A Montauk Nightmare

I spoke quietly but used my dad voice. "William, Mommy and Aunt Daisy have to go now. Give Mommy a hug."

"No."

"William George Corrigan, get over there and hug Mommy goodbye!"

"No! She's leaving!"

I could see Jen trembling, holding back tears as she stepped forward. "It's okay, Baby. You don't have to hug Mommy. Maybe I can just hug you?"

He stood there, little arms stiff at his side as his mother slid to her knees and clutched him to her. I could see her lips quivering as she tried desperately not to cry in front of her son.

"Ohana, Mommy. Take me with you. Don't leave us behind. I'll be good. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."

I could see the tears coming and the anguish on her face. I stepped forward, using the cane to slowly lower my weight as I knelt on one knee beside them. "Jen, go. It's gonna be okay. I've got him." My empathy and frustration were quickly turning into anger. What the fuck did Duhnagaham do to my family? My wife has taught my son that they can't be separated for more than a few hours. I should have gotten her into counseling. She's close to a meltdown and he's close to a tantrum.

She turned stood and sobbing, made her way to the door. Siobhan stepped over and picked William up. Holding him tight, she kissed him on both cheeks. "I love you, Little Man. We'll be back, and we'll bring presents."

As she was putting him down, he grabbed the collar of her shirt. "Wait!"

He reached into his little pocket and pulled out a handful of smooth, colored stones from his beach collection. They were his treasures, and he collected new stones daily as he and Dink walked the beach. Pushing them into her hand he used her collar to pull himself up and put his arms around her neck.

We could all hear his whisper. "Share with Mommy."

JENNIFER

I knew intellectually that Finn was correct. I smothered William. It wasn't healthy. That knowledge didn't help. In a battle of the intellectual versus the visceral, the visceral won every time. That drive to the airport was difficult, the first few miles the worst. I had strong doubts about my ability to survive my hoped-for showdown and feared that this was the last I would see of William and Finn.

Pete drove us to the tarmac and I saw men with equipment examining everything about the plane. Remembering the horror of Wardenclyffe, I grasped Shiv's forearm. "Those men don't work for us. I don't recognize any of them."

She took my hand. "They work for me, Jen. It's okay. I don't want to wind up as chum in the Pacific, so I brought in some security experts to check things out."

"Oh, I should have thought about that. I'm, I guess I'm not too good at this sort of thing. Cynthia would have thought about that."

She squeezed my hand. "Maybe, but she had fifty years of experience that you don't. But even if she didn't, she had George. And you have me. We'll beat this thing, Jen. I'll be with you every step of the way."

The three of us got our luggage out of the car and Pete helped an airport employee load them on the plane. I pulled Pete in for a hug, asked him to watch my boys, and climbed the stairs to the cabin.

Forty-five minutes later we were in the air.

We were an hour out of California and high above the Pacific when Shiv nudged me in the ribs. When I looked up, she nodded over at Tommy. He was looking at his phone and started dialing.

"Hi! Is this Mrs. Calbert?" He listened. "My name's Tommy and I'm hoping you can help me out. I know this is sort of strange, but I'm on a plane from New York to Alice Springs and I was wondering if you happened to have a favorite place that you like to go for dinner. I want to skip the tourist stuff. It'll be my wife and sister-in-law." He listened again. "Okay, well, sorry to bother you. Have a great night."

He scanned the phone again, flipping from screen to screen. Stopping, the dialing began. "Hi, my name is Tommy and I'm calling from New York. Is this Mr. Bonn?" Listening. "Great! Mr. Bonn, I'll be in Alice Springs tomorrow and I was wondering if you had a favorite restaurant that you could recommend." Listening. "Wow, that sounds fantastic. What about other places you like? Any sites that visitors shouldn't miss?" Listening. "Oh, that's great. We'll definitely hit it up. Please keep my number handy. If you're ever headed to New York, I'd love to return the favor." Listening. "Three of us. My wife and sister-in-law are with me." Listening. "Barbecue? Sir, you said the magic word. We'd love to. Can we bring anything?" Listening. "Sure. Just text me the directions." Listening. "You got it. Thanks again."

Shiv and I looked at each other. I hoped that I didn't appear as slack-jawed as she did.

"Tommy, what the heck was that? Were you just cold-calling people in Australia for restaurant tips?"

"Well, yeah, sure. What's the worst that could happen? They hung up on me? So what? I'll call someone else. And we have a dinner invitation for Thursday. Finn's gonna be so jealous. Australian barbecue. How crazy will it be if they have 'shrimp on the barbie'?"

"Are you nuts? We're not going to some stranger's home for dinner."

"C'mon, Jen. We'll be strangers for five minutes and then we'll have Australian friends. How cool will that be?"

"You are seriously the strangest man."

He smiled like a man who had pocket aces. "I'm the strangest man who just happens to have lots of friends."

I couldn't argue.

We took two helicopters from the airport in Hawaii to a private beach. All of us went, family and flight staff. Staring at the inside of the plane for so long was driving us nuts and we still had a long way to go.

Shiv called out to me. "Jen, get a picture with me and Tommy. Doesn't this beach look just like the one inLost?"

"Lost? What'sLost?"

"Oh, shit. You never sawLost. It was a TV show. I guess about a decade ago? Really good. Take a picture and send it to Finn. Tell him we haven't run into The Others."

I took the pictures for her, we all ate together, played some Frisbee and headed back. We were over the pacific again within four hours of stopping to refuel.

Finn called me as soon as he got the photos. "Love you. How's the flight?"

"Good. You got all the pictures? Shiv says they're from a TV show."

"Yeah.Lost. Good show. You all seem happy. Did you get any souvenirs for William?"

"A bunch. Tommy got him a cute little Hawaiian shirt and he sent Marisol a muumuu and a bunch of pineapples. The two of them are as close as siblings. William needs a cousin like that. Tell your sister to get to work giving us a niece or nephew. So, how are you guys holding up?"

"Not happy that you're gone, but holding our own. Hold on a sec. I've got some photos for you. I'll send them now."

A few seconds later, a picture of Pete and my boys in very sharp suits arrived. When I miss my son this much, you can not send me pictures of him in a suit. You. can. not. I started sniffling.

Finn spoke loudly. "Jen, I'm hanging up and I'm calling Shiv."

Her phone rang, and she picked up. I could hear her side of the conversation. She was looking right at me and with a small sympathetic smile. "Yeah, she's a crier. She'll be fine. She just showed me the phone. Cute pic. Were you at a car show? Did you get me anything?" Listening. "No WAY! What year?" Listening. "So, that's Connery, right?" Listening. "You're the best big brother ever." Listening. "Okay, hold on. Jen, he's sending another picture."

I flipped to the new photos and saw Finn walking with a miniature Spiderman. I laughed. Shiv eventually hung up and he called me back.

"So, what are you buying?"

"Pete and I bought seventy-five acres of potato farms and we're building a vodka distillery."

"You and Pete? How much are we fronting him?"

Finn lowered his voice. "Nothing. Did you know he has millions? Seriously. Cynthia left him enough to live on for the rest of his life."

"And he's still working for us?"

"Yeah, I don't get it."

"Okay, what else?"

"Two cars, one from a Bond movie, and I'm announcing an exploratory committee to look into purchasing controlling interest in the Mets."

"The Mets? Really? That's not some cars and farmland."

"Yeah, we're just making the announcement. Get our name out there. We'll probably wind up with a small percentage. Jen, the right people need to be able to recognize our name. Sometimes we need to be mentioned in the papers."

We spoke some more, and I resisted the urge to ask him to wake up William, so I could tell him I love him. We said our goodbyes and hung up.

It took us another nine hours before we touched down in Alice Springs. It was the longest, most tedious trip of my life.

I had expected a small city, maybe about the size of Dayton. That wasn't what we found. Alice Springs was tiny. The landscape reminded me of New Mexico. Not much grass, tons of beige and lots of stucco. Twice as many people attended NYU as lived in this town. That was neither bad nor good. Small towns are fine. Not everyplace has to be Los Angeles or Manhattan.

Depressingly, we passed a McDonalds and a KFC on the way to the Desert Palms Resort. We were halfway around the world and we still ran into the same fast food joints. We had three rooms reserved, two for us and one for any guests that might be arriving. Our meetings were set for tomorrow and hopefully the next day we'd be able to head to the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park, home of Uluru.

Of course, we now had to make time for Tommy's dinner appointment at a stranger's home.

Everyone seemed oddly friendly, but the first people we really met were resort employees and that was their job. When we drove around the next day in the Audi Q7 we rented, it was the same everywhere. It was as if everyone we met was commissioned by the local tourist board to greet visitors. Tommy was in love with the place. He was finally amongst his people.

We went to breakfast at Piccolo's Café and headed over to the Yipirinya School, an elementary school for aboriginal children designed to teach them about both their own culture and that of what they called the 'white man'. It felt odd to hear it phrased like that. Almost anachronistic.

Our meeting with the guides set-up by Dr. Prudenovis were taking place there this afternoon. They asked us to arrive early. Met by the school's director, we were given a tour and were told that traditionally guests would read to the children one on one. They had picture books written specifically for aboriginal children by a local woman. Tommy read to a little boy and Shiv and I each read to girls.

They were delightful and precious children, whose parents led very transitory lives. Literacy rates were low, and this free school was a Godsend to their community. We ate lunch with the children, listened to them sing and answered a million questions about America and New York.

They liked Shiv and me, but they loved Tommy. Of course they did. Everyone does.

Mr. Illuka Grant met us as the children headed towards their buses. He was a thin, older man in black slacks and suit jacket, with a pressed white shirt and no tie. His hair, bushy beard and mustache were white. He had a serious mien that demanded respect. I still didn't know what he was, technically. An elder? A shaman? I loathe buzzwords, but there was a gravitas to this man.

"Mrs. Corrigan?"

"Yes. Mr. Grant? Thank you for seeing us."

"Ah, well, when I receive a call from America from a colleague asking for help, I have to at least satisfy my curiosity."

Seated in a private room, I introduced him to my in-laws and tried to explain what I wanted.

"I need to enter Dreamtime, and I was led to believe that it might be possible at a place called Ayer's Rock with your help."

"We call it Uluru. It is very old and very beautiful. Is this your first time in Australia?"

I had to be straightforward. "Yes. From what we've seen, it's a lovely country. Sir, we would really appreciate your help. I have two things that I can offer. The first is help, a favor I would owe you. My husband and I have resources that we can make available to you if needed. The second is sort of crass and a little ugly, but we have money. I'd be willing to pay."

He looked... offended. As if I were gauche. Glancing about at the whiteboards, desks and schoolbooks, he spoke up. "Mrs. Corrigan, you have children of your own?"

"Yes, William, a son."

Mr. Grant smiled, his offense seemingly ameliorated. "Ah, a son. Children are a blessing. Is he with you?"

"No, he stayed home with his father. He's four, so this would have been a great distance to travel. And you, sir, do you have children?"

His smile seemed personal this time, less a courtesy extended to strangers. "Five. Three girls, two boys. And eight grandchildren."

"Children are everything. I... I've been thinking about this a lot lately. They are our connection to the future. I'd like to help the children here, at this school."

"I'm sure that will be appreciated, Mrs. Corrigan. Will you come back to read to them again?"

"I would love to do that before we return to New York, but I was thinking about financial support."

"I don't know much about those things. You would need to speak to the Director. I'm sure he would appreciate your help, but that's outside my purview. I come, I advise when asked and I talk to the children about their heritage."

"Yes, of course. I'll speak to him before we leave tonight. Do you... is Uluru open to the public?"

He smiled again, but it seemed to be in indulgence. There was a pressing need in me to circle back to the topic of Dreamtime, but he appeared to be in no rush. He paused for a moment.

"Tell me why this is so important that you would travel halfway around the world to visit with us?"

It was my turn to pause. I considered what I could say and what I couldn't. What would make me look insane and what wouldn't. I finally decided it didn't really matter and told him everything. About the creature, the in-between place and the death they brought with them.

"We call these creatures Papinijuwari. If you started with your story, you would never had to mention the money. We will help."

We arranged to meet him the next day for our six-hour drive to Uluru and left to meet Tommy's new friend. He'd invited us for dinner and Tommy was excited to see if we would have shrimp on the barbie. We stopped at a liquor store and bought a few bottles of Vasse Felix wine, so we wouldn't show up empty-handed. Our host and his wife were as hospitable as everyone else in this lovely town and fed us like royalty.

We did have shrimp, which I know amused Tommy no end. It was paired with Australian Wagyu and then pavlova for dessert. Our evening was lovely, we thanked them effusively, and they promised to visit us if they were ever in the States.

The next morning, we visited the Kangaroo Sanctuary and Tommy convinced a veterinarian feeding a joey a bottle of milk to let him try. She acquiesced, and we filmed it for Finn and William.

Stocking up on drinks and snacks, we met up with Mr. Grant again and headed out on State Route 4. It was another long, boring trip. After an hour of watching desert scenery, it all blended into one.

Seven hours later we were at the park. Mr. Grant introduced us to twenty-one people who I assumed were his colleagues. Most were over sixty, but all seemed hale. After our greetings, he took us to a large tent that looked like something people used for glamping. Families could live in this thing comfortably for months on end.

"All right, Jennifer. We will be ready tomorrow night. I don't know what your beliefs are, but pray or meditate or do whatever you need to do to center yourself."

"Does it have to be tomorrow? Can we do it the next day?"

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"I need to walk around Uluru a few times."

"You mean wander around, get a feel for it?"

"No, I need to literally walk around the perimeter. Seven times."

Narrowing his eyes, he looked at me. "Okay. That won't be a problem."

I did two circuits that evening, three the next day and two the following day. Tommy and Shiv joined me every step of the way. In total, it took me almost twenty-three hours. I don't know what connections Mr. Grant had, but we were never bothered by officials, regardless of the hour.

On each circuit I would leave pure water in bowls made from clay taken from earthen mounds in Ireland. The last time around I left another bowl, this one filled with silver and gold jewelry, including a gem encrusted tiara. I quietly said a few phrases Dr. Prudenovis taught me.

"For the fey." Tommy and Shiv's curiosity was palpable, but I ignored their unspoken questions and they left them unvoiced.

Our evenings were spent listening to tales from Mr. Grant and his friends of their people, the Dreaming and Songlines. They played oddly haunting songs on a digeridoo and sang, at least one of them continuing at all times. It seemed to have something to do with me entering the Dreamtime and I realized that I was forcing them to spend an extra day at their efforts.

The evening of the third day all of Mr. Grant's colleagues dressed differently. The men in basic tan pants, the women in simple, plain garb that looked as if it would have been as appropriate a thousand years ago as it was today. They all had paint on their faces and bodies. Some intricate, others not.

I felt weary and alone. From the start, I hadn't believed that I would return. Thinking of my husband and son, I clutched the photo in my pocket. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I looked about the room, gathering courage. My eyes fell on Tommy. He was a good man, maybe the best I knew. There was a simplicity and purity to him that I envied.

Shiv stepped forward and took my hand. I held it as she pulled me in and wrapped me up in a hug. If I never made it back to Finn and William, I knew that she would protect my boys with her life.

When Shiv pulled back, Illuku gave me an earthen mug with a pungent warm liquid and had me drink it down. There's no way to describe it aside from disgusting. He had me rest on a large cot in the tent while his fellow shamans continued their singing and playing. One of them opened a panel in the tent that allowed a view of the moon.

I felt nothing except for the nasty grit left in my mouth from the drink. I lay there thinking about William and Finn, Siobhan and Tommy and the rest of the people I love. Time passed, and I put my hand behind me to prop myself to get up. I wanted to go look at the moon for some reason. My arm collapsed behind me and I fell back into the cot.

Pulling my arm around, I held my hand to my face. It felt rubbery and distended. My hair was bristly, but I had no idea how I knew that. Siobhan would know. When I went to ask, my tongue unfurled and rested on my chest. Not able to retract it, I went to push it all back in my mouth, but my arms refused to obey me.

I was tripping hard.

And how many times have I prayed

The angels would speed me away

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head

The regulator's swinging pendulum

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed beneath your head

The regulator's swinging pendulum

Come with me and walk the longest mile

The Regulator, by Clutch

JENNIFER

One moment I was in the tent, the singing calming me in spite of the weirdness, and the next moment I was here, standing, looking about at a barren landscape. The world was muted tans, dull blues, quiet shades of orange and dirty whites. It was a mélange of shades of ugly. There were mountains in the distance and sparse vegetation on the ground. Straggly trees valiantly struggled to climb to heights past five feet. It was a desolate vista.