A Second Chance

A Second Chance : Does Our Past Really Matter?

There is very little sex in this story.

Thanks to 'Techsan' for editing my story.

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There I was at the dinner table with my new girlfriend sitting next to me. She had come over to meet some of my family for the first time. She had met mom and dad many times. They love her almost as much as I do. I think they thought I would never get married again after the first fiasco of a marriage I had. It was my fault. We got married when I was only twenty one years old. I guess I just wasn't ready for marriage. I was just into the sex like most guys my age at the time.

I was caught cheating on my wife. We were at a New Year's party and I guess I had too much to drink and was caught with one of the women in the back bedroom. My wife walked out of the room and out of my life. That was six years ago. Luckily we didn't have any kids. We just split what few assets we had and went our own way.

I'm now thirty and a lot wiser and more mature. I'm an accountant for a large firm and do quite well. Of course I have a degree from State College where I sowed my wild oats. The girls were plentiful. Some were there to find husbands but a big portion were there to party just like I was. I had nothing against these women. There was no real love but a lot of sex went on. There weren't too many virgins. At least none that I knew. What you have to understand is that all these guys at college were having sex. They had to have partners so anyone that says the girls were all little saints are lying to you. Take it from a person who was there. In fact that is where I met my first wife.

I met Sally, my girlfriend, at work. She applied for a job as a executive secretary at our firm about seven months ago. She had moved here from California a couple of years before that. She was a good looking woman that carried herself with dignity. She was twenty-five and dressed and acted professional unless we were alone. Then she was just a sweet loving woman. It reminds me of the song 'Behind Closed Doors' no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. She worked for the executives on the floor above me. I met her in the executive lunch room one day when I was watching her and dropped my food tray. Boy, I really felt stupid. She just laughed and helped me pick up my mess. I got another tray, sat down with her and we became friends.

We started dating. It just seemed right the two of us together. We didn't have sex until about two months into our relationship. She never told me much about her past, just that she went to college in California and received her degree. She needed a change so she moved east to basically start over. I never mentioned it to her but wondered. Starting over from what?

I do have to say she was the best lover I have ever had. She could be gentle or she could be rough. She was willing to try whatever I wanted. I know she had sex before we ever met. No woman could be that good and not have some knowledge of the sexual acts. With me she seemed so giving, so loving. After about three months with her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wanted her for my wife. If she would only have me.

She was also a good homemaker. Her apartment was spotless, neat and looked as though it was decorated by a professional. She had done it all herself. She was a great cook and could make some of the best desserts. Well-mannered, caring, smart and beautiful, all in one package. Every man that saw her wanted her. She always politely refused and said she was a one-man woman, and I was that man. No man could ask for more. I asked her to marry me after dating her for just three months. She cried and said. "Jerry, are you sure you want to do this? You don't really know me well enough?"

I just looked at her beautiful face with tears coming down and said, "I love you with all my heart and soul. I have never loved anyone as I love you. Please marry me."

She was crying as she said, "Jerry, I love you so much and, yes, I'll marry you."

We were both hugging and tears came to my eyes. I wondered what I did to deserve such a wonderful woman. She smelled and felt so good. I never wanted to let go. We went into the bedroom, got undressed and made slow passionate love. I was kissing her and slowly worked down her body. God, what a gorgeous human being. I stopped at her heaving breasts as I sucked on her nipples until they became taut. Then I worked my way down her body kissing her soft tummy. I could feel her getting worked up as my mouth went lower over her soft trimmed mound. She pushed her vagina up against my mouth. I tried to devour her taking her in my mouth and listening to her sighs and moans.

I had to take her, I couldn't wait much longer. I reached into the night stand to get a condom. She put her hand over mine saying, "Not tonight, honey, I want to feel the full power of your love. Please, just take me, I am yours and yours alone."

I slid my hard penis into the moist valley below. She felt so warm, so good. I laid across her body resting on my elbows so I could devour her lips as I exploded into her. I raised slightly and looked into her eyes, and saw tears forming. She looked at me and said, "No matter what ever happens I want you to know I truly love you." Then she kissed me again before I could respond.

After we made love and showered together I felt better than I ever have. I called my parents with the great news. Sally and I were getting married. Mom said they were so happy for us. Then she invited us over Sunday for a family dinner so my sister Leah and my brother Kevin could hear the good news.

As we were sitting at the table my brother Kevin and his wife came in with their two rug rats. Kevin took one look at Sally, smiled and said, "My God, Jerry, what did you do to deserve her?" as he smiled with his wife giving him a love tap on the arm. They were a great couple, made for each other.

I mentioned to Sally that my sister went to college in California also. Sally all of a sudden looked nervous and said, "What college did she attend?"

I just told her USC. Sally looked extremely nervous. I didn't know why. Then my sister Leah and her husband came in. Sally stood up to face them. She looked at Leah. As Leah looked at Sally she said, "Oh my God, it's Sally." as she covered her open mouth. They both said their hello's but I knew there was tension there. Sally told us that they both attended USC at the same time and it was a surprise to find out Leah was my sister. Leah said to Sally, "You need to stop by so we can talk over old times." I needed to find out why there was so much tension between them but had to find another time to ask about it. We went on with dinner. Everyone being polite to each other. It surprised Leah to hear that Sally and I were getting married. She and her husband had just gotten married two years ago and had one child of their own.

Sally didn't say anymore to me about Leah. I dropped Sally off at her apartment, kissed her goodnight and then went home. The next day I had lunch with Sally. She said she was going over to Leah's after work to talk to her for awhile so she wouldn't be able to see me tonight. It bothered me so when I left work I headed over to Leah's myself. When I got there I saw Sally's car parked out front. I pulled into the driveway and entered the house through the garage.

As I entered the kitchen all I heard was Leah yelling, "You can't, Sally, you just can't. Please don't do it."

I rushed into the room. Sally looked at me with tears in her eyes and ran out the door. I looked at a crying Leah and yelled, "Can't what, Leah? Can't what? Can't marry me? What's going on, Leah?"

Leah looked up at me and said, "She just can't do it." I looked at Leah and then ran after Sally. I had to know what this was all about.

Before I could get to her car Sally had sped off. I ran out, got in my car and went looking for Sally. I knew I was driving too fast for these crooked roads, but I needed to catch up with Sally. The next thing I knew I didn't make the curve and my car was rolling over an embankment. Then I woke up in the hospital or was I awake?

It was like I was a spirit looking down on my body just lying there. I could see the doctors and nurses working on me. I was hooked up to all kinds of machines. I could see it all happening. Was I dead? No, I was breathing but was unconscious. I was comatose. I could see everything happening to my body but couldn't do anything but watch.

My parents came in and took my lifeless hand. I could hear everyone talking but couldn't even move a finger. I wanted to tell them that I was alive but had no way of doing it. I couldn't move my fingers or even my toes. My eyelids would move ever so slightly and that was it. I kept yelling while looking down on the room. I'm alright, please hear me, I'm alright. Mom was crying as dad held her. When they walked out, my sister Leah came in with her husband. She kept saying she was so sorry as she cried over me. Why couldn't I move? God, let me at least move a finger.

My brother came in with his wife. I guess they only allowed two visitors at a time. My little brother tried to keep a stiff upper lip but broke down and started crying over me. He kept repeating, "Why, bro, what happened?" He and his wife then walked out.

God, what happened to me? Was I dying? Would I recover? What ever happened to Sally? I needed answers but all I had were unanswered questions. Why was I able to see what was going on? Is this the way it is for all comatose patients? Do we see ourselves dying. No, this isn't the way it's suppose to be. I was suppose to be getting married not dying.

The nurse came back in after my brother and his wife left. She checked all the machines, shaking her head in a no direction and then walked out. Then I looked over at the door and there stood Sally. Dad walked her into the room and stood back while she came up to my near lifeless body. She was crying as she kissed my forehead then held my hand in hers and kissed it also. I wanted to squeeze her hand and let her know I was alive but nothing happened.

Dad told her it was time to go. She said she wasn't going anywhere. She was staying here with the one she loved and sat down in a chair next to me and wept.

A week passed and I was still in a coma. Sally went to work everyday and then would come sit next to my lifeless body for hours. She would tell me everything that went on that day and sometimes read to me. She told me she had taken care of the insurance and that she notified my bosses and that I was on a medical leave. I was not to worry because my job would be waiting for me. She talked to me like I could hear everything she was saying.

One day I overheard the doctor and nurse talking. The nurse said, "He's so young. What are his chances? What happened to him?"

The doctor replied, "We've done everything medically possible for him. It's out of our hands now. All we can do is wait. It isn't looking good. His brain is still working but his vitals signs are falling. He must have hit his head extremely hard in the accident. I don't know if he'll recover."

My parents started stopping by each day for about an hour. Then the time they spent would be less and less. Who could blame them? Sitting there watching their son unconscious not knowing if he would ever recover. They would always kiss my forehead and then hug Sally as they left.

Just so you know, my spirit body couldn't just travel anywhere. As long as my body was alive, I could stay near it. I saw and heard all the doctors and nurses comments. They weren't sure if I would recover. They told Sally one day that I couldn't hear her and maybe she should leave and get some needed rest. Sally got irate with them. This was the first time I'd ever seen her mad. She just flat out told the doctor that he was wrong. She knew that I could hear her and that she knew I would recover.

The doctor apologized to Sally and said he wished he had the faith that she had. She smiled at the doctor and said, "It's even more than faith. It's the total love I have for him. He will recover."

This daily routine went on for about a month. My parents stopped in for a few minutes every day. My sis and brother came by maybe every three or four days. Sally never missed a day. I think she spent all her free time sitting by my bedside, reading stories or newspapers to me. She said when I woke up she didn't want me to be behind on the news.

The next time Sally came in and was alone with my lifeless body she said she had to let me know what happened, why she left so abruptly. She always wanted to tell me but was afraid I would leave her. But seeing my sister Leah, she couldn't keep it a secret any longer. She had to tell me, no more secrets.

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Sally began telling me her story:

"Believe it or not, Jerry, it all began in high school. I wanted to be popular. So I found out early in high school that if you want to be popular with the boys, just put out. That's what I did. I had dates all the time. I would date different guys for two or three months at I time. I was a good looking girl that put out. All the guys wanted to date me. Yes, I was a slut but never thought of myself as one, not at the time. Were the guys sluts? They were doing the same thing I was. If guys put out, are they sluts?"

"I was still an excellent student. I had brains and a body. Looking back, it was too bad I didn't use the brains more. I did find out I could have just about anything or anybody I wanted. Looking back I could see where I was bad, really bad. But at the time I was just having fun. I smoked marijuana in high school and in college. Everyone I hung out with did too."

"I had the grades to go to USC but I had to have sex with the guidance counselor to get his recommendation. Damn him, I didn't like being used. I liked to be in charge, to pick my partners. I should have turned him in."

"I started at USC, I made the sorority. I had the brains so the schooling was a breeze. That gave me time to party. I did a lot of it. I guess I was a slut. I had sex with most everyone I wanted. You notice I said sex, not love. You're the only person I made love to, Jerry."

"That's where I met your sister Leah. This is what you heard about at Leah's house. When she said, 'Don't do it.' she wasn't talking about us getting married. She was fine with that. She didn't want anyone to know she was somewhat of a slut herself. I needed time to think. That's why I left so abruptly."

"Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this but she was pretty wild too. She told me she was going to party and then return home to Ohio and live a clean life. She wanted to get the sex scene out of her system. I guess she did. One time we even had a little girl on girl action. It wasn't that big of a deal at the time but now looking back I regret most of my college days. I figure Leah never told her husband and was afraid if I told you, he might find out."

"I got pregnant and had a abortion when I was a sophomore. I thought I could handle it but I couldn't. I never overcame it. I took a life. I couldn't believe it. I killed my baby. I wasn't sure who the father was but that didn't make any difference. I took my baby's life."

"After that my life changed. I mean it really changed. I dropped out of the sorority and put my mind to work. They say a tiger can't change its stripes but this one was going to try. I even changed colleges my junior and senior year. I didn't want to drag the baggage with me. I graduated from California State with my degree. I cut all ties with USC. Leah knew about the abortion. That was the last time I saw or spoke to her until the dinner at your parents."

"I did tell my parents I had a miscarriage. I couldn't tell them I killed their grandchild. It wasn't the baby's fault, it was mine. I was so sorry for being promiscuous and possibly hurting them also. I was doing my best to change. No more drugs, no more sex, I wanted to start over."

"A lot of people blame their lives on their parents. It's not true in my case. My parents were wonderful. I have three brothers and two sisters. I was in the middle. I guess I didn't get enough attention so I went out and found it. I really regret my past but I was going to learn from it."

"After graduation my parents agreed with me starting over was a good idea. So I packed my bags and headed east. I had an older sister in Indiana in whom I confided. She said I could stay with her and her family until I got on my feet. She was a homemaker. She taught me how to cook and decorate. I stayed there at her place until I moved here."

"I applied for secretarial work in Indiana and Ohio. Over a two year period I honed my abilities. Then I applied for this executive secretary's job. I am good at what I do, Jerry. I didn't have to give my body to get a job. I did it with my abilities. You need to know that I never slept with anyone to get a job. I worked my way up the ladder."

"Then I met you, Jerry. You might not believe this and I can't blame you don't but you were the first man I have had sex with since the abortion. It wasn't sex with you, Jerry, it was love. I wanted to tell you about my past so bad. I didn't want secrets between us. I was distraught when I saw Leah. I reacted stupidity. I should never have run out on you. God, I'm so sorry. I was so afraid of losing you and now I will probably lose you either way. I just wanted you to know. I love you so very, very much. When you pull through and I know you will, I will tell you everything. Even at the cost of losing you. Please forgive me."

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Wow, she told me everything. The love of my life admitted to being a slut. How was I supposed to deal with it. My mind knows but I can't do anything one way or the other. She's been here by my side day after day going on two months. She is trying to change and succeeding. Doesn't she deserve a second chance at a good life. Has what she did so much worse then anyone else? Hasn't she paid the price for her wrong doings?

What about all the women I have had sex with? I lived the same kind of lifestyle as Sally. I've changed, I know I have. I'm in love with Sally and when I pull through I'm going to take her in my arms and together we'll have that second chance.

"God, please help me. I know I can't do it without you." Isn't it funny how we turn to God when all else fails?

The next day my parents came in and talked to the doctors. After they left the doctors were turning my machines off. Have they given up on me? Was I dead? God, what was going on?

A few minutes later Sally came in screaming, demanding to know what was going on? The doctors told her that they have turned off all life support systems. The only thing they left hooked up was my feeding tubes. If I was to make it now, I had to do it on my own.

"Why?" Sally yelled, "Why can't you help him? Leave the machines on. Please."

The doctors showed her a document. It was a living will that I had signed after hearing about comatose patients being on life support for years. I remember signing it a few years ago. It read, "If I am ever comatose, after two months, if the doctors don't believe I have a good chance of recovery then I want to be taken off life support and allowed to die. But under no circumstances were my feeding tubes to be removed." I was not going to starve to death.

Sally was crying. She was on her knees praying to God. "God, please help him. He's a good man, he's the love of my life. If you take him, take me also. Life without him wouldn't be worth living. Please, Lord, give him a second chance. Give us a second chance. Give us a chance to be a family. Please, Lord, please."

The doctor and the nurse had tears in their eyes listening to Sally's prayer. The doctor looked at his nurse and with tears in his eyes he said, "There is no God! If there was, he wouldn't put this poor woman through all this suffering for nothing. What is there to gain to letting this man die?"