends loads of the brotherhoods money, and even occasionally openly disrespects David. He acts more like a brother than a sibling, and seems to serve no purpose as a sibling either? I get that to some extent he shows some gender equality and stops it from becoming a full cliched harem. But as things stand currently he just servers to show how wishy washy the whole concept is, since he basically mooches off the brotherhood while providing almost no tangible benefit. Meanwhile some of David’s most compelling partners have been characters who weren’t initially siblings, and haven’t even yet become ones. Which in the end just makes the whole concept of siblings seem pointless to me.
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoIt was good. I hope the others will be great. Is this one great or not, you decide. It was good but not great.
