A Show For Him

It was eight o'clock in the morning as I puttered around in the kitchen. The sun was already up and it promised to be another beautiful August day. But, this wasn't just any day. Today was our twenty-eighth wedding anniversary.

Could that possibly be true? Just thinking about the number made me shake my head in wonder. I still thought of myself in the same way that I always had. However, a quick glance in the mirror was more than enough to remind me that I no longer resembled that young, thin twenty year old that had walked down that aisle so long ago.

There are no regrets for me, though - No, not a single one. The past twenty-eight years had seen us raise a family and make quite a life for ourselves. Some women may have had worries about their spouse's fidelity at one time or another. That was never a concern for me. Bill has loved me the same ever since we had our first date as juniors in high school.

It may not have been love at first sight, but Bill has this persistence about him that is so hard to resist. Rather than being forceful or bullying, my Bill has a charm to him that could melt through even the most obstinate soul. We dated throughout the rest of our high school years and we got married after he had completed his junior year of college.

I smiled and shook my head as I remembered the outrage that our announcement had elicited from our families --

"You're much too young!"

"You two have no idea what you are doing!"

"Are you both out of your minds?"

- but, Bill eventually wore them down with that way of his and we were married with the best wishes and blessings of both of our families. Twenty-eight years ago today I had walked down that aisle as an innocent young lady and became Mrs. Samantha Rogers.

We moved into the apartment that Bill was living in already while attending college. Looking back now, we laugh at how small that apartment had been. But at the time we thought we had everything that anyone could ever hope to have.

In our living room there was a battered old couch that he had found at a Salvation Army store and a combination television stand and bookshelf made out of some old lumber and cinderblocks. If company arrived, we had four mismatched folding chairs that we would hurriedly drag out of the closet. It's little wonder that we didn't have company all too often.

The bedroom consisted of one dresser, a small closet, and a TV tray borrowed from his Aunt Dorothy that served as a nightstand. The bed had a full sized mattress that was lumpy and had a permanent dent in the middle of it. That bed had been our one big purchase together. We found it at a garage sale two weeks before our wedding and I still laugh at the memory of the two of us struggling to carry it up the stairs to the apartment. It's a wonder than one or both of us didn't end up with broken bones that day!

Every girl dreams of a lavish honeymoon spent in some very romantic setting - dining on the finest gourmet meals and drinking the finest champagne while her husband showers her with gifts to show how much he loves her. Our honeymoon, however, didn't quite live up to that dream.

With Bill still being in school, that left me with my big job as a receptionist at a dentist's office as the sole wage earner. If you have ever held a similar position you can probably figure out that we barely had two nickels to rub together. We spent our wedding night at the apartment and the next four days at his uncle's camp on Loon Lake.

You know something? Those fantasies about a dream honeymoon were nice, but no two people were ever happier than we were on our budget version of that dream. That first night at the apartment Bill and I made love for the first time.

Yes, you read that right! While it is true that we had been seeing each other for a long time by then, we had never "gone all the way". My strict catholic upbringing and the good Sisters at St. Anthony's Catholic School had instilled in my brain the notion of premarital sex being a sin. Those same Sisters might have blanched if they had any idea of some of the things that we did do before the big night, but technically I had remained true to their demands. (This is one instance where all of Bill's charm didn't get him everything that he wanted!)

We may have waited for a long time to make love for the first time, but we soon set about making up for lost time. Those first years we could hardly keep our hands off of each other! Every day seemed to bring a new discovery -- a new source of pleasure and what made it special was that we made that journey together.

We made love every chance that we could. It's still a wonder to me that Bill was able to maintain his grade point average during that time. It seemed like ninety percent of his time was spent in bed with me or at least with him trying to get me into bed. There was even one memorable time that I went to the campus to meet him as he was getting out of class and we didn't even wait until we got home! We tried, but we only made it half way across the campus before we veered off into the woods and enjoyed each other.

As I mentioned earlier, we were both raised as Catholics. You know what that means -- no birth control. As we neared our first anniversary I found out that I was pregnant. I will never forget the look of happiness on Bill's face when I told him the news. It was the same look that I was to see three more times in the next five years as our family grew quickly.

Money was in really short supply during those early years. Bill added a full time job to his full load of course work and I worked off and on whenever I wasn't too pregnant to do so. Luckily we had a lot of help and support from our families and somehow we always managed to just get by. We gradually moved from one apartment to a slightly larger one with each addition to the family.

Bill had graduated with his engineering degree and it didn't take him long to start climbing the ladder at work. As I said before, he was so smart and had such a way about him that management had him on a fast track to success. Sure, there were tough times -- such as when our son went through a phase where he seemed destined to destroy his life with a series of bad choices or, after having given birth to four healthy babies, our last two attempts had ended in miscarriages -- but we pulled through them each time as a family.

I was very lucky. As Bill's salary grew, he made the decision that I shouldn't work anymore. We both felt that the children needed a full time mom and no career could ever replace the love and support that I was able to shower on our little ones as they grew.

So, as I stood in my kitchen on the morning of our twenty-eighth anniversary I was able to look back at a life that had been truly blessed. Our baby was now twenty-two years old and had just graduated from college. She had recently taken a job as a registered nurse in Florida. It was sad that she would be living so far away from us, but we were so proud of her for having the courage to take a job so far away from home without a worry in the world.

My thoughts turned to Bill who was still upstairs. I thought with a wicked grin that I should go up and give him a little anniversary surprise while he was still in bed. I was just setting my coffee cup down and imagining the look on his face when I would come into the bedroom completely naked to give him surprise, when he suddenly appeared in the kitchen. He was already dressed in his shorts and a t-shirt and had his gym bag in his hand. I felt a stab of disappointment that I had missed my opportunity for a little early morning fun in bed.

"I'm off for my racquetball game with Larry," he said, "I'll be back this afternoon and maybe we can do something then."

With that, he put his stupid orange baseball cap on his head and was gone. No "happy anniversary, dear" or even a "good morning". He was gone so quickly that I believe that had I but blinked I would have missed him altogether.

You might think that I would be angry with Bill for having seemingly forgotten our anniversary completely. You know what, though? This man had showed me millions of little ways throughout the years that he loved me. He didn't just say it. It was in the little things like always dropping me off at the door of the store when it was cold or rainy or always asking for my opinion and actually taking the time to hear what I was saying. It was in the way that he always enjoyed spending time with me and the way that he would always be sure to introduce me to his friends and co-workers. He never failed to make me feel important. I guess I could forgive him this morning for his oversight.

I smiled to myself as I watched him head for his car in the driveway. That dorky orange cap perched on his head. That hat had actually become sort of a running joke to us. He has owned it for years and I had tried my hardest to get him to part with it. On at least three separate occasions I had managed to put it in our pile to go to Goodwill, but each time he would spy it and mutter, "Now, how did that get in there?". Then he would slap it against his thigh and place it back on his head.

Suddenly, I had an entire morning all to myself. I hurried up stairs to get dressed for the day. This would be a wonderful day for my newest favorite indulgence.

About eight years ago Bill and I had purchased this house. The home was wonderful, but what really made me fall in love with the place was the land. The house came with twenty acres of woodland surrounding it. At the time that we had bought, it the kids were still in school. They were old enough to not need their mother twenty-four hours a day and, since I was not working, I had started taking little hikes into the woods to explore our new property.

I had been quite timid at first. You always heard stories every year about some unfortunate that had wandered into the woods and wound up lost for days on end. At the beginning I never ventured too far from the house, but eventually I got to the point where I was able to pick out certain landmarks that would tell me exactly where I was. Soon my trails began to become clearer as I walked them repeatedly.

In my third or fourth year of exploration I discovered a stream that ran through the property. Naturally, I followed the stream and soon discovered the most amazing thing! I couldn't believe my eyes when I spotted a small waterfall that emptied into a picturesque little pond. If I hadn't been totally in love with the property right from the beginning, then I surely would have been after discovering this.

To think, that this little Eden existed right here in upstate Vermont and that we owned it! The waterfall wasn't anything gigantic. It was maybe ten feet high and, while it wasn't exactly gushing over, it had a nice little stream of water that made the most delightful sound as it splashed down into the waiting pool.

That first day that I discovered it I carefully made my way down to have a closer look. I knew in my heart immediately that this would always be my secret place. The water was crystal clear and there were large flat rocks ringing the pond. Standing there in that brilliant sunshine, hearing the water tinkling down, and looking at all that beauty, I thought that I had found a little part of heaven.

Every couple of days I found myself almost magically pulled back to this place. I would sit on the flat stones in the sunshine and all of the worries of the world would just fade away. Sometimes I would dangle my toes in the water and if I was quiet enough I might be treated to the sight of a deer coming to drink from the pool.

I even dragged Bill out to my spot once. He's never been the rugged outdoor type, but he could sense my excitement and (God bless him) he was always willing to indulge me. Even Bill was speechless when we finally got to our destination. He dubbed this place "Sam's Sanctuary" and the name stuck.

Like I said, Bill was a good sport to make the trek out there that day. The only note of complaint that he voiced was he kept wondering out loud what wild animals might be all around us. He didn't try to talk me out of visiting there, but he did buy a small can of pepper spray that he wished I would carry with me just in case I did encounter something meaner than the squirrels and chipmunks. I couldn't argue with his logic and always made sure that it was clipped to my little backpack whenever I ventured out again.

I started wearing my bathing suit underneath my top and shorts and I would sometimes wade out into the water a go for a little swim. Nothing was ever so perfect as having this beautiful pool all to myself, where I could swim and then lay out on the rocks to soak up the sunshine. There was even a small rock ledge where you could walk out underneath the waterfall. You had to be careful because it was pretty slippery and it surely wouldn't do to slip and wind up with a broken bone so far from the house.

One day I was laying in the sunshine after my swim and a wicked notion occurred to me. What would it be like to maybe get a little tan in those places hidden by my bathing suit? I laughed it off, but that day I did slide the straps of my modest one piece suit off of my shoulders as I soaked up the rays.

The next time I visited my Sanctuary I again went for my customary swim before stretching out in the sun. This time I slid the straps off of my shoulders and even tugged the top down part way to expose the tops of my breasts. You may laugh at this, but for me this was being very daring.

It was several trips later when that wicked little voice in my head piped up again. Sitting up and carefully scanning the surrounding woods, I couldn't believe what I was actually considering! Slowly, my hands crept up to grasp the top of my suit. I peeled it down my body exposing myself in public for the first time.

My heart was beating a mile a minute as my eyes swept the woods for any sign of an intruder. You wouldn't believe how many sounds there are in the woods even when you are all alone. I would jump every time I heard a twig snap or a woodpecker would start chipping away at some tree.

When I had calmed down sufficiently and was satisfied that there wasn't another living soul for miles around, I stood up and finished peeling my suit off completely. There I stood -- Francis and Nora's little girl -- in all of her glory! I was scared to death and felt a bit foolish as I settled back down on the warm rocks for my first ever all-over tanning session.

In addition to feeling scared there was something else that I was feeling. I don't know exactly how to describe it, but it felt so liberating to be out in nature in -- well, a natural way! I had never been quite ashamed of my body. God knows that Bill still had plenty of interest in me. However, I was enough of a realist to know that I wasn't a raving beauty anymore either. I think you would be hard-pressed to find a woman anywhere that couldn't make a list a mile long of the flaws in her body. Without any eyes around, though, I could relax and just accept my body and enjoy the sensual feel of the sun's rays on my skin.

After lying in the sun for a while my skin started to burn. I got up and didn't even give a thought to donning my suit once again. I walked into the water for my first ever skinny dip. The feeling was unbelievable! The cool water against my warm skin combined with the sensation of being completely naked in the water was incredible. I secretly chastised myself for never having done this earlier.

The nude sunbathing and swimming became my new routine. Each time I began to feel more and more comfortable with my public nakedness. As I grew more comfortable I soon began to not even bother with the swimsuit at all. I wonder what the Good Sisters at St. Anthony's would have thought if they had ever seen me standing there in the great out of doors in just my bra and panties for all the world to see. Probably not as shocked as they would have been after I dropped those remaining items of clothing, too!

I began to look forward to my excursions even more than I had previously. On days when I had other chores to perform I found that I missed that feeling of complete freedom that I could only get at my Sanctuary. During the long fall and winter months I longed for a return of the warm sunshine more than ever.

My newfound activity had a quite an unexpected benefit. As my confidence in my body grew I found that I was also becoming more of an outgoing person. Several close friends mentioned to me that they had noticed that I appeared to be happier than they could ever remember. I had become much more affectionate with my husband and felt more at ease in public. I began to wish that I had discovered this activity much sooner in life.

All was going along blissfully until that fateful day this past June. I had hiked out to my pond and was enjoying my usual naked frolicking. While I was standing on the rock ledge beneath the waterfall a movement from the hillside woods ringing the pond caught my eye. I took another look and that was when I saw him!

He was crouched behind some brush and appeared to be staring intently at the scene before him in my Sanctuary. My immediate reaction was to hold my arms up in front of my body. "How dare he!", my mind screamed.

He wasn't making any move to advance from his hiding spot. How long had he been spying on me? Was this the first time that he had been there? I had grown much too comfortable with my supposed privacy that I had not even been on the lookout for any intruders lately.

I took a quick glance at the pile of my clothes and my backpack with the little can of pepper spray lying just a few feet from my perch. I considered making a mad dash for my belongings and running away as fast as I could. However, it occurred to me that his hiding spot was so far away from me. Clearly, it wasn't his intention to spring upon me. He obviously wanted his presence to remain a secret. I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest as I felt his eyes taking in my bare flesh. So, instead of running away in shame I did something that I never would have dreamed that I would do. I slowly lowered my hands and exposed my naked body to him.

I can't even explain all of the conflicting thoughts that were flashing through my brain. The one thought that seemed to be the strongest, though was the thought that it made me feel sexier than I had in many years to have someone looking at me in the nude like this. The acceptance of my own body that I had acquired since finding this place made it seem almost natural to share my nakedness with another human being.

I raised my hands and ran my fingers through my hair as the water cascaded down over me. I tried to avoid looking in his direction, but I found myself sneaking quick glances at his hiding spot. Still, there was no movement on his part. I felt bolder and more confident that I was indeed safe. I ran my hands softly over my skin and slowly gave in to the sensual feelings that were now coursing through my veins.

After a few minutes, I stepped out from beneath the waterfall and bent to pick up my towel. I slowly dried myself off and moved over to my favorite spot to lay down and soak up some sun. I had to fight to keep my legs from shaking - so conscious was I of his eyes upon me.

However, when I next chanced a glance in his direction, I found that he was gone. Vanished! My heart hammered in my chest as I scanned the area around the pond. But, no -- he had not come in my direction at all. His hiding spot had been very near the top of the hill and he must have scrambled up over the top when I wasn't looking.

I felt such a mix of emotions. I was shocked at how I had acted so brazenly just a few minutes ago. I also felt even more liberated than I had on my earlier trips here. It felt so damn good to be a woman and to be desired. I had reached a point where I not only had come to an acceptance of the flaws that my body might have, but also an acceptance of the beauty that it held as well.